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1st Trimester
Roxpup
member
MIL thought DH had asperger's?!
Roxpup
member
I sent my MIL a message on FB asking for family medical history stuff, because DH is just awful with those kinds of things...
She listed what she knew and said both DH and his aunt suffer from something similar to asperger's but never met full criteria for it, and that when he was little the shrink that saw him diagnosed him with borderline personality disorder (i'm familiar with this and it doesn't seem like DH at all, i mean, you can find yourself in any of the personality disorders if you look hard enough). MIL told me to look up aspergers on webmd, and she said that's what he was like as a kid in many ways.
I always have known that DH is a homebody and is socially awkward in some ways, but aren't we all? (he's not HORRIBLY socially awkward, but he does get anxious in social situations)
He also doesn't have many friends, and since we started dating, nevermind our wedding a year ago, he has only seen 2 of his friends (the only 2 of his friends he invited that showed up to our wedding, although he only invited 8 ppl, literally). I attributed this to a) he likes to be alone and is a homebody, so where's he gonna make friends? and b) who cares, as long as he's happy? and c) our wedding was not formal in any way, it was on Halloween and it was simple and it was really a party more than a wedding.
Now I'm panicking.
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Re: MIL thought DH had asperger's?!
Like the PP said, I really wouldn't worry too much about it. If DH was never actually diagnosed by a Dr. who is specifically trained to deal with autistic children, or children that have Aspbergers, looking it up on the Web doesn't cut it.
I wouldn't worry about it.
An asperger's diagnosis is only useful if someone is unhappy or having a difficult time functioning in society or holding down a job or something. A lot of socially awkward folks have similar issues that a common diagnosis helps with.
But if your DH is happy and a functioning member of society, there's no reason to worry about it. Autism spectrum disorders are extremely common and every parent should keep an eye out for them in their kids.
BIO
If your DH was never diagonsed then I wouldn't worry to much.
As for if it happens then know it is also not the end of the world either. My sister has two children with it. My nephew who is 13 now is in regular classes getting all A's and has a girlfriend. He is able to learn his triggers and how to control situations and also my sister has worked long and hard with the county to get her children the services they need and work on special programs in school.
It is something that is starting to be found in families and is thought to be genetic. My BIL has social anxiotey disorder but still they have not found defiante links which would cause 2 of my sisters children to have it.
Autism can be genetic. But honestly, it's not worth worrying about. It's so common, everyone should keep an eye out.
If your kid shows signs of aspergers, that means he or she will just need extra help understanding what social cues mean. I had a serious boyfriend with asperger's and he was wonderful. The thing was, certain things that were obvious to most people needed to be explained to him. And he was painfully honest.
BIO
Very good point, Thank you for getting my eyes open a little wider about this. I see things in a very black and white way and sometimes it's hard for me to see the colors in between.
I was a psych major in college and when I got my DSM I remember diagnosing everyone I knew with SOMETHING... no one could be NORMAL, right? But it's all relative, on a bad bitchy day I resemble someone who could have borderline personality disorder, as could many many many other people. It's all relative in comparison to something else, I just need to keep telling myself this.