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Success after IF
I didn't expect the conflicting feelings of being a mom
Since people have been posting advice/info for others lately, I thought I'd throw this out there in case it might help someone.
I never expected so many conflicting feelings about motherhood. At first, I felt really bad for feeling this way. I thought I was being ungrateful and not a good mom. But since I've learned that others feel the same way, I've accepted that I can love being a mom without loving every minute of it. And that's ok.
I wasn't prepared for:
- how it's possible to be insanely busy and bored at the same time. While I may never get a chance to sit down, that doesn't mean my mind will be engaged.
- how lonely it can be, even though I'm not alone.
- how much I can simultaneously adore my kids and be desperate to get away from them.
- how I crave adult interaction, but find myself wanting to only talk baby stuff when I finally get it.
- how I can be drop-dead tired yet not want to go to bed. I never thought I'd sacrifice sleep for some awake time to myself.
- how I could be so excited to watch them grow and change while also being sad and nostalgic about it.
- how funny tiny little people can be without trying.
- how motherhood can be exhausting and exhilirating at the same time.
- how I spend half the day wishing it was quieter in my house but then get nervous when it's too quiet because I know they're up to no good.
- how babies can smell so sweet and stink so bad at the same time (on different ends).
- how much I miss my old life sometimes, but definitely wouldn't go back to it for anything!
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Re: I didn't expect the conflicting feelings of being a mom
all this ditto... BUT add the full time working (outside of the house) Mom part to the mix... and not having the same high level mental capacity you used to.
Motherhood is the BEST thing ever... but it sure aint easy!
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart) Our first love and loss 7/2/07
3 cycles clomid TI = BFNs
3 cycles clomid Ovidrel IUI = BFNs
6/27/08 Surprise BFP = chemical pg
IVF#1 July 08 BFP @7dp3dt
TTC #3 since February 2010
FET Sept. and Oct. 2010=BFN's
IVF#2 June 2011=BFP
I have to say while on maternity leave I LOVED having company coming over - it was a great distraction. I was the type who loved sharing the baby for people to hold while I did stuff around the house. Even now, working PT, I love when my mom pops in for coffee early in the mornings the days I'm home to break up the day a bit.
I also agree that I am loving each month more and more - right now DD is starting to walk and it's just such a fun age in general : )
I couldn't agree more with Risper. This is how I feel on a daily basis! I guess because it took us so long to get pregnant, we had these ideallic notions about how motherhood and babies would be. I thought about it all the time. And there are definitely times just like I imagined, but there are times that are so very much harder than I ever imagined.
These little people don't come with a handbook and motherhood isn't necessarily instinctual.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Married 8.13.2005, M/C 12/8/06- 5 weeks, M/C 2/27/07- 7 weeks, M/C w/ D&C 8/10/09-6.5 weeks *Charles Lawrence born 5/2/08 @ 3:14am, 7lb 8oz, 20.5 inches. Clomid, Crinone and baby aspirin. *Alexandra Claire born 9/14/10 @ 9:52am 6lb 14oz, 20.5 inches. Femara, Crinone and baby aspirin.
ditto this but also from a working moms point of view or not ever being good at work again but knowing it is OK.
ditto all of it.
i get frustrated a lot with situation not necessarily baby.
completely ditto!
I never knew that I could feel so bored/lonely being a SAHm. And I hate saying that because I feel bad since I am SO lucky to be one... but it is still challenging to feel so bored and alone all the time.
Wow, I couldn't have written some of these better. You nailed it. I do feel very lonely a lot of the time even though I am with DD so much. DH works very long hours so it's just the 2 of us most of the time, which makes it even more difficult.
I do work PT, and I can tell you the days I am in the office are so much easier and less tiring then the days I am at home. It's hard work!