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was anyone's toddler an intense/high needs baby?

james_loverjames_lover
in Toddlers: 24 Months+

What is their personality like now?

Don't get me wrong, I love DS to death, but he is definitely what you would call an intense baby - he's been like this since he was born.  He demands attention, throws tantrums already if he can't have something he wants, is very stubborn and is just overall a very serious baby.  He cries a lot.  He's definitely not laid back/go with the flow like his sister was.  He rules the show.  Can I expect him to mellow out a bit as he gets older and his able to express himself better, or do you think this is just his personality?  Some days are worse than others, but it sure is draining me.  It's so weird because both DH and I are very mellow people.

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Re: was anyone's toddler an intense/high needs baby?

  • ciaobella*ciaobella*

    We joke that since birth DS is one of two extremes, either very happy or very upset. But its not so much of a joke, he's usually a pretty happy kid but he's definately high maintenance. Like your DS demands attention and is extremely stubborn. Now that he's two his high maintenance is more that he needs to be constantly chased after, he's sooooooooooooooo mischevious. My mom said one of the brothers was the same way and as he got older he mellowed out and I know as Dman gets older he'll mellow out but I think the mischevious and two extremes is just part of his personality. Like I said he's usually a happy kid but when he's upset... well lets just say mommy wishes she got her tubes tied after DD was born.

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  • staci78staci78
    i had to reply to this one:)  That is my ds.  Since the day we walked into our house for the first time he was that way.  He didn't sleep through the night till after one and not just waking up but hours of crying in the middle of the night each night.  We still don't know why; just his personality the dr says.  Don't expect him to change much.  DS is still very intense about things and is stubborn but sweet at the same time.  This is just the way it is...it is exhausting and most people don't understand.  You just have to get used to it and accept it....it's not necessarily bad.  I say it's b/c he's so smart and knows too much:)
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  • staci78staci78
    i forgot to mention he's 2.5 now.  Now that he is more independant it's definitely better and as he can communicate more it should get better but he is sure a handful!!
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  • kirnat848kirnat848
    No help but just wanted to say I love you daughters name! (its mine too!)
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  • ilovemygirlsilovemygirls member

    My now 5yo was a very intense, needy baby who needed me all.the.time.  I got very little sleep the first year of her life.  My DH & I are both actually pretty 'even', so having one like that really threw me for a loop.  She was a big temper tantrum kid- especially when she hit 3- and could throw tantrums for 2+ hours.  On the flip side, she could be the sweetest, most loving kiddo ever.  What I have noticed as she's gotten older is that her personality is such that if she takes a stand on an issue, she will keep with it- even to her own detriment LOL! 

    In the last 6 or so months, she's gotten a lot better.  And we've gotten better at knowing how to handle her.  When she goes into a mode where she is being more emotional & is apt to having a tantrum, she winds down more quickly now.  We also have a younger daughter (2.5) who is a complete opposite from her sister.


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  • semdkmsemdkm
    Ditto Staci78.  Our dd is 2 now, and while she's mostly mellowed out now that she can communicate well, there are moments I'm ready to pull my hair out.  Our dd cried alot (colic), wouldn't latch, had a milk allergy, almost never slept, (to this day she won't go to bed alone, and even when we broked down and tried ferber, she nearly bloodied herself she was so po'd--slamming her head against the crib, screeching, you name it).  Now, when she's po'd, hell hath no fury-hitting, biting, screaming, to the point I just need to set her down and can't even try to calm her until I give her a few minutes by herself.  But most of the time (again, now that she communicates well and can express what she needs, what hurts, etc.), she's usually happy and accommodating--but only if we stick with her schedule.  She'll never be the toddler we can take on a long car trip (hates carseats), or will just easily go to bed at night on her own, etc.  We miss a lot of family dinners out b/c our dd will not cooperate with a 7pm dinner out (but then, I don't know that many toddlers who would).  But she's wonderful otherwise, so we deal ;) (Plus, I've lost four other babies to miscarriages.  When I get frustrated with our dd, I remind myself I should be thankful she's such a fighter-she's the one who made it!  Perspective is everything!). 
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  • cbc04cbc04

    DD was absolutley a High Intensity baby!  And it really threw us for a loop at first because DH and I pretty mellow people, and always assumed our children would be as well....  It was really hard when she was little (she's 2 now) -she would go from very happy to totally upset screaming in a second.  We could never CIO with her because she didn't just fuss and quietly cry like most other babies in our playgroup -she's all-out shriek and scream-ever since she was only a few months old.  And her scream/cry is at least a few decibels above most babies -ear piercing we would always say!  Looking back, I think she may have had some gas issues, but I can't be sure. 

    Around her 1st birthday she really started to mellow though -and now she's usually a very mellow, happy girl.  She's still strong-willed but for the most part she does listen and follow directions well.  I think it helped that I made a point to have her play independantly for a 10-15 mins at a time when she around 8 months.  Before that she needed constant attention.  Now she plays by herself and entertains herself very well (of course we play with her all the time too -it's not like she just plays be herself all day!).  But somehow it seems like that helped her a lot to mellow in general.  And once she got to the appropriate age, she started getting time-outs when she really started acting up (not for every tantrum, but when she'd get to the point of throwing and screaming).  Now she has very very few tantrums because she knows they won't get her anywhere.  My Mom says all time that DD really put DH and I through the ringer when she was an infant -but it's so worth it now because now she's such a sweetie :)  Hang in there!

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  • james_loverjames_lover

    imagekirnat848:
    No help but just wanted to say I love you daughters name! (its mine too!)

    Thanks!  I love, love, love the name.

    Thanks for all the replies ladies.  I guess I'm not alone.  It just seems that everyone I know IRL have these perfectly content little babies and mine is just not.  I know exactly what some of you mean about the crying too.  I could never let DS CIO for fear he would really hurt himself.  And his cry is the worst I have ever heard.  You would almost swear the child was in pain the way he screams - and that's just his regular old cry.  Thanks for the encouragment!

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