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Need input on a daycare issue....(looong)

flyingsaucerflyingsaucer member
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

My 19 month old goes to daycare at my job.  There are 5 kids in the room with 2 full time adults.  Three of the kids are close to his age (within 2-3 mos) and there are 2 babies: 7 and 8 mos old.  The daycare is open 8am-4pm.

My son has recently started biting other kids.  Sometimes its because he is upset that the other kids took a toy or something, and other times it seemingly out of the blue. 

Today, I walked by the room and peeked in.  I saw him screaming and crying in a corner of the room, so I went in to see what was going on.  The daycare providers had some furniture blocking off one small corner of the room, and my son was in there (with a few toys) screaming and trying to get out.  I asked them if he was in "time out" for biting, and they said no, they wre just "seperating him" from the other kids so that he wouldn't bite.  I FLIPPED.

I said that it was absolutely unacceptable for them to keep him seperated from the rest of the kids (he was crying and trying to get out!) for any length of time!  WTF!  I am so upset.  There are only 5 kids in the room and 2 adults!

 I understand that it is hard to deal with this, and that they want to protect the other kids, but I am really upset and don't think this is ok!!!!!  A short time out is one thing, but I do not want him "banished" to some naughty corner! 

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Re: Need input on a daycare issue....(looong)

  • silvahalosilvahalo

    agree.

     

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  • vanillacouragevanillacourage member
    I would ask for a meeting with the director & teachers in his room, to go over a game plan for how you address biting at home and how they will address it at daycare.  I doubt the director will be ok with the teachers' solution of a "naughty corner", although some timeout routine may be in order.

    I don't agree with what they did, but I think you need to "bend" a little in how you handle it, in recognition of the fact that it's obviously a problem that he's biting a lot all of a sudden.  You need to be willing to share with them that you understand it's unacceptable and you're working on the problem at home.
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  • taylor20204taylor20204 member
    No, not acceptable.  I would've flipped too.  Is there someone that you can report the incident too?  I know it's probably difficult because it's at your job.  Good luck, I wouldn't be very pleased.
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  • secuccarosecuccaro
    They should have one of those teachers watch the infants and one watch the toddlers.  So what - he bites occasionally.  A lot of kids do at this age.  And if he does bit another toddler or a teacher, he should be reprimanded.  But I don't think time outs are effective at this age and I certainly don't think that he should have been banished to a corner as a proactive measure. 
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  • radiokateradiokate
    Um, how long do they "seperate" him? They would have to do it all day to accomplish what they think they're doing, which is obviously unacceptable. He obviously needs to be WITH the other kids so they can proactively teach him not to do it. I get a "time out" thing, but not just to keep him away, that would seriously bother me. How long did they say they do this for? They do it every day?
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  • melannhornermelannhorner
    I would report them, its that simple. There was no reason to have him seperated like that and better yet struggling to get out and be with everyone else. Your child did nothing to deserve that treatment and better yet that sort of treatment should not happen one way or the other simply because they do not want to deal with him. That just makes me upset for you just hearing this, as you said, you do not know how long it was going on. That is just cruel to do to a child who does not even understand what is going on around him. My girls bite all the time, due to teething and frustration, but it is my job to make sure that it does not happen and I try to teach them not to do it either. ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, I am sorry that you have to deal with stupid people.
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  • NewlywednOhioNewlywednOhio
    That is completely uncalled for, and I would have yanked my kid out of there. No way should he be treated that way!
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  • CFOCFO

    imagevanillacourage:
    I would ask for a meeting with the director & teachers in his room, to go over a game plan for how you address biting at home and how they will address it at daycare.  I doubt the director will be ok with the teachers' solution of a "naughty corner", although some timeout routine may be in order.

    I don't agree with what they did, but I think you need to "bend" a little in how you handle it, in recognition of the fact that it's obviously a problem that he's biting a lot all of a sudden.  You need to be willing to share with them that you understand it's unacceptable and you're working on the problem at home.

    ITA w/ all of this.

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  • LaLaSweetsLaLaSweets member
    That is unacceptable and i'm glad you flipped on them. I hope everything gets resolved
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  • Lucky_DragonflyLucky_Dragonfly member
    being separated like that for nothing is def unacceptable in my book. yes he needs to learn not to do something but how is he to learn if he is not taught by the person supervising him. DS got bit at school by another child. I don;t know what child did it nor will they disclose that, but DS is still playing with them.
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  • ketamarieketamarie
    That makes me so sad for your little one. Definitely not an okay thing to do. You can't punish a child for something the may or may not do in the future. How confusing to him!  I would have a very serious talk with them or start looking for another daycare. I am sure it is hard enough to deal with the biting issue without having to worry about your son's  basic care. That is borderline cruelty in my opinion. Oh that just makes me so mad!!
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  • annamieannamie

    I do think you need to meet with them.  DD got bit this week and an incident report was taken.  I did not flip out as I understand that this is something that kids do, not out of being mean, but as a way to communicate their feelings.  This being said, I would not agree if the center barricaded the little girl for her biting. 

    Time out is one thing, baby jail is another.

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