This whole being seperated from H thing sucks.

Crissyjo30 · November 2009

Not because I miss him, but I am just mourning the fact that the life I had envisioned for DD - Mom and Dad at dinner every night, siblings, Mom being the room Mom at school, etc (basically everything I didnt have) might not be a reality. I feel like I am failing her.

I keep trying to tell myself that the payoff - having a happy Mommy and no fighting everyday - is worth the sacrifice. But its hard. I'm feeling really overwhelmed right now.

Ravings Rabbids · November 2009

I'm so sorry. Hugs to you.

Gina418 · November 2009

(((hugs)))

I'm sorry - I have to imagine the first few days/weeks are hard - but soon you'll get into a new routine.

I wish you the best of luck and hope you find happiness soon!

HisWifeHerMom · November 2009

I am really sorry for what you are going through. It sucks when things don't turn out the way we expected or hoped for. I think you would find that you really aren't alone. I think alot of people feel that way about their life, marriage, etc. And most just don't talk about it. Try to feel good about the fact that you are trying your best to raise your DD in a healthy, happy environment and in the end, she will love and respect you for it, even if it doesn't feel that way right now. *Hugs*

anardi · November 2009

Hugs to you! I am sure it is very hard on you, but hopefully soon you will find happiness again.

Califlorida · November 2009

i'm sorry, hon. don't give up hope. i don't think our lives are ever set in stone no matter how much we plan.

i don't know if this helps or is a big who cares... but my mom remarried my dad when she had two kids age 3 and 4. then they had me and my little sister and they've been together ever since. you just never know what life has in store... (((hugs)))

GeoffreytheGiraffe · November 2009

Not to get all Dr. Phil, but there is one thing he says that makes sense...

"Kids would rather be FROM a broken home than IN one." Makes a lot of sense to me. And there is no reason you can't be the room mom, have dinner with your daughter at night, and someday find a fulfilling relationship. Good luck!

MsLindseyLou · November 2009

You may be mourning the loss of what could've happened, but would it really happen with him? I mean, you wouldn't be happy, you wouldn't have more children with someone who didn't make you happy...you'd be living in unhappiness....

You have a better chance to do that now than you did with him. You can always find a new love, someone better, someone that will let you do those things.

I'm not going to say I'm sorry, because it sounds like you are better off. Hugs to you, for being so strong and realizing what needed to happen, you are better off for being strong and making the decision to leave. So many woman think they can't because they need the man, but if you have that strength, you are a better mom because of it.

KKM · November 2009

GeoffreytheGiraffe:

Not to get all Dr. Phil, but there is one thing he says that makes sense...

"Kids would rather be FROM a broken home than IN one." Makes a lot of sense to me. And there is no reason you can't be the room mom, have dinner with your daughter at night, and someday find a fulfilling relationship. Good luck!

exactly.

mrsdiamonds · November 2009

You never know what the future may hold. And you are doing the best for your DD. That is all anyone can ask of you. Hugs and best wishes

avonbride · November 2009

Sorry sweetie. <Hugs>

On an unrelated note, I forgot to answer your post a few days ago about your BIL's present. I was going to suggest tix to a sporting event for one of his teams.

Echowysp · November 2009

Take it from someone raised in a home with constant fights, I would've given up dinners together and all that jazz for a peaceful home. Fighting parents ruin a child. You did her a favor. :::hugs:::

Jessibell · November 2009

I don't know the backstory, but I'm really sorry. For some reason I was under the impression that ya'll were doing well.

I agree with PPs, but is there no chance for an eventual reconciliation?

azzyberry · November 2009

I'm really sorry you have to go through this but truly it is the best thing you could do for you and your daughter. I know it's very scary and overwhelming at first but you will get through this and you will be a better/stronger person and mother because of it. I know this isn't how you envisioned things for your daughter or for yourself but staying in an unhappy marriage isn't good for either one of you.

You deserve to be happy too. I wish you the best of luck and happiness.

juietbride · November 2009

(((Hugs))) I am so sorry you are going through this, but it sounds like you are making a decision to better your self and your family.

libby73 · November 2009

Echowysp:
Take it from someone raised in a home with constant fights, I would've given up dinners together and all that jazz for a peaceful home. Fighting parents ruin a child. You did her a favor. :::hugs:::

I agree 100%. I am so thankful that my mom left before the arguments turned into anything worse! The one thing you both have to make sure you do is to NOT bash one another in front of dd in the future, this is what really affects kids negatively. My step mom and dad got divorced when my little brother was 4 and my step mother and her family were so negative with all their talk about my dad (who I agree is NO angel) that my brother has never really respected or cared for my dad.

weebaby · November 2009

i am so sorry

email me.... weebride@gmail.com

Sobachka · November 2009

I am NOT sorry, I am so happy for you!

Here is a picture for you to keep in mind:

Mom and step dad at a dinner table, Mom and dad taking turns having fun weekends with DD, Mom and stepsisters and stepbrothers celebrating holidays together.

Who says life is over and you cannot fulfil your dreams? you are just getting closer to it because now you can meet the man of your dreams.

Other than this pep talk, separation and divorce suck and are very hard for everyone.

LoriFalce · November 2009

Giving your daughter the gift of a happy home instead of one where she doesn't know what will happen from one day to the next because the two most important people in her life are unhappy...that's an incredible thing.

You aren't taking those things away from her. You are giving her the opportunity to know happiness and confidence right from the start. You are showing her that life is too short to not stand up for yourself, and that sometimes putting your needs first is the best way to help your family.

Daisy77 · November 2009

GeoffreytheGiraffe:
Not to get all Dr. Phil, but there is one thing he says that makes sense...

"Kids would rather be FROM a broken home than IN one." Makes a lot of sense to me. And there is no reason you can't be the room mom, have dinner with your daughter at night, and someday find a fulfilling relationship. Good luck!

This. This is the very reason I left my ex. DD#1 was already picking up on the problems we had and there was no way I could continue to be miserable and have her be a part of that. Some couples stay together for the kids, I left for mine. She was almost 6 when I/we (her and I) left. She primarily lives with us and sees her dad on the weekends. It sucked in the beginning, but it got better. So much better.

Good luck!