have you "let yourself go"?

GretchenlovesMichael · November 2009

this is sort of a s/o on the priorities discussion in the post below. does anyone else feel like they've let themselves go since being a mama?

maybe part of it for me is that i devoted 2 years of my life to getting pregnant, then devoted my pgcy to keeping M&D healthy in there (of course!) which for me meant bedrest from about 28w on. all of that meant basically turning my body over to make and gestate these LOs. and now of course i BF on demand, wear them a ton, etc. which means my body is still largely devoted to them. just now, at 7 months, i feel like i am beginning to get myself back even a little... i haven't cut my hair in at least a year and 99% of the time it is thrown up in a sloppy pony tail. i still weigh 25 lbs more than i did pre-pgcy and an additional 25 more than i did pre-IF. i almost never wear make-up any more. and most days i am in yoga pants and a nursing tank with a sweater. and while i am frankly embarrassed by my appearance i just can't seem to motivate myself to do anything about it. i mean, it has been appropriate to put all of this stuff on the back burner up to a point, but now i feel like it's time to take care of me, at least a little. and yet day to day i just don't.

sorry so rambley - i guess i'm just asking if anyone can relate. thanks mamas

kat.in.the.hat · November 2009

i had to laugh at the haircut comment because the last time i got my hair cut was at 36 weeks pg. my wonderful husband booked me an appointment and got off work early so i could go sans kiddo for a birthday present.

i found it a lot easier to make a mental switch when marion turned a year old. i guess it just seemed to me the "i just had a baby" excuse wasn't valid any longer and i wasn't happy with myself.

i did learn though that all my dressing up and make up and stuff before baby wasn't to make me happy, it was to impress others. so now, i really do things just for myself, which means i fix my hair, but i just don't bother with makeup. i'm in a lot of yoga pants, but now, they're new pairs or coordinated with a cute t-shirt.

moroccojade · November 2009

I can definitely relate to the a lot of this. Especially the weight thing. I still have 25 pounds to lose... 3 sizes to drop. I keep getting bursts of motivation -- but then they fade so quickly. It's a nightmare.

But I do keep my hair cut/coloured. Although I don't spend as much styling it to make it look decent. I do on Sundays, though. Speaking in front of 500 people makes one haul out the old flat iron and put the contacts in. I also do makeup every day. And have since DD was born. It's one of two promises I made to myself. That we would go outside every day - even if it was just to the grocery store... and that I would put on makeup. Both made me feel human. :P

I hate that many of my clothes are so old/outdated. I just don't want to spend much money on fat clothes, KWIM? Especially when I have a bunch of nice new thin clothes stashed away.

Anyway. You're a gorgeous woman, Gretchen. Taking some time for yourself will make you feel great. A good start would be making an appointment for a haircut. Definitely. That one little step will get you moving in the right direction.

As for dropping the pounds? I don't have a magical cure for that. I do have the perfect easy eating plan that helps me lose with minimal effort, but I keep sabotaging myself. It's so screwy.

LucyPevensie · November 2009

i haven't cut my hair in at least a year and 99% of the time it is thrown up in a sloppy pony tail. i still weigh 25 lbs more than i did pre-pgcy and an additional 25 more than i did pre-IF. i almost never wear make-up any more. and most days i am in yoga pants and a nursing tank with a sweater. and while i am frankly embarrassed by my appearance i just can't seem to motivate myself to do anything about it.

DITTO EVERYTHING. Except I did recently get my hair cut and highlighted and it looks AWESOME - but you would NEVER know it because it is always, seriously - every day, all day - up in a sloppy bun - no exceptions. Oh and no nursing tank either. But the extra weight, no make-up, oh and hairy legs far more often than not - CHECK! For me, I feel like I have no time for myself - I am either at work - or with Jack. And I don't want to take extra time away from him because I'm already away so much working. I have no answer - but feel like crap about how I look these days. I used to be pretty darn attractive. Sad

m_and_m · November 2009

I didn't let myself go, but I did revamp my maintenance schedule.

I have a hairstyle that requires little to no styling (polyester hair- wash and wear, baby!), I can put my makeup on in the car w/o a mirror (except for stop lights- that's when I do the mascara , and my clothes are casual but fit well. I felt really schlumpy in my clothes for awhile though, just because of PP squish.

It's a new version of me- one that requires little to no upkeep but still allows me to look somewhat put together even if I don't accessorize or brush my hair.

ncbelle · November 2009

I think I'm pretty much the same but I've always been sort of "slack" - I get cheap haircuts and always have my hair pulled back (seriously, it looks exactly the same in pictures from 10 years ago - yikes!). I'm a pretty causal dresser, mostly because I don't have to dress up (although I like nice clothes, just don't like to spend money on them!).

I will say that working out is something that is an absolute must for my mental health as much as anything. I think you have to find what that thing is for you - whether it's a daily walk, weekly pedicures, monthly spa day - something you do just for you.

LittleEgypt · November 2009

Uh, yes, and I hardly have the excuse that you do! I got pg pretty quickly with my one baby, and yet I'm still up ~20lbs and look like hell! I have not had a haircut in months (and when I did I went somewhere new because I didn't want to drive into Seattle and leave DS for hours), and I wear a very limited wardrobe of my one-size-up jeans, yoga pants, and tops that I can nurse in. I wish my hair would go into a decent ponytail, but it's still too short.

I do wear makeup every day (because I'm totally addicted to it), and I 'accessorize' with a sling or mei tai, and really everybody just looks at DS anyway. He's so freaking cute.

alina*marie · November 2009

I don't think I've let myself go but I am still kinda frustrated with how I look these days. I am back in my pp jeans (yay bf'ing!) but ALL my tee shirts are too short, and I can't wear any of my cute vintage dresses. My boobs are just too big for the tees and dresses with zippers up the back are not nursing friendly (boo bf'ing!). So I am wearing the same 5 things over and over... feels blah. I used to dress pretty "creatively" and feeling boring sorta grinds me down. I need to do some hardcore baby-free thrifting for nursing gear. Someday...

webMistress0609 · November 2009

I WAH, so I wear a ton of yoga pants & casual tops anyway. I always try to dress better if I go out, but it happens less often now.

I haven't had a haircut in 6 months. Partially it's because I was trying to grow out a bad haircut, partially because I'm too busy.

My biggest thing is weight & exercise. I only have 13 pounds to lose, but it just will not go away. I practiced Pilates & yoga religiously pre-baby, but had to quit halfway through my pregnancy & don't really have time now. So I still look about 5 months pregnant. It really bothers me.

I made the mistake of taking on a massive freelance gig (I'm a web designer) in August. I already work full time & should have known my limitations. I'll be wrapping that up in the next few weeks & won't be taking any more freelance gigs for the foreseeable future. I've got to make some time for me!

kammy · November 2009

I completely relate, especially in the idea of having a big goal that you really do want to achieve, but lacking the day to day motivation to make it happen.

This mama thing is really a 24hr a day job. Most days it feels a bit daunting to get him cleaned up and changed clothes, get me a shower, keep both of us fed, and keep the house reasonably tidy. I totally plan on adding in a workout for me, but somehow it hasn't happened yet. I agree with the others, though. I hadn't had a haircut in a year and I just went; it really does make a huge difference.

Quazel · November 2009

I went almost a year without a haircut too! I have let myself go since I met DH. Dh is a former semi-pro football player with an appetite to match and bad habits. A terrible excuse, I know, but since meeting him and trying to cook so he will eat, I have put on 45 lbs. I looked rotten for the last 25 lbs. of it because I refused to buy nice clothes, I kept saying that would be motivation to lose more weight. yeah, that worked like a charm, haha.

Since having DS, I am a few lbs. under pp weight (although still 40 over when we met) and nothing fit my new body and ginormous boobs so I asked for clothes from the entire family for my birthday. I went shopping at Eddie Bauer, their clothes fit me well now, and I think I look better than I have in three years. I at least dont' look as frumpy, even with the constant ponytail! DH and I are trying to make some eating changes so we can set a good example for DS. That is helping.

CalinsBride · November 2009

Hmm, interesting question.

Honestly, I have never been the kind of person to pay too much attention to my appearance. I'm just far too lazy for that. I've never spent more than 5 minutes doing my make-up, and I usually get braids in my hair that I can keep in for a couple of months so all I have to do is wash it and go (see sig pic). I also hardly ever buy new clothes, and don't pay attention to what I'm wearing unless I'm going somewhere special (ie, a family get together, dinner with DH or friends, etc).

BUT, since having M, I have become even schlumpier, if that's possible. I haven't had my braids redone in about 4 months (ick), I hardly ever wear make-up at all, and even though I fit into my pre-preg clothes I still wear my mat clothes sometimes because they're comfortable and I paid for them. I'm not too concerned about it, either. I think my hair desperately needs to be redone, but it's hard to find 6 hours to sit for that. Aside from my hair, though, I don't really care. I consider it a success if I can shower and put on lip gloss.

hula_lula · November 2009

Well, i'm working so I kind of have to be reasonably put together.

But on the weekends it's way too easy to wear a sloppy shirt, no makeup and barely comb my hair.

i'm pretty girlie most of the time, so I feel better when I'm a least partially nicely-dressed and wearing a bit of makeup. It's hard to strike that balance, though.

WyoGal · November 2009

Yes, but some of it is out of being stubborn. Before I got pregnant and was at my old job, I had put together a decent wardrobe of "western casual" outfits, consisting of decent jeans, cute well-fitting tops, and sometimes blazers. Everything was mix and match so even though I'm a fashion-dweeb, I could look pulled together easily and wore the same on the weekends for the first time in my life.

Now that those don't fit well/right or at all, I have nothing that looks nice on me so it's lead to a spiral of letting myself go. I bought new jeans that fit nice, but have yet to find any tops that fit me that I like and/or are big enough to BF in. Now "nice" is jeans and a baggy sweatshirt, and not nice is yoga pants/pj pants and baggy sweatshirt. *sigh* Knowing we'll be having more kids so even if/when I get back to my PP weight I'll be headed back up, I should invest in nice "big" clothes, but as I said, I'm stubborn.

Sally J · November 2009

For the first 8 months after having Cooper I as too busy with one, and then two babies to worry about myself. I hated the way I looked and felt about myself and only further impacted my PPD/PAD. My therapist suggested I start taking 10 min a day for myself to focus on my appearance. It worked wonders.

I get a regular haircut and see it as time for me. I bought clothes in a bigger size after watching many episodes of What Not to Wear and hearing over and over, dress your body for today, not what you wish your body looked like. Well fitting clothes has made a huge difference about how I feel about my extra pounds. It has motivated me to stick to workout and lose extra weight which lets me put the 'fat' clothes in the back of the closet and bring out all my 'skinny' clothes!

I do my hair and makeup everyday, but I've found an easy style and make-up regime that it only takes 15 min to do both. Again, I see this as taking 15 min for myself every day. I want my children to learn to appreciate and respect themselves and I figure the best way to do that is to set an example for them.

brideofaussie · November 2009

Most definitely and I continually struggle with it. I struggle to find the will to care about my appearance and my well being. Just thinking that in my head and writing it down just now- it sounds TERRIBLE and it is. But it is the truth. It's just that between *everything* else going on in our lives right now it's an easy thing to let go. Once I am able to leave my job in Dec. it is on my to-do list to go back to WW and begin exercising regularly.

As it is I can barely keep up a minimum level of cleanliness in our apt.

IU_baby · November 2009

I'm upset with myself that I haven't been more motivated to lose the last 15 pounds. You would think that getting back into all of my clothes would be motivation enough, but sadly it's not.

Other than my weight, I haven't let myself go, but I've always been the type of person to be dressed and have makeup on, even if it's just a little mascara and lipgloss. It makes me feel better about myself. I still get my hair cut and highlighted, still wear heels (to work) and generally care about my appearance. My clothes and handbags aren't trendy anymore though. I'd rather spend money on other things.

EcoBaby · November 2009

I am also not really the type of person to worry about how I look, so nothing has changed there. I wear minimal makeup. I put it on in about 7 minutes while keeping one eye on the kid - chasing him around the house. I haven't cut my hair since I was 40 weeks pregnant.

I am back to my PP weight though, so I will be an AW about that. I've lost 50 lbs. I am just now getting back into my old clothes, which feel like new because I haven't worn them in so long. I even took a bunch of stuff to the cleaners recently so its like I have a new wardrobe.

I do yoga twice a week now and I try to eat well. We go on a walk every night. This keeps me sane.

Dobie_Mama · November 2009

ncbelle:
I think I'm pretty much the same but I've always been sort of "slack" - I get cheap haircuts and always have my hair pulled back (seriously, it looks exactly the same in pictures from 10 years ago - yikes!). I'm a pretty causal dresser, mostly because I don't have to dress up (although I like nice clothes, just don't like to spend money on them!).

This is totally me. I've always been a minimal make up, jeans & t-shirt kinda girl. Even my work clothes are not "girly" or "dressy" ... just business basics. I'm pretty much the same as I've always been.

momofolivia · November 2009

I'm not a flashy person - although I wish I had the time, money and inclination to be so.

So I don't think I have "let myself go" but I do have a belly pouch that I know I get to go down if I exercise and eat well. I know I have 10-15 pounds that I could lose and would look much better.

I rarely wear makeup, and am trying to do more actually. I'm trying to update my wardrobe economically (read: TJ MAxx).

I feel a bit slumpy and need a haircut and am going to home-dye my hair one of these days (from the box I bought about 3 months ago!)

EmmieB · November 2009

I'm coming in late but it's something I've been thinking about lately and I wanted to add my $.02.

1st - I don't even remotely have the excuse you guys do. If I'm this bad now, how on earth will it be after Bunny is born?

Before we moved/I got knocked up, I worked out of the home. I did my hair (almost) every day and even though my wardrobe wasn't extensive it was filled with items that fit well and would hold their own against clients who expect their designers to dress well. (Luckily, I married a clotheshorse, so we share that. If only he liked to shop...)

And then we moved. And I wasn't working, I was unpacking and setting up our house. And we were traveling. And I got a stomach flu. And then I got knocked up and spent my first tri in bed and NOW I joke - even though I'm only halfway joking - that my default hairstyle is "bedhead."

I wear - literally - whatever fits. I rarely put in my contacts and I can't remember the last time I put on makeup.

I realized how bad it had gotten when Husband came home earlier this week and I was in jeans and a fitted maternity t-shirt and had my contacts in and had brushed my hair (pediatrician interview) and he made a comment about how good I looked. (By comparison - he was in Armani. Head to toe. Ok, not his shoes.) I was thinking "oh crap. And I haven't shaved my legs since I stopped being able to see them."

So here's hoping that when Bunny comes and we start moving around after the rainy season starts to subside (I'm like one of those lizards that slows down the colder it gets) and I'm cleared to climb again that I'll put myself back together. I won't be all dressy foo foo every day again because I won't need to be, but if I can brush my hair every day that will feel like a win.

somethingchangd · November 2009

abso-freakin'-lutely. I used to get my hair cut and colored every 6 weeks, religiously. Haven't had a cut since January (and I have a gift certificate to the salon I use(d)). I used to wear heels daily. I think I've worn them twice this year. I'm still 23 pounds up and am not doing anything to lose it (unless eating cookies for breakfast counts). I do still wear makeup, but I can totally trump you when I tell you I have NO IDEA when I last shaved my legs. We're talking months. I have really pale, sparse leg hairs, but come on. Pathetic.

I don't feel like my body is my own right now, which is good and bad. I think if I felt better about my appearance it might help, but with giant boobies (in a bad way), fat tummy and terrible hair, it's hard to get motivated. And I don't have time to work out (not like I would).

Anyway, long story short: I have completely let myself go.

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