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How would you interpret this?

mommanursemommanurse
in Blended Families

I rarely post here but I have a question about the wording on some court docs.  DH took BM to court a couple years ago to have more visitation with his kids.  He got vacation time, extra time at Spring Break and more holiday time. 

This year we get Christmas and she gets Thanksgiving.  This is how the Thanksgiving holiday is worded-Wed at 6pm to Sunday at 8pm.  BM gets the odd years and DH gets the even years.  Last year we had the kids for Thanksgiving and she gets them this year.  The kids get the entire week of Thanksgiving off.  She is trying to say she gets them the entire week and DH gets nothing.  

Last year BM had the kids from Friday when they got out of school to Wednesday night before Thanksgiving.  She tried to get us to let her keep them until Thanksgiving day but DH told her no.  We didn't want to deviate from the paperwork and we were afraid she'd drop off the kids late or feed them.  

 So how do you ladies interpret Thanksgiving?  I think one parent should get the first part of the week and one parent should get the second part.  Thanksgiving and Spring Break are vague since the courts didn't realize how much time off from school the kids get.

 Wow, sorry so long!!

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Re: How would you interpret this?

  • DaringMissDaringMiss member

    I would interpret this to mean that the court order only covers the Wednesday through Sunday days of the Thanksgiving holiday.  I don't think the order deals with the earlier part of the week.  

    I assume that the lawyers were not anticipating a week long vacation from school when they drafted this document.

    Unless you want to go back to court to change it, I would try to negotiate with the BM that the parent that does NOT have T-day that year gets them for the days proceeding the Wednesday 6pm dropoff.  It seems fair, but it doesn't sound like you BM is interested in fair. 

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  • PhantomgirlPhantomgirl member
    I can't answer this without knowing what his normal week to week visitation is.  I feel that the CO does not alter the first part of the week so if he is not scheduled to have them any of those days he does not get them KWIM?
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  • taagenttaagent member
    I agree with pp, it only covers wed 6pm to Sunday and makes no mention of the rest of the week.  Who has the kiddo depends on what the normal visitation schedule is like - unless you can work something different out.
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  • J&A2008J&A2008 member
    Oh, that stinks, but I agree with pp's. 
    Stay at home mom to a house of boys: two amazing stepsons, 12 and 9, and our 4 year old.
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  • fellesferiefellesferie member

    I would interpret it to mean that to mean that on the years when each parent has Thanksgiving, the child is ordered to be with the parent a minimum of those days. Like, if she gets this Thanksgiving, then to abide by the CO, the kids must be with her from Wednesday at 6pm until Sunday at 8pm unless she gives up some of that time.

    I get what you're saying about how it makes sense to specifically split the time, but I think that most COs are nonspecific about extra time around the holidays. 

    Maybe your H could find a nice way of reminding BM that flexibility is a two-way street, and that there will be times when she will want him to be flexible, too. 

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  • luckyangelluckyangel member

    She gets exactly what the paperwork says...from Wed @ 6pm to Sun @ 8 pm.  If she wants more than that you guys either have to agree on it or she has to petition the court for extra time.

    If she shows up early or when she isn't supposed to, all you would have to do is call the cops and show them the court order and they would send her home and tell her to come back on Wed at 6. GL

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  • J+RJ+R

    Thanksgiving is ONE day...  Thats why it is called Thanksgiving Day, not Thanksgiving Week. 

    I would take the CO exactly how it is written... BM gets the children Wednesday at 6PM until Sunday at 8PM.  From what you write it doesnt sound like it says anything other than that.  Now if Thanksgiving fell on a Weds. then I could see her being upset - but it doesn't, and it never will. 

    If you start going and changing the CO (without doing it legally) BM will always expect this.  I would stick to the CO. 

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  • mommanursemommanurse

    Thanks for the replies.  Basically, she's not letting him have the kids for any of the Thanksgiving break.  Yes, if you read the court papers, it doesn't address the days off before Thanksgiving because the courts didn't realize the kids have the entire week off.  Just stinks because she won't budge. 

    She makes me crazy sometimes.  She's always saying to DH that he never thinks of the kids but yet not letting the kids see their dad for a few days before Thanksgiving is thinking of the kids?  Sigh...

     Guess we'll be celebrating the weekend of December 4th.  

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  • paris.inthe.springparis.inthe.spring
    Would she normally have the kids then if it was not a holiday-the begining of the week that is?
    If so, then that is her time. If not, then it is yours.
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  • mommanursemommanurse

    imageparis.inthe.spring:
    Would she normally have the kids then if it was not a holiday-the begining of the week that is?
    If so, then that is her time. If not, then it is yours.

    We get the kids EOW, so yes she would normally have the kids.  We thought BM might actually realize that it would be a good thing for the kids to have the first part of the week with their dad.

    We are having issues with Spring Break as well since they get 2 weeks off and not 1.  The CO only addresses Spring Break as 1 week.  He is probably going to have to take her back to court since they have been arguing over these 2 holidays.

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  • J&A2008J&A2008 member
    imagemommanurse:

    He is probably going to have to take her back to court since they have been arguing over these 2 holidays.

    Good.  This is what I was thinking.  Your H needs to get a copy of the school schedule to his attorney so the court can get it straight.

    Stay at home mom to a house of boys: two amazing stepsons, 12 and 9, and our 4 year old.
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  • Ginlyn0Ginlyn0 member

    Like PP have said, she gets them since she normally would have them and the CO only goes for the end of the week. In our COs for my DD and DH's kids, the CO covers the whole week so whoever has Thanksgiving gets them the whole time they are out of school. It actually says from the day school lets out a 6pm until the day before school resumes at 6pm.

     

    DD(14),SD(13),SS(11),SS(9),DS(3)

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  • jen5-03jen5-03 member
    I agree with the others... unless there's anything else in the CO about school holidays in general and not just thanksgiving/christmas/spring break specifically. If not, maybe you want to include something about those days when they renegotiate so you could have the kids on a teacher inservice day/MLK day/whatever other holidays the school gives if you wanted to.
    - Jena
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