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Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
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I don't norm post but have an important question
I had my 19 week U/S the doctor couldn't get some measurements so he sent me to the hospital for a U/S today. I am 20 weeks and two days. They said there is limited fluid and the appearence there may be one kidney and what looks like cysts they said there is a spot that looks like two kidneys in one angle and then not in the other he said with the limited fluid the lungs also won't develop. The hospital doctor not my own was pushing me for an abortion TODAY he sat there with us for what seemed like forever looking for an answer. I'm pretty upset right now, i have an appt with my regular OBGYN tomorrow so he can go over the results and what he things. I guess what i'm looking for is to see if anyone else had this issue AND delivered a "healthy" baby meaning they were breathing etc and the child has had a productive life etc. The selfish part of me wants to go to term the realistic part of me doesn't want to deliver a baby that suffers to breath and dies because of it I don't think that would be fair to put the child through.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I don't norm post but have an important question
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I can't answer your exact question (I don't have any kids), but you are obviously being asked to make a very big decision that only you and your DH can make. Please make sure to take all the time you need. Talk to people you trust and your doctor, and get a second or even third opinion if you need to. Just be sure no one forces you to decide anything one way or the other until you are ready and confident in your decision.
you are in my thoughts and prayers.
I am very, very sorry for what you are going through. Truly, I pray it will end up okay for you and your LO.
But this is a LOSS board. No one here has a happy ending to share with you. We are here because our babies died. You need to rely on your doctor for information, or if you must ask a board, one of the trimesters boards. We are not the ones who are going to tell you what you want to hear.
you may not be the ones to tell me what i want to hear but I'd rather know if someone from the loss board has experienced this so that i get the realistic point of view from someone who has lost a child because of this situation. I'm not living in a dream world. I can deliver the child most likely early however if i deliver the chance of survival is slim which is why i'm asking here because someone may have been in that situation and willing to share. Totally not coming off rude I just think this can possibly be the right place to see if someone had lost a child because of this.
You asked: "I guess what i'm looking for is to see if anyone else had this issue AND delivered a "healthy" baby meaning they were breathing etc and the child has had a productive life etc."
The answer is no. Anyone here who got bad news from the doctor lost their baby. You were looking, according to the OP, for examples of this happening and the baby being delivered breathing and living a productive life. Our children are not living any life.
And FWIW, I did have to terminate my first pregnancy because my baby had no chance of survival. I didn't share that originally, because you stated that you were looking for happy endings.
I myself haven't gone through this. I'm sorry you're having to make such an agonizing decision. IMO, and this is JUST MY OPINION, I don't think I could terminate the pregnancy as long as my child had a heartbeat.
Again, I'm sorry you're having to deal w/this situation. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
You'd be suprised, when eight docs are explaining the horrible and painful death your child will suffer if you somehow magically delivered a live baby. And you are looking at the baby you love more than your breath swollen to three times the size he/she should be. Your thought on that might change pretty quick. That may be your opinion, but you can't really know until you are in the postion. I pray you never are.
I am so very, very sorry that you are going through this.
I had went through something similar to what you are dealing with. Little amniotic fluid, kidneys not developing, poor lung growth due to limited space for the baby. Unfortunately, it did not end well. And I feel horrible about saying that. We were given the choice to abort (God I hate that term) as the doctors did not see our child making it to full term.
Talk to your OB first. Discuss everything through. Don't make them rush you. This is not an easy decision to make.
My heart goes out to you and your DH.
OP: I'm so sorry. Really, I am taking a bad attitude out on you, when I should just be supportive. It's been a week today since my third loss, and I haven't found grace today. No excuse.
I really hope it works out differently for you, and that your LO will make it through this. Please feel like you can come here if you need support, my comments are not typical of this board and the women here.
My water broke at 19.5 weeks. Since I was having twins, they decided to keep me in the hospital and put off labor for the other baby.
Jacob had VERY little fluid. The doctors were amazed. We couldn't even see him on the ultrasound because of the lack of fluid. We were told that Jacob, born at 32 weeks had a 1-2% chance of survival. He had no fluid for his lung development. The peri's said he would try to breathe and not be able to. I stayed pregnant until 23 weeks. Jacob lived for 11 minutes after birth, and was unable to breathe.... He struggled and the NICU people did everything they could for him.
Sorry I don't have a happy story for you, but that is OUR story. If you have any other questions feel free to PM me.
9/13/09-Twin boys born at 23 weeks due to Pprom.
Ethan and Jacob-our beautiful angel babies lived for 11 minutes and 23 hours.
Single embryo FET 12/2009-BFP! Blake born 8/2010 at 39 weeks after 36 hours of labor and an emergency c section < IVF 2- BPF! Due April 27th Our Story
No I Understand, like i said in that one reply I wasn't trying to be rude in my response. I know where i posted so I kind of expect some things. and i'm sure in my original post there was plenty I wasn't clear on right now my mind if running a mile a minute. Someone said as a response something along of the lines that most on this board didn't have the option to terminate and I very well may not have any other option since my first pregnancy came with complications and i was delivered early my own doctor not the one i saw today may feel it is not only a risk for the baby but my own health as well. I am sorry for your loss and I understand your comment. Also like you said to the person that said they would never terminate...That may be a better option then delivering and watching this child suffer for a few hours or mins trying to breath...I am not looking to inflict pain on a child that didn't ask for the situation in the first place that isn't how I want that child to spend its only minutes in the world.
I had my u/s at 20w5d and they couldn't see much b/c there was so little amniotic fluid, and their was fluid in the baby's belly and brain. No one ever said for sure they saw kidneys. We saw a perinatologist that day, saw him again the following week, and terminated a week after that once we got a second opinion from another perinatologist and went back to my regular ob practice to talk to a midwife and ob. Everyone said the same thing, that the fluid meant the baby's lungs wouldn't develop and it wouldn't be able to breathe. That was something I couldn't do to a baby, so we chose to terminate and know it was right for us. We did not rush into the decision, however, we did have limited time to make the decision since I was close to the legal limit. As it was, I was past the point that most doctors would perform the D&E.
No happy ending here. I'm so sorry that you are faced with this situation.
Mom to Teagan 4.11.07 and Cora 9.30.11
D&E @ 22w 9.30.09 CMV infection BFP 10.15.10 C/P 4w4d
I appreciate you responding and telling me your story. I needed to hear someone who went through with it knowing it was what was right for the baby and not for themselves in the same situation. They saw a lot on the high resolution machine they were watching blood flows and everything pointed out ribs legs head took all the measurements. We are getting the second opinion tomorrow but like you said i think it will be harder to deliver and watch the child suffer they told us today best case scenario would be a few hours on a ventilator.
I'm very sorry you're going through this. I had a very complicated pg from the start and ended up carrying my two boys to almost 23 weeks. At almost 22 weeks my fluid had become almost non-existant. We could still see my boys on u/s and they were still doing fine with good-sized kidneys,livers, etc...but with no fluid the prognosis was very grim. We tried everything we could to even keep them cooking until at the very least 23 weeks (the first even slim possibility of viability), but I went into labor before then. Even if I had made it to 23 weeks or even 24 weeks, the drs were saying that b/c they had so little fluid their lungs would most likely never fully develop and they would not be able to survive past a few months b/c of a lung disease the name of which elludes me right now.
My first son, Ian, was born still having not made it through L&D, but my second son, Colin, was born alive and lived for about an hour (if you can call it that). I really wanted to add my story b/c when a baby is born so little and young with such immature lungs, they really don't move and (from what I'm told and what it seemed) are not in any pain. We saw Colin kind of gasp maybe 3 times during the first 20 minutes or so, but for the most part he was still. It was actually a very peaceful time for us.
I'm not saying to not terminate ahead of time if that's what you decide and would TOTALLY understand if you do decide to do that and would support you wholeheartedly, but I'm trying to let you know that should you decide to be induced early w/o a termination beforehand, delivery and holding your baby can be really really wonderful things even when you know they're not going to make it. I recommend it to anyone given the option. I hope that things change for you and that your lo makes it, but feel free to pm me if you have any questions about my experience or what you might be going through. My heart goes out to you and your family.
A friend of a friend had a similar issue with low amniotic fluid. They put her on bedrest and constant monitoring in the hospital for like 12 weeks... They delivered her baby at 36 wks only to find out that he had no kidneys. He passed away the next day. His lung function was not good either from what I have been told..
They called it Potter's Syndrome...
I hope that this isnt the case for you and that everything turns out ok, but you did ask for stories about similar things... I hope that you dont have to come here, but know if you have to we will be here to support you..
This is a very unique condition and she is not being given a positive diagnosis. She does not need to be chased away right now.
I cannot believe the way some people responded to this, ESPECIALLY since you don't know a thing about the condition she is dealing with that is most likely fatal to the baby.
This was not a "I'm spotting/I don't have any symptoms type post."
Yes dear, which is why I apologized last night when this all happened. I think I owned up to my mistake, and the OP is the only one I needed to make those amends to.
ETA: And I know exactly what it is like to be in this postion. Which makes 1) my comments even worse, which again, I am fully owning up to and 2) your assumption off base.
I am so sorry that you are going through this. I completely understand your feelings about not wanting your baby to suffer. We terminated (not aborted) our Haleigh in order to end her suffering. I had the option of a D & E or natural delivery; I delivered after I had a KCL. If you would like to know more... our story is in my siggy. Just please know that there are different options on terminating a pg- other than an "abortion" if that is the direction you end up taking.
Please feel free to contact me via PM if you want to talk. This is such a hard decision to make... I have been there....
T&P (((hugs)))