2nd Trimester

Regretting this... (kinda longish)

DH and I have been tight on money lately (since like Sept) - we've just had car issues, medical bills, etc. I've been ok with it, knowing it will balance out in December. I just have sacrificed my mani/pedis, etc. Not that hard. DH has been really upset by it, and on a mission to save money. His answer? 

Canceling our Blackberrys (Blackberries? Since its a product name I'm not sure how it is pluralized), and canceling the cable/internet package. Cool, that would save 100 a month, and put us in the dark ages.

I told him not a chance in H3LL, and since all the bills are in my name, he can get over it. His response? "Well, if you had a REAL JOB, this wouldn't be a problem."

Uh... I HAVE a "real job." Last time I checked, I clocked in, got paid, and pay my taxes. Who cares that I work in a restaurant? I make pretty good money doing what I do (Oh, and I do it by CHOICE... I actually love working in restaurants).

So, I decided to "stick it to him" and manipulated my schedule into me working 20 days straight without a day off. To prove I can make as much money a paycheck as he does. 

My mission will be accomplished, but I don't get a day off until Thanksgiving. And I'm tired already lol.

On the bright side, he has told me I shouldn't have done that, that he would make sure the house stays clean, and that he is so proud of me, he knows how hard it is on me, he knows how hard I work around the house, etc. Guess the guilt has hit him already, and I'm only 3 days in! :)

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Re: Regretting this... (kinda longish)

  • Oh my GAHD!  Be careful and don't over-do it.... you're nuts!!! :P

    Pay careful attention to your body and how it's handling that much work!

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  • Interesting revenge... Since my hubby has been out of work, we cancelled cable and internet and have kept our BlackBerrys. We just do our internet surfing from our phones, which is fine by me since that's what I usually do anyway. And working in a restaurant IS a real job, and REAL work.
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  • O_O You are a brave woman. Lol.

    To be honest... I have felt like this before. I was carrying the load and Bun wasn't working at all. But fighting about money sucks, and doing something about it instead is better. Besides, with all that extra dough you will feel AWESOME! Just make sure you are getting lots of fluids and rest in your downtime!!

    And, you guys wouldn't have outrageous early termination fees?! Lucky.

     

  • K I will be honest with you. I would give up the blackberry's and cable. Dh and I didn't have cable for almost two years it's really not that bad especially once you get used to it you don't even miss it. Also I would personally downgrade on the phone. I honestly don't understand the need to have everything under the sun on my phone. JMO.

    Either way like pp said don't overdue it! Just be careful!

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  • imagenannyannie:

    O_O You are a brave woman. Lol.

    To be honest... I have felt like this before. I was carrying the load and Bun wasn't working at all. But fighting about money sucks, and doing something about it instead is better. Besides, with all that extra dough you will feel AWESOME! Just make sure you are getting lots of fluids and rest in your downtime!!

    And, you guys wouldn't have outrageous early termination fees?! Lucky.

     

    OF COURSE we would have insane termination fees. Which I pointed out. But its all "po-tay-to/poh-tah-to" to him. He thinks it will save in the long run. He forgets that in 3 weeks we will be totally fine. HAHA.

    Oh well, its a good thing I am totally stubborn. AND, since we are going on our "babymoon" in Dec, I am squirreling away the money to play with! :)

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  • Working at a restaurant is harder than sitting at a desk...from someone that has done both.  Go easy on yourself girl!
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  • I would cancel the cable for sure but keep the phones...do you have a land line at home too? I would cancel that.

    Is it possible that either of you can car pool to work or bike or something?

    On the Money Matters board on the Nest there are a lot of helpful women that can look at your budget and tell you some suggestions...you just have to post where ALL your money goes. You can do it here too, but if you were shy in front of us there is always that board. Me and DH like to look at finances and we like to talk about money....I posted on the MM board for months before I got pregnant.

  • imageanabell0920:

    K I will be honest with you. I would give up the blackberry's and cable. Dh and I didn't have cable for almost two years it's really not that bad especially once you get used to it you don't even miss it. Also I would personally downgrade on the phone. I honestly don't understand the need to have everything under the sun on my phone. JMO.

    Either way like pp said don't overdue it! Just be careful!

    There probably would be huge cancellation fees though. I agree about the cable, you don't really miss it after a while. Also OP, I think cancelling cable, internet and cell phones would save the two of you way more than 100 bucks a month, unless you guys have some kind of rocking deal. Not that it matters or anything, just being a brat I guess.
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  • imagesleepingbeauty825:
    imageanabell0920:

    K I will be honest with you. I would give up the blackberry's and cable. Dh and I didn't have cable for almost two years it's really not that bad especially once you get used to it you don't even miss it. Also I would personally downgrade on the phone. I honestly don't understand the need to have everything under the sun on my phone. JMO.

    Either way like pp said don't overdue it! Just be careful!

    There probably would be huge cancellation fees though. I agree about the cable, you don't really miss it after a while. Also OP, I think cancelling cable, internet and cell phones would save the two of you way more than 100 bucks a month, unless you guys have some kind of rocking deal. Not that it matters or anything, just being a brat I guess.

    Yah I didn't think of the cancellation fee's.  Just going off of when we didn't have cable and had simple phones I know we saved a lot.

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  • imageanabell0920:

    K I will be honest with you. I would give up the blackberry's and cable. Dh and I didn't have cable for almost two years it's really not that bad especially once you get used to it you don't even miss it. Also I would personally downgrade on the phone. I honestly don't understand the need to have everything under the sun on my phone. JMO.

    Either way like pp said don't overdue it! Just be careful!

    I don't necessarily care about the cable. We need the internet (he does online college). And as long as I have a cell, I don't care (we don't have a house line)... but like Nanny said, its all about the termination fees. They are each 175... so that would be paying 300 to cancel something that we won't have any issue paying in 3 weeks. We aren't destitute now, we just don't have money to go out and spend on silly stuff right now (his bar-hopping, my Border's obsession, etc). Like I said, Dec 1st we will break even and be fine.

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  • imageErin0922:
    imageanabell0920:

    K I will be honest with you. I would give up the blackberry's and cable. Dh and I didn't have cable for almost two years it's really not that bad especially once you get used to it you don't even miss it. Also I would personally downgrade on the phone. I honestly don't understand the need to have everything under the sun on my phone. JMO.

    Either way like pp said don't overdue it! Just be careful!

    I don't necessarily care about the cable. We need the internet (he does online college). And as long as I have a cell, I don't care (we don't have a house line)... but like Nanny said, its all about the termination fees. They are each 175... so that would be paying 300 to cancel something that we won't have any issue paying in 3 weeks. We aren't destitute now, we just don't have money to go out and spend on silly stuff right now (his bar-hopping, my Border's obsession, etc). Like I said, Dec 1st we will break even and be fine.

    I wasn't thinking about the cancellation fees. We did have internet and would watch stuff online. I understand not wanting to pay 300 bucks for those though. 

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  • imagesleepingbeauty825:
    imageanabell0920:

    K I will be honest with you. I would give up the blackberry's and cable. Dh and I didn't have cable for almost two years it's really not that bad especially once you get used to it you don't even miss it. Also I would personally downgrade on the phone. I honestly don't understand the need to have everything under the sun on my phone. JMO.

    Either way like pp said don't overdue it! Just be careful!

    There probably would be huge cancellation fees though. I agree about the cable, you don't really miss it after a while. Also OP, I think cancelling cable, internet and cell phones would save the two of you way more than 100 bucks a month, unless you guys have some kind of rocking deal. Not that it matters or anything, just being a brat I guess.

    Well, lol, he wants to cancel the Blackberry part... not the whole cell bill. Each BB has a $25/month fee for the 'net. And our cable/net package is 70/month. So we'd save 120.

    Personally I'd rather sell one of our THREE cars (hello!) but that would make too much sense.

    Again though, I'm realllllly not worried about the money. This was more of a response to his telling me I don't have a real job, then anything else.  

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  • imageErin0922:

    Again though, I'm realllllly not worried about the money. This was more of a response to his telling me I don't have a real job, then anything else.  

    Yeah, that would REALLY piss me off. Seriously. You probably work your ass off at that restaurant. It is not fair to say it's not a real job.

    I'd like to see Bun get away with that... I'd knock him out. But of course, I tend to be on the violent side. Your way is a lot less likely to get the cops called in. :P

    *Please don't think I'm a husband-beater. I know domestic violence is no joke. I am just crass and trashy. Thanks.*

  • Lady you are brave, I don't know how you do it working at a restaurant, I work 12 hour shifts in an office and i'm sitting most of the time and I complain about that but not anymore.

    You were right in not canceling the phone service you would end up paying to cancel it and that's more money you would spend. Since you said your going to be good by December hubby is probably just being a worry wart.

    We just sold one of our cars and that put an extra 4000 in our savings for emergencies, maybe  you can try to convince him to do that, it won't cost you any extra fees and that would be one less thing on your insurance. 

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  • imageErin0922:
    imagesleepingbeauty825:
    imageanabell0920:

    K I will be honest with you. I would give up the blackberry's and cable. Dh and I didn't have cable for almost two years it's really not that bad especially once you get used to it you don't even miss it. Also I would personally downgrade on the phone. I honestly don't understand the need to have everything under the sun on my phone. JMO.

    Either way like pp said don't overdue it! Just be careful!

    There probably would be huge cancellation fees though. I agree about the cable, you don't really miss it after a while. Also OP, I think cancelling cable, internet and cell phones would save the two of you way more than 100 bucks a month, unless you guys have some kind of rocking deal. Not that it matters or anything, just being a brat I guess.

    Well, lol, he wants to cancel the Blackberry part... not the whole cell bill. Each BB has a $25/month fee for the 'net. And our cable/net package is 70/month. So we'd save 120.

    Personally I'd rather sell one of our THREE cars (hello!) but that would make too much sense.

    Again though, I'm realllllly not worried about the money. This was more of a response to his telling me I don't have a real job, then anything else.  

    Definitely selling an unused car seems smarter. And for sure, I'd be mad too if my hubby insinuated anything like that. You're lucky to not have to stress about $ too much, I wish I could say the same!
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  • Wow. I SO would not have done that- it's a really immature response.  We've had rough times to and we had to give up some things we both really enjoyed...we survived.
  • I hope the next 17 days are easy on you..good luck hun!
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  • imageMrsRebecca:
    Wow. I SO would not have done that- it's a really immature response.  We've had rough times to and we had to give up some things we both really enjoyed...we survived.

     

    ditto.

     My HS students do things like this all the time. They try to get "revenge" on teachers and "show us" by doing things that hurt themselves. It always makes me roll my eyes.

    And seriously, giving up BBs would not have been the end of the world. I gave up my smart phone. I survivied.

  • Be careful! I worked 12 days straight and was so tired and cranky by the end and my job is mostly sit down!
  • imageanabell0920:

    K I will be honest with you. I would give up the blackberry's and cable. Dh and I didn't have cable for almost two years it's really not that bad especially once you get used to it you don't even miss it. Also I would personally downgrade on the phone. I honestly don't understand the need to have everything under the sun on my phone. JMO.

    Either way like pp said don't overdue it! Just be careful!

    This

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  • You don't have to cancel it outright but you could downgrade. I don't carry a Smartphone, and DH and I spend less than $60 a month on a shared cell phone plan. Check out your cable plan, if you can cut out a DVR or HD channels, then you are saving money there. You won't pay cancellation fees, but you don't lose everything completely. And when the time comes that you have the money again, you can just upgrade everything back. It seems like both of you need to sit down with the budget and be honest about where things could be cut out, sold, etc. A third car seems really unnecessary and I'm sure you're paying insurance on it, etc.
  • Good Grief!  I know I would be a miserable beast if I worked 20 days in a row.  This falls into the "cutting off your nose to spite your face" category!  GL, girl!  Stay healthy and take care of yourself.
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  • My reaction completely depends on your definition of "tight on money".

    If you're struggling to make your rent/house payment and paying your utlilites, then I can't belive you wouldn't downsize your phones and cancel your cable.  Those are not necessities, but having food and shelter is.

  • Your DH sounds like my DH.  I worked as a server for two years - my last year of school and my first year out of school. I searched high and low for another job, but nothing came up.  Sometimes the money came in, sometimes it wasn't fabulous.  And I always had animosity directed my way from DH.  He even told me to get a "real job" on many occasions.

    Once I got pregnant, I also found myself a full time desk job.  I am still working at a restaurant (only two nights a week, and I am just about to start hostessing instead, but I am still working), and I have just picked up a job to do some web designing on the side.  This is THREE jobs.  I also choose to do some volunteer work.

    DH, although still making more than I do, only works from 8:30 to 4:30, although he has the priveledge to get there late and leave early.  He is working hard to do extra at work to possibly help him find a better job, but he is only working one job.

    We also have a budget that we stick to pretty closely.  A few weeks ago, I had to buy some more maternity clothes.  This was the same week I picked up the web design job, so I knew we had some more money coming in.  I spent more money than we had budgeted for, and DH was fuming!  I mentioned that I am currently working three jobs (while being pregnant), and I think I deserve to use some of that money.  And do you know what he said?  He told me that I had only worked "part time" at my waitressing job for a year, and we were still digging ourselves out of that whole.

    Ugh - anyway.  I hear your pain.  We're working things out! :)  Take care of yourself and don't overwork yourself!

    Mom to Cameron, born March 6, 2010
    BFP December 27, 2010, MC January 2, 2011
    BFP March 17, 2011, MC April 7, 2011
    BFP August 22, 2011, EDD April 21, 2012
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  • How is your work allowing this? Aren't they going to have to pay you a lot of overtime?
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