Dealing with lots and lots of visitors...

Re: Dealing with lots and lots of visitors...

• MoMandA

  November 2009

  I had an unplanned c-section and was in the hospital way longer than I expected. I didn't mind having visitors there, especially since nurses were awesome about throwing people out. You are never alone in the hospital for more than 40 min anyway b/c of all of the nurses, so guests won't seem so intrusive.

  For me, when I got home I wanted to be alone. Two of my SILs came over less than two hours after we got home and they brought their kids. I still feel upset thinking about it and I love my SILs. That visit was the worst. I wanted to crawl in bed with my babies and sleep and cry but I could not because I had guests.
  

  I HATED visitors at home during the first weeks. I was having a hard time BFing and needed to have my entire shirt off to feed them. I was never modest before but I didn't want people looking at my deflated belly. I was going up and down steps multiple times so I could feed the babies in private. It was horrible. If i had encouraged visitors in the hospital it would have probably reduced the annoying visits once we got home.
  

  

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• robinsokj member

  November 2009

  Many hospitals arent allowing visitors other than immediate family (without children) because of h1n1 risks.  You might want to check into that.
  

  Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml

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• Temp159135562506975 member

  November 2009

  we flat out told everyone we did not want anyone but immediate family visiting in the hospital.... I was recovering from my c/s, trying to learn to nurse, etc - the last place I'd want tons of people visiting.

  we emailed everyone once we were home and asked that they call before visiting so we didn't have too many people at once.

  nobody had a problem with it.

  this is NOT the time to "be nice" and worry about other people's feelings - it's all about you and your babies now - do what works for you.

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• luvmagoldn

  November 2009

  Definitely check with your hospital.  My SIL delivered a couple of weeks ago and only her spouse was allowed at the hospital.  No other visitors - not even her other children were allowed in the front door.

  Her baby was in the NICU for a week b/c of lung issues and even though they are home now, we still haven't seen the baby.  They are limiting visitors because of flu season.  So, you can find a way to manage the visitors - blame it on flu season if you must! 

  

  My twins are 5! My baby is 3!

  DS#2 - Allergic to Cashew, Pistachio, Kiwi

  DS#3 - Allergic to Milk, Egg, Peanut, Tree Nuts and Sesame

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• mlgd

  November 2009

  During my first pregnancy I thought I was going to like to having visitors come see us during our hospital stay. The reality was that I ended up feeling so tired and overwhelmed with nurses/doctors/lactation consultants coming in at all hours -- I just really wanted to be left alone with DH and DS.  Our immediate family came to visit, but I told everyone else that called and wanted to come by that I'd love to see them *when we got home.*  I think it's totally acceptable and reasonable for you to decide when you want to see people -- just play it by ear and make that decision after delivery. Good luck!

  

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• Temp6313048411121614 member

  November 2009

  So far, my plan is to cram everyone into the hospital in one day (that way it can be over and done with instead of a stream of people for weeks after).  After I had DS, we had a few visitors in the hospital, but not everyone, so we had people at our house constantly at first.  Nobody will be allowed (other than DS and our parents) the first day, and depending on what time they're born, maybe not the 2nd day.  If you don't want visitors, just tell them that the policy's changed due to H1N1.
  

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• irish1114

  November 2009

  I had a complete meltdown one day at the hospital..it was terrible!  I had a ton of complications from my c-section, and after the babies were born I blew up from retaining so much water that I looked awful.  Somehow my cousin, his wife & his 2 kids got into see me before visiting hours started so I wasn't expecting that.

  Then all my inlaws came & I just broke down crying..but in the mean time, my good friend came & I was totally okay with seeing her, because it was just her, not 5 or 6 people.

  Guess, what I'm trying to say is, see how you feel 1st (turns out I had severe PPD) and take it from there!

  Good luck!

  
  
  

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• Rinnie

  November 2009

  I have to say I agree with a PP about hating having vistor's at home.

  I much prefered them in the hospital. 

  I didn't have to be a hostess in the hospital and worry if people needed something to eat or drink.  I didn't really have to clean up the room before or after people left.  It's a hospital and they pay people to do that daily for you.

  I had vistor's day and night at the hospital.  I even had 1 friend who was scheduled to be induce stop by and hang out and wait for the call to go down to L&D.  She was there at least 2 or so hours.  I enjoyed it.

  Of course this was our 2nd time and I had DH go to work so that when we came from the hospital I had 2 weeks of help and didn't waste a week while I was in the hospital.  He came at night and he was able to bond with the boys. 

  With all the vistor's I still had plenty of me time and I was able to bond with the babies.

  I did have 1 friend who was telling people not to come up and visit that I needed all the rest I could get yet.  When they would call I would flat out tell them if you want to come - come on up.  I am not able to nap during the day so it was nice.

  But that is me - everyone is different and if you don't want people to come up when they call just tell them your not up to them right now and that you will call them from home when you are ready.

  Good Luck with what ever you do!

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• CaliJenny

  November 2009

  The day they were born via c-section we said we'd call everyone and let them know whne it was ok to come.  I ended up having a hard time coming out of it and didn't feel "ok" until 8 pm.  So no one came that night. 

  We told IL's and my parents to tell people to call first before they showed up because we were overwhelmed.  This took care of everything.  The only people who came were the one's we ourselves called specifically and told to come. 

  Don't stress too much about it, it has a way of working itself out.  You always have the nurses who will be the mean ones and turn people away on your instruction (which is what they get for not calling first!!).

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• shellshavintwins

  November 2009

  Here in Broome County, NY  they have restricted the visitors in the hospitals to 2 people only at a time and no one under the age of 18. While it may be difficult on other people I was relieved. My biggest concern is that I go to a church, and they are already trying to come visit me & bring me food.(I'm 34 weeks and on modified BR)  I have no intentions of allowing anyone other then family and a few of the girls I am closest to come visit until FLU/RSV season is over. No one seems to understand why we'd want to stay away from them. I never thought I would ever have to think about these things.

  <a href="http://s73.photobucket.com/albums/i208/shelltodd219/?action=view

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