I thought having answers about why we lost Pumpkin would make me feel better. It's not making me feel better, right now.
My EDD is on Sunday for our first baby. I can't farking believe I am sitting here mourning another baby lost at the same time. This is not how it was supposed to be. There it is. This shouldn't have happened.
I have not done a good job ttc this month - even though I had 3 lovely follies at u/s. I've not kept us on task to FWP this week - and I feel terrible about it, and am mad that DH hasn't either.
m/c#1 07/16/08 (11 weeks), m/c#2 10/10/08 (8 weeks).
and then nothing since except every test possible (no answers).
IUI#1 and #2: BFNs
Super lucky to be buddies with Peetie.
Our out of nowhere, surprise DD born 5/29/2011
2--EDD for baby 2 was to be Thanksgiving Day. I know DH wants to do the normal routine, there's a part of me that just wants to be a weeping mess that day.
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I am a complete mess today. I need to pull it together, but am having a hard time. I keep thinking "at this time two months ago I was...". It isn't healthy, and I need to stop reliving everything.
IVF cycle 1-BPF!
9/13/09-Twin boys born at 23 weeks due to Pprom.
Ethan and Jacob-our beautiful angel babies lived for 11 minutes and 23 hours.
Single embryo FET 12/2009-BFP!
Blake born 8/2010 at 39 weeks after 36 hours of labor and an emergency c section <
IVF 2- BPF! Due April 27th
Our Story
Seriously, I know I am good at my job, but since my loss I am here so much during the day. Quite honestly, I am not doing as much work as I should be--- and I am masking it well. But I REALLY wanted this job, and I was SO EXCITED to start in August, and now I could care less.
I am currently cleaning my desk instead of working due to it looking like a class 5 tornado came through. I need to get it straight before my four day weekend coming up.
AF came too early and that's my excuse for not going to the gym yesterday. (I am going tonight though)
I want to get drunk this weekend.
MY FOUR ANGELS...
M/C 12/26/02 AT 4 WEEKS
M/C 12/31/07 AT 12 WEEKS, D & C
M/C 12/5/08 AT 9 WEEKS, D & C
***BFP ON 3/26/09***
MARY REYNA BORN AND PASSED AWAY JULY 31ST, 2009 AT 23 WEEKS.
GOODBYE SWEET BABY...I WILL MISS YOU FOREVER.
***AFTER 17 WEEKS ON BEDREST***
Re: ~Fridays Dirt~ Confessions!~
I thought having answers about why we lost Pumpkin would make me feel better. It's not making me feel better, right now.
My EDD is on Sunday for our first baby. I can't farking believe I am sitting here mourning another baby lost at the same time. This is not how it was supposed to be. There it is. This shouldn't have happened.
I have not done a good job ttc this month - even though I had 3 lovely follies at u/s. I've not kept us on task to FWP this week - and I feel terrible about it, and am mad that DH hasn't either.
1--I'm barely working today. It's more fun here
2--EDD for baby 2 was to be Thanksgiving Day. I know DH wants to do the normal routine, there's a part of me that just wants to be a weeping mess that day.
I am a complete mess today. I need to pull it together, but am having a hard time. I keep thinking "at this time two months ago I was...". It isn't healthy, and I need to stop reliving everything.
9/13/09-Twin boys born at 23 weeks due to Pprom.
Ethan and Jacob-our beautiful angel babies lived for 11 minutes and 23 hours.
Single embryo FET 12/2009-BFP! Blake born 8/2010 at 39 weeks after 36 hours of labor and an emergency c section < IVF 2- BPF! Due April 27th Our Story
Ditto about not working.........
Seriously, I know I am good at my job, but since my loss I am here so much during the day. Quite honestly, I am not doing as much work as I should be--- and I am masking it well. But I REALLY wanted this job, and I was SO EXCITED to start in August, and now I could care less.
I am currently cleaning my desk instead of working due to it looking like a class 5 tornado came through. I need to get it straight before my four day weekend coming up.
AF came too early and that's my excuse for not going to the gym yesterday. (I am going tonight though)
I want to get drunk this weekend.