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Not sure what to do next re: potty training

UBMyBabyUBMyBaby
in Parenting

I'm following all the advice...no diapers or pull-ups (I tried that a week ago and quickly realized she just treated the pull-ups like diapers)....so we went to underwear.  Tons of accidents, to be expected.  But not once has she gone on the potty.  Not once. 

She sits there, and often cries.  She starts to poop and I put her on, and she holds it.  This went on for two hours today...on and off the potty with her starting to go but then stopping once I put her on.  She wet herself once and pooped again in her underwear--which I have to say is so frustrating. You can't pull underwear down without this massive load spilling onto the floor. 

I kept my cool for the first two days,but I'd be lying if I didn't admit I lost it today, more than once already.  So what's next?  Am I destined to just keep doing this hour after hour until she figures it out?  Do I change tactics?  And really, I'm not a fan of the go bare naked for days on end...with my kid, there will just be mad poop on every surface since she clearly doesn't care that she gets "dirty".

Is it possible that she still isn't ready? Or that she's just manipulating the situation?  I mean, I knew she had to go for hours this morning as she would start and then hold it.  So how do I get her to just do it? 

I'm beyond frustrated, which I know is not helpful with potty training, but I'm starting to think all these "everything was so easy and wonderful" potty training stories are just not realistic for me. Please help!

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Re: Not sure what to do next re: potty training

  • TwoChickensTwoChickens

    Honestly, it sounds to me like she's not ready.  Its not a bad thing...some kids are ready sooner than others.

    And yeah...potty training has been a b!tch for me.

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  • debs1018debs1018 member
    Is she peeing on the potty? She may not be ready. We started my son in Sept. when he was 3,and the poop is still a battle. At first I let him go in a diaper, because I felt so bad for him. But I constantly talked about it with him, we talked poop all the time. LOL. Honestly dont push her. Maybe go back to diapers and try after the holidays.
    Julian David 8/7/06 and Isabella Mia 5/14/09
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  • UBMyBabyUBMyBaby

    Part of me thinks she just may not be ready...but then do I stop putting her on the potty and asking if she needs to go?  I feel like the only progress we have made is that she is semi-willing to sit on it...6 weeks ago, that was a traumatic nightmare for her.  She screamed at the mere mention of it. 

    I feel so lost!

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  • hikerbethhikerbeth member

    I would say that if she's crying about it, you should definitely back off for a while.

    Can she tell you if she'd rather go on a little potty or the big potty?  What kind of underwear she wants? etc. etc.  Give her a lot of choices in the matter.  Do you have a good prize/incentive lined up?

    If you are getting to the point of blowing up and being frustrated, you should definitely back off as well.  It went waaaaaaay against my nature, but I made a really concious effort to be super annoyingly positive even through all the accidents while training.  I think it really helped.

    imageimage Ashley Sawtelle Photography
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  • UBMyBabyUBMyBaby

    imagedebs10/18:
    Is she peeing on the potty? She may not be ready. We started my son in Sept. when he was 3,and the poop is still a battle. At first I let him go in a diaper, because I felt so bad for him. But I constantly talked about it with him, we talked poop all the time. LOL. Honestly dont push her. Maybe go back to diapers and try after the holidays.

     

    Nope.  No pee on the potty.  She has pooped on it once last week.  That's it.  

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  • UBMyBabyUBMyBaby
    imagehikerbeth:

    I would say that if she's crying about it, you should definitely back off for a while.

    Can she tell you if she'd rather go on a little potty or the big potty?  What kind of underwear she wants? etc. etc.  Give her a lot of choices in the matter.  Do you have a good prize/incentive lined up?

    If you are getting to the point of blowing up and being frustrated, you should definitely back off as well.  It went waaaaaaay against my nature, but I made a really concious effort to be super annoyingly positive even through all the accidents while training.  I think it really helped.

     

    I have both kinds.  She doesn't want anything to do with the little floor one, so we put the Elmo seat on the big potty.  She has 15 pairs of underwear which she picked out..all Tinkerbell and Belle.  She loves them and talks about them.  We bought her a Tinkerbell sticker book as an incentive.  And we keep telling her when she starts going she can have her big girl bed with all her cool bedding and pillows.  I feel like it's all there, but she isn't falling for it.

    You are right about the positive behavior.  I need to reign it in and start fresh I think if we keep going.  I'm really willing to do anything at this point.

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  • KoriBrettKoriBrett
    I would back off for a while and try again later.  DD was right at her 3rd birthday when she up and decided it was time  -  that was the key, it had to be HER idea or it just wasn't going to happen.
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  • wellfleet04wellfleet04 member
    She sounds a lot like Kate.  Kate definitely understands the whole potty deal.  She can talk about it ad naseum.  She understands the sticker chart we've tried, the rewards, prizes, underwear being cool, etc etc etc.  She STILL will not use it.  I guess she'll just do it when she's ready, but it is frustrating because she is able to be so verbal about it yet still pooping her pants.  We tried the 3-day cold turkey underwear method also, and she made ZERO progress, much like your DD.  She was having just as many accidents the third day as the first.  I concluded she is just not ready, frustrating as that is.  GL!
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  • JOEBunnyJOEBunny member
    My DD didn't really train until 3 and not reliably until 3.25.  Someone told me to try for 1 or 2 days 1X per month starting around 2 and that is what we did.  I would try a day when I knew we would be around and she would sometimes go and sometimes not, then one day, she just kept using the potty.  No stress, very little anger :-)  Of course, she was older than a lot of kids, but I don't care. 
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  • UBMyBabyUBMyBaby
    Hmm..ok.  Maybe I'll keep having her try but scale back a little.  Thanks for all the opinions.  I really think I am so close to the situation that I can't tell if she is or is not ready, but maybe you mommas are all right....so I'll go with it.  Thanks for the responses!
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