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Multiples
Caring for twins alone
A post below got me thinking and I usually have help with my LO's. My DH works nights for three weeks a month so I usually have either my mom or MIL over at night to help me put them to bed. But after reading the responses to the post, it seems some of you do it alone a lot. I probably dont give myself a lot of credit bc I really dont think I could do it alone. But I also know my mom and MIL like coming over because then they get to spend time with them. So I guess it is a win win situation. But now that they are getting older, I should be able to take care of them at night by myself. What do you all think?
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Re: Caring for twins alone
I personally think if someone is offering help I would take it. My family is 28 hours away and I would kill to have my parents here. Right now I am taking care of the girls during the day by myself while dh is at work and then he helps at night when he gets home. I also try to get up with the girls by myself since he has to go to work and I stay home but if they are both crying at the same time I will go in and wake him and he will come help. I think you have to do what is best for you and your family and if that means accepting help then do it.
Jen
Help is nice, but you might want to start doing more and more alone. My friend had help for months and months and then she didnt want it anymore and the first night alone, she was so overwhlemed. She had gotten so comfortable with the family around that she felt lost when they werent there. She had no confidence in herself as a parent because she never parented without help.
I do about 80% of everything solo. You just learn to do it. Now when my DH tried to help, it just slows me down
If you have the help, then definitely use it. But you'd be surprised at what you can do alone. I used to think I could never do XY or Z by myself, and then I had to. And it gets done! You figure out the best way to make things happen and it becomes a routine.
If you have somebody willing to come and help, take it. I don't care how old they are. I do it on my own because I have no choice (DH is military and our closest family is 14 hours a way and he is on the road 90% of the time). There is nothing wrong with accepting help from family and friends, it is wonderful that you have such a great support system. We that do it alone are not some kind of wonderMOM's. I am sure that any of us would tell you that if we had the help we would take it at any moment. At least that is my $.02
i don't have them by myself often at night- DH is usually home at night.
Night time isn't the hard time for me- it's when we first wake up - that's when things are the most busy b/c it's dealing with all 3 kids + the dogs, food, etc.
When DH traveled to France last month my mom came and stayed overnight both nights- just to be there to help in the am. other than that I was fine on my own.
If you like the help and they like helping you- by all means, keep it up! I'm not a fan of having other people in my house if I don't need them there- and my family is busy, too, so I try to only ask for help when its REALLY needed.
when i was pg, i posted here and asked "do i need help?" i got feedback that many MOMs do it alone. i almost wish i didn't ask... everyone's different.
are you recovering from bedrest, c-sect? are you a first time mommy? do you have support during the day so that you can rest up for difficult nights alone? are you breastfeeding and/or pumping? what is your nightly routine? are the babies sleeping well at night? all these things play into how difficult it can be.
for me, our girls have a bath every night and then bottle and then comforting and then to bed. and i can't imagine doing that alone at 4 months... but as they get older maybe it will be possible. i know that in the last month things have started to settle into more of a routine... for us.
i say, enjoy the bonding with family, and do it as long as it feels right for you
if you're feeling adventurous maybe give it a try one night just to see how it goes....
I think you have to do what works for you. If that's help every night, so be it. For me, I'm not a first time mom, and I now have 4 under 4. For me, adding the twins into our life was easier than adding #2. All my kids are fairly easy kids, and I'm a very laid back parent. DH works basically 7a-11p, both for himself (electrician) and at his FT job, M-F, and at least 8 hrs for himself on Sat/Sun. So, I'm alone ALL the time, other than overnights, but he doesn't really help then because he's so wore out from working all the time. I think I manage just fine on my own. We still get to Target/grocery at least 1x/week....people are amazed that I do that, but I'd go crazy at home....and you just do what you need to do. Occasionally the older two will go to the grandparents' homes for a couple days, and I get to rest a bit, which is nice.
I think it's more of an adjustment becoming a first-time mom than it is having twins....so by all means, take the help. The babies need you to be happy and rested and YOU need to enjoy these early months - they grow up all too soon!