I think I'm done with BF'ing and pumping.

GreenEyedGal · November 2009

I'm prepared to get flamed, just so you know, but I'm pretty much done with pumping and breastfeeding. At first, he was a great latcher but that has gone downhill. Breastfeeding is truly a nightmare. It just ends up with both of us crying and frustrated. So pumping is a good solution, right? Not so much. Today was my first expierence with a clogged duct and it wasn't pretty. The minute I felt those horrible lumps, I broke down and cried. It hurt so bad and it was scary, I didn't know what to do. I hadn't pumped all day so of course, it was a clogged duct. I pumped and massaged and the lumps dissapeared and I got the most milk I've gotten. My poor boobs. Now I'm paranoid about getting that again so here I am, pumping again while my mom gets to rock my baby to sleep. I'm done with this. Done with the milk leakage, done with the crying, done with the time being spent pumping rather than with my son, done with the pain, just done.

Yes, this sounds selfish and it breaks my heart that I didn't succeed but all I want is to look back at my son's newborn days and remember us being happy. At this rate, it looks like this won't happen.

With all of this said, what can I do to dry up my milk? My mom said there is some kind of medicine than can be prescribed to me but I never heard of this.

Meepit · November 2009

(((hugs)))

GypsyEsq · November 2009

GreenEyedGal:
I'm prepared to get flamed, just so you know, but I'm pretty much done with pumping and breastfeeding. At first, he was a great latcher but that has gone downhill. Breastfeeding is truly a nightmare. It just ends up with both of us crying and frustrated. So pumping is a good solution, right? Not so much. Today was my first expierence with a clogged duct and it wasn't pretty. The minute I felt so horrible lumps, I broke down and cried. It hurt so bad and it was scary, I didn't know what to do. I hadn't pumped all day so of course, it was a clogged duct. I pumped and massaged and the lumps dissapeared and I got the most milk I've gotten. My poor boobs. Now I'm paranoid about getting that again so here I am, pumping again while my mom gets to rock my baby to sleep. I'm done with this. Done with the milk leakage, done with the crying, done with the time being spent pumping rather than with my son, done with the pain, just done.

Yes, this sounds selfish and it breaks my heart that I didn't succeed but all I want is to look back at my son's newborn days and remember us being happy. At this rate, it looks like this won't happen.

With all of this said, what can I do to dry up my milk? My mom said there is some kind of medicine than can be prescribed to me but I never heard of this.

No flames Mama. I just read your post on 0-3 re: the lumps. You really can't go all day and not pump, of course it's going to hurt sweetie the pressure will just keep building. I'm sorry you got scared though and that it hurt. There is no longer an Rx for drying you up, that's something that used to be prescribed but is no longer recommended. Here are some resources from Kellymom that discuss weaning from the pump. Good luck.

p.s. I know some Moms have had some success (or unintended consequences) with taking OTC drugs like Benedryl. But that is just anecdotal.

sasa625 · November 2009

Don't feel guilty!! I have a super low supply, and I spent the first month of DD's life frustrated about BFing. I cried about it on a daily basis. I'm still going, but looking back I really wish I had just given up then. It made it hard for me to bond with DD and took a lot of my enjoyment of her away.

Do what makes you happy... that's what's most important for both you and your baby!!

I don't have any advice about drying up (and unfortunately I don't think I'll need much help in that area when I do stop)

GreenEyedGal · November 2009

GypsyEsq:
GreenEyedGal:

I'm prepared to get flamed, just so you know, but I'm pretty much done with pumping and breastfeeding. At first, he was a great latcher but that has gone downhill. Breastfeeding is truly a nightmare. It just ends up with both of us crying and frustrated. So pumping is a good solution, right? Not so much. Today was my first expierence with a clogged duct and it wasn't pretty. The minute I felt so horrible lumps, I broke down and cried. It hurt so bad and it was scary, I didn't know what to do. I hadn't pumped all day so of course, it was a clogged duct. I pumped and massaged and the lumps dissapeared and I got the most milk I've gotten. My poor boobs. Now I'm paranoid about getting that again so here I am, pumping again while my mom gets to rock my baby to sleep. I'm done with this. Done with the milk leakage, done with the crying, done with the time being spent pumping rather than with my son, done with the pain, just done.

Yes, this sounds selfish and it breaks my heart that I didn't succeed but all I want is to look back at my son's newborn days and remember us being happy. At this rate, it looks like this won't happen.

With all of this said, what can I do to dry up my milk? My mom said there is some kind of medicine than can be prescribed to me but I never heard of this.

No flames Mama. I just read your post on 0-3 re: the lumps. You really can't go all day and not pump, of course it's going to hurt sweetie the pressure will just keep building. I'm sorry you got scared though and that it hurt. There is no longer an Rx for drying you up, that's something that used to be prescribed but is no longer recommended. Here are some resources from Kellymom that discuss weaning from the pump. Good luck.

p.s. I know some Moms have had some success (or unintended consequences) with taking OTC drugs like Benedryl. But that is just anecdotal.

Thank you for being so nice. I tried to have him nurse and it ended up nowhere so I had to hand him to my mom while I pump. As I was pumping, I was overhearing my mom singing to my son while feeding him formula and I got so jealous and depressed. I want to do that so badly. And that's when I decided that this is just not for me. I realize he is a little over 2 weeks old and I shouldn't give up so fast but I've made my decision. Again, thank you for your kind words. Now I'm off to check out that link.

MewMew · November 2009

I'm so sorry you feel this way. I know. It's so so so so hard. It's much harder than I ever thought it would be. I want to give up myself. My left nipple hurts like h3ll and I don't even think he is getting enough milk.He always wants to eat. I try to pump so I can at least be able to leave him with dh or my mom to run errends, but I barely get anything at all. I just feel like no on understands me, so I am embarressed to say anything to anyone IRL.

As far as drying you up, I thought ice packs would help. GL

Nicole. · November 2009

No flames at all here. You need to do what's best for you and your baby- and only you can judge that---you're the mommy

I just want to share with you that the first 5 weeks were terrible for me- first it was the latch, then the pain/sore nips, then the scabs, then the achy-ness, engorgement and then a painful 3 week battle with thrush- but then...it clicked! For both of us...he got better, I got more comfortable and it just worked. I was so close to giving up but in the end I'm happy I didn't. Not to pressure you AT ALL...just sharing in case there's a little part of you that is questioning quitting. It might get better.

With that said, I have heard that sudafed is great at drying up your milk, but you may want to research it. Kellymom is also a great resourcee- I'm sure there's info there.

Good luck I hope you don't feel judged or anything by my post- it's not intended that way at all. I TRULY believe you (and all of us) should do what works for us and our babies- whether that's regarding BF'ing, sleeping arrangements, scheduling, etc. You're doing a great job

GypsyEsq · November 2009

It really is super hard. Nothing about it, IMO, comes naturally. I really enjoy the breastfeeding relationship I've built with my DD but it took many weeks and it hurt and was at times very overwhelming. So seriously if you don't enjoy it and you're feeling resentful I personally don't see the point. Motherhood is hard enough ya know? Just be prepared for weaning to be uncomfy too (and probably a little painful) and remember it is a process because you'll need to teach yourself to make less/no milk. And really, I don't think anyone on this board will flame you. We're all supporters here. Hang in there.

ela81 · November 2009

Don't feel bad for one second. I only lasted 6 weeks and that was with no problems (some pain but nothign awful). You did great. IMO there is no right or wrong, you have to do what works for you and your baby. I pretty much stopped for selfish reasons but I son't feel bad, I have a happy, healthy and smart baby! Rember this is all about what works for you and your family. (((HUGS)))

GretchenlovesMichael · November 2009

no flames here - and i think if anyone does flame you they are pretty F-ed up. whether or not you BF your child is no one else's business IMO.

in my experience it is so important to get good help if you want to BF successfully. a good LC is worth her weight in gold. i am so sorry you're having latch problems. that can be so so painful. daphne had a super hard time latching for the first few weeks. but it did eventually get better. still, the pain and frustration that it takes, it's not for everyone and there is nothing wrong with that. (oh and FWIW, i think pumping is wwwwaaaaaaaayyy harder than nursing.) the only piece of advice i've heard that may apply here is not to quit on a bad day. but whatever you decide to do, try to take it easy on yourself. you are doing the best you can for your family and YOU are a part of that family. GL to you mama!

mrspresley · November 2009

I am sorry I just got off the phone with a friend who has an 8 wk old and she was giving me advice on taking care of a newborn, BFing etc and one of the things she said is that no one tells you that BFing hurts like crazy the first few weeks and then all of a sudden it gets better... I agree that it's a very personal decision to BF and if it's not right for you then it's fine and you shouldn't feel judged or guilty for switching to formula...but if you really want to give it a try I would recommend working with a lactation consultant before giving up b/c I have heard that they can make the world of a difference when it comes to BFing. whatever you decide to do, we are here to support you *hugs*

oh and I heard that they will wrap you up really tight when you want your supply to dry up, so I have seen a few women say they wear multiple small sports bras to achieve the same effect...no idea if it works or not but just thought I'd mention it

GreenEyedGal · November 2009

You girls have no idea how much your kind words help me feel better. It's amazing how a bunch of strangers on a message board can help pick up your spirit. Thank you, thank you for your supporting words.

TheShellSeeker · November 2009

No flames from me - you have to do what's right for you! There's nothing wrong with FFing and your child will grow up to be happy and healthy regardless if you BF or FF. Be kind to yourself - I'm sure you are a great mom!

ESTH2000 · November 2009

no flames here..so sorry you are having such a hard tim..bfding is not easy...it is a tough job for some but I agree with Gretchen..try not to quit on a bad day...the begining is the hardest..seek help from a lactation consultant or ask us for guidance in support..the ladies on this baord helped so much when I almost quit like everday and here I am almost 9months later still bfiding...no matter what you decide you are a great mom..oh and I've heard sudafed can help you dry up...GL

desabean · November 2009

Let me just preface this by saying you absolutely need to do what you feel is right for your family. But I will also say--and this is just to offer my perspective--that I definitely wanted to quit at the two week mart and now four months out I'm SO glad I didn't. Breastfeeding was so much harder than I expected it to be and those first few weeks it's non stop and you're the only one who can do it. It was really tempting for me to just quit. Luckily (though at the time I resented it) it was very important to my dh that she be bf'd. It of course was my decision, but that made me stick with it. G definitely does a better job of emptying me out than the pump though. Anyway, like I said- just my experience, I hope whatever you decide goes smoothly for you both!

Christakim · November 2009

No flames, again you have to do what's best for you and your baby.

Gretchen is right though, a good lactation consultant is key. Mine called me everyday for two weeks. She supported me so much and answered any questions. Then I didn't feel so alone. Yah, the pumping part I could've done without. I just loved the bonding of DD and I, that was the best part.

somethingchangd · November 2009

I'm so sorry. Having trouble with bfing on top of all the other new mom craziness is just so hard. Huge hugs to you.

If you know that this is the right decision for you, then by all means quit. Happy mommy = happy baby. But as hard as it is to believe right now, it will get easier. My son wouldn't BF for a month. So I pumped every 3 hours around the clock (and squeezed actually feeding him in there somewhere!). It was so hard - I hated being tied to the pump, tied to my house, never able to sleep because even when he slept I had to pump. But a month in (on my due date, interestingly) he suddenly figured out how to BF and it got so much better. I ditched the pump and even though I now feed him every 2 hours or so, it's quick, it's easy and we both love it. It was a hard fight to get here, but every ounce of heartache was worth it for me in the end.

I don't want to make you feel bad - really you know what works for you. But I did want you to hear that it can get better. I hope your boobies are better soon, regardless of how you decide to proceed. Hugs hugs hugs.

ejgballerina · November 2009

Absolutely no flames. I totally understand what you're going through. It is SO, SO hard. The first 3 weeks I literally spent in tears. I had no idea that something that was supposed to be so 'natural' was anything but. It wasn't until I saw a lactation consultant that things got SO much better! Now, I love BFing and I'd never thought I would say that! You need to decide what is best for you and your baby and do not feel guilty. I've heard Sudafed helps with drying up your supply, but have no experience with it. GL!

dundasgirl · November 2009

I am jumping in here late, but I just wanted to say the two week mark is a hard time in general. With both babies that is when I felt super tired and emotional. For me, week 3 was a turning point with my hormones. I am not saying that you are quitting b/c of hormones or tiredness or anything like that, but I just wanted to say that you will hopefully feel better soon no matter which way you decide to go with the breastfeeding.

I tell all of my friends that breastfeeding is hard in the beginning. I had it easy but I still had scabs on both of my nipples and letdown killed at first. Once I got over that, it was awesome.

I hope you feel better soon! You are doing a great job!

charmcitygirl · November 2009

Just wanted to throw my support behind you this morning. I know how difficult the decision to quit BFing is...I did it at 6 weeks and I was so torn. But you have to do what is right for you. You need to look forward to feeding your baby and have it be a bonding experience, whether you are FFing or BFing.

You need to do what you have to do to make yourself happy. Happy mom with formula is so much better for the baby than a miserable mom with breastmilk.

itsmevkb · November 2009

The decision to stop breastfeeding and pumping was one of the best I've ever made. I felt a huge sense of relief, I wasn't as exhausted, I had more time with my baby and things just were so much easier. So, I say if you feel this is the right decision for you then stop and don't look back. It's not selfish and no-one should make you feel guilty for doing what you feel is right.

When I wanted to dry up my milk I wore a very tight bra and put cabbage leaves in the bra. I know it sounds crazy but if you use cold cabbage leaves it feels good and supposedly there is a chemical in the cabbage that helps to dry things up. The pills are no longer prescribed as they contribut to blood clots. You can keep pumping a little to relieve pressure.

Enza · November 2009

GreenEyedGal:
done with the crying, done with the time being spent pumping rather than with my son .... it breaks my heart that I didn't succeed but all I want is to look back at my son's newborn days and remember us being happy.

This is exactly why I "gave up" as well. Looking back, I feel a little sad that things didn't go as I wanted or planned, but I don't actually regret the decision. It had become a situation where it was either him or me -- take care of him and his needs, or take care of my need to feel like I was doing the right thing ... I chose him.

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