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Spent the night in the ER...

KtB0605KtB0605
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Hi Ladies,

I am a Newbie, in general, and was happy to have joined the bump, but now am more sad than anything. I spent last night in the ER with heavy bleeding, cramping, etc. The OB there guessed I was miscarrying and confirmed her suspicions with an ultrasound. She found a blighted ovum...and let me see the ultrasound where there was indeed only a sac, with no baby inside. I would only be 5 weeks and 2 days today..so I almost feel silly mourning because I was so early along...but I can't help but be devastated. This wasn't a planned pregnancy, but I was still so, so excited for a baby, as was DBF. I feel horrible because I told so many people, and had so many ideas for names, nursery decor, birthing options, and all that fun stuff.

Has anyone experienced a blighted ovum? From what I am reading, and from what the ER OB told me she said that basically the fetus never started to develop, even though the embryo implanted in the uterus. Also, should I feel guilty for being so upset about this? I know there are so many ladies that miscarry farther into their pregnancies, and I almost feel silly mourning something that wasn't "really" there...if that makes sense.

Any replies are appreciated. I guess I just want to know that someone has been in this boat, but has gotten through it...it's hard because this all seemed to happen so, so fast.  

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Re: Spent the night in the ER...

  • 3ltlones3ltlones member
    you should  never feel guilty for loving a baby that you were carrying. It doesn't mean  anything except that you are a great Mom.  I am  so sorry for your loss. Your OB is right that is what it is, but that doesn't mean  it hurts any less. Hugs.
    DD(9)DD(5.5)DS(3)DS(born 2/1/11) July 2006, lost a baby at 8 weeks, natural miscarriage , May 2009 lost Zoe Eliana at 17 weeks no reason known, possible under developed organs. Lost two more babies in September 2009 at 7 wks 4 days. Had myomectomy surgery to remove a large fibroid in November 2009.
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  • annegirrlannegirrl member

    First, I'm sorry.

    Second, that pregnancy was really there and it was real to you. It's normal to be sad. You had more than enough time to get excited and happy about this new life so it makes perfect sense to be upset when it is gone. We're here to listen and lend support. We've all been there in one way or another. 

    Married to Jon 9-18-2004
    Kate was born 1-26-2008
    Natural m/c on 10-18-09 at 9.5 weeks
    Mira was born 9-14-2010
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  • sreillysreilly
    I am so sorry for your loss.  You should not feel guilty at all for being upset over the loss.  It is totally normal!!!  A loss is very hard no matter when it happens.  My 1st m/c was a similar experience.  I had bleeding and went to ER and u/s tech said she couldn't find a baby.  They thought maybe my dates were off, but I was positive of them.  I also felt a little weird over the whole thing b/c we didn't even get to see a baby on the u/s.  I had passed clots earlier and may have already passed the baby, but will never know.  My ob assured me that even though it may not have developed very far there was a baby and I was pg...no doubt about it!!  Over time I did heal from the loss and went on to have an amazing DS.  The mourning process includes mourning all those future plans that you did have for that baby and your upcoming life.  That is one of the hardest things I have found about mourning a m/c, all the wonderful things that could have been.       
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  • Cissi64Cissi64

    A baby is a baby no matter how young when you lose it.  Don't feel guilty for mourning it I just had a BO in Sept. and it was just as devastating as my other losses....even more so because we were seeing an RE and had some hope.

    Don't let anyone tell you when, how, or how long, to grieve.  Everybody is different and it isn't one-size-fits-all  grief.  Some people bounce back and move on.  Others, need counseling and/or meds to get  back to normal.

    dd(Brianna) 11/01/94, ds(Bram)10/17/95, ds(Jesse)9/26/97, dd (Annie Ruth) 7/27/05 5mc Jan '08, May '08, Feb '09, Sept '09, Apr '11 "And can it be that in a world so full and busy, the loss of one weak creature makes a void in any heart, so wide and deep that nothing but the width and depth of vast eternity can fill it up." - Charles Dickens

    PAL/PGAL Welcome

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  • KtB0605KtB0605
    Thanks so much ladies...it's good to know there is support here, especially when this is so fresh. I'm planning on taking it one day at a time, and hoping that the pain will ease soon..but until then, I'm glad to hear that it's not selfish of me to mourn this loss. Thanks so much for the support. 
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  • Scout05Scout05 member
    You became a mother the moment you found out you were pregnant. Of course you are sad, and you should never feel guilty for that. I'm so sorry for your loss.
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  • missnessitamissnessita
    Im so sorry for your loss!! Any loss is sad.. so mourning is perfectly OKAY! I went thru the same thing.. but they didnt find it til i was 9 weeks! so i was pretty attached already. My PG was also unplanned.. but very wanted! After the U/S they wanted to do a D&C which i refused got a secong opinion and in the midst of everything.. I m/c naturally on 9/22. I took it pretty good.. I was sad but stayed positive. whats meant to be will be its inevitbale! But now more than ever I want a baby! I got my 1st AF on 10/26 (exactly 30 days from the day i stopped bleeding) and now im TTC again! So GL w/ everything.. I know exactly what your feeling!
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  • lorlei13lorlei13 member

    I am so sorry for your loss.  I also had a blighted ovum.  I went in for my first ultrasound at 10 weeks and like you saw the sac with no baby.  The only reason we didn't find out earlier is because I didn't experience the heavy bleeding or cramping.  But by no means should you feel guilty or silly.  There was a baby to mourn the loss of.  And not only are you mourning the loss of your baby but also the loss of all the hopes and dreams that were already under way.  So what you are feeling is completely normal.  So mourn, cry and beat the floors.  God knows I did it enough.  Just remember there are people out there (and here!) that love you and will support you unconditionally through this horrible time.  It's not going to be easy but in time it will get better.

    <<< HUGS>>>

    ~Lori

    Humphrey - the TTCAL mascotimage
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    "I'm not telling you it's gonna be easy. I'm telling you it's gonna be worth it." -Art Williams
    "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the universe." - Albert Einstein
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  • KtB0605KtB0605
    I am honestly crying reading all of these replies...it helps so much knowing that there are other people that have gone through this. I think this weekend will probably be an emotional roller coaster-because I have to tell some of my family that knew I was pregnant, but I'm sure I will be able to get through it. The OB did say that this was just a fluke, and that I will be able to start TTC again as soon as my period shows up. Thanks so much, again, ladies...it's so comforting to know that I'm not alone :o)
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  • missnessitamissnessita

    imageKtB0605:
    I am honestly crying reading all of these replies...it helps so much knowing that there are other people that have gone through this. I think this weekend will probably be an emotional roller coaster-because I have to tell some of my family that knew I was pregnant, but I'm sure I will be able to get through it. The OB did say that this was just a fluke, and that I will be able to start TTC again as soon as my period shows up. Thanks so much, again, ladies...it's so comforting to know that I'm not alone :o)

    I told EVERYONE when i found out i was PG.. and i totally regret it.. im still getting asked how far i am and how im doing.. I wish word spread as quick about a m/c as it does wit pg!  all i can say is TIME HEALS EVERYTHING! :)

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  • bohemianbeauty7bohemianbeauty7

    I am so sorry for your loss.  Miscarriage is a horrible thing that no one should have to go through. 

     My first miscarriage was a blighted ovum.  I thought that I was around 11 weeks and went in for an ultrasound.  There was only a little sack with nothing in it.  The doctor said that the baby had stopped developing at around 4 weeks and that it was a blighted ovum.  My DH and I were so devastated.  

    Your baby was really there. To you, as with me, you were a mother from the second you found out you were pregnant. Don't feel silly.  It's a powerful loss and I am so sorry you are going through it.  

    Sending love and hugs

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  • sunsetlovesunsetlove member
    so sorry for your loss.. ((HUGS)))
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers BFP 2# 7/5/09,EDD:3/26/10,MC:9/23/09. We Miss our Lucky Charm.
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  • armysis24armysis24
    i havent been around in a few days, but i am so very sorry for your loss. BIG ((HUGS)) . the ladies here are very supportive. come here to vent/cry whenever you need to!
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  • KtB0605KtB0605
    Thanks ladies, so much for all of your wonderful words of encouragement. I am feeling a little better today; I was lucky to get a good nights sleep and I went to my OB this morning and she didn't have to give me a shot to help the miscarriage along. I'm thinking if I would have had to get a shot or a D&C I would have been an emotional wreck. I'm going to try to take things one day at a time...this board is a great one, and I am truly blessed to have somewhere to vent and share my grief. 
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