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Upstate NY Babies
Dealing with a DC's friend death.
I know I'm one of the few with an older child but I know there is a wide spectrum of careers on this board.
Tyler is dealing with her first experience of a good friend dying. She's dealt with a lot of great grandparent deaths and such but I think this definitely touches her in a different way. She's been friends with her since kindergarten, always being in the same class. I knew this girl well, I was in tears too.
It really doesn't help that this child's death had some family drama that the kids have found out about. The child died of H1N1 but the mom called a taxi and not an ambulance or 911 for her. The little girl died in the taxi. The mom was also beat up by the father because he thought it was her fault. Sadly, though she thinks it's a school rumor, it's all true. It's absolutely heartbreaking.
Since the state had her body for so long, the services are Thursday even though she passed away last week. The wake being an hour before the funeral. I'm taking Tyler and her friend to the wake portion.
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Re: Dealing with a DC's friend death.
Oh how sad. Losing childhood friends can really stick with you for life, unlike an older relative. I still think about classmates that passed away and what they would be doing now, how their families deal with holidays and how remaining siblings must still feel that loss.
I think taking her to the wake is a good idea as a way to say goodbye to her friend.
I think you need to just give her a forum to express her feelings and ask questions. I'm not sure if faith or religious beliefs figure into your teachings but recognizing that this is a sad situation- and she might feel many different emotions (sad about the death, angry that someone or something didnt do more, etc) and that all her emotions are ok.
Also doing something in honor of her friend- making a donation to a childrens hospital or a charity her friend may have liked (animals, etc) as a way for her friend to live on- might resonate with her...
Death is never easy and I'm sorry for her loss
I am so sorry. I have no advice b/c even I haven't lost a friend. Are they offering grief counselers at schoool? That is really horrible about the father.
I am going to ask the question I'm sure everyone is thinking. Why did she call a taxi and not an ambulance? Was she being treated for h1n1?
That's such a sad situation. Being a former teacher, I'm going to guess that counselors are available. But, I know many kids would rather talk to a family member. I love the idea of doing something in honor of her friend. Also, I'd buy her a blank journal so she can express herself in writing, poems, drawings, or however she'd like.
I, too, am curious about the whole situation now. It seems to raise some red flags. Sounds terrible.
Oh how heart breaking! I am so sorry for your loss.
I agree about the journal & doing something in her honor.
Charlie 11.01.07 ~ Paul 05.07.10 ~ Annaliese 02.24.12
Thank you everyone for you ideas. I really do appreciate them. They are all wonderful.
As far as I know, she wasn't officially being treated prior for H1N1. I think they just thought she wasn't feeling well. Her fast decline and sudden death and it happening in the taxi (I think they tried to revive her once they got to the hospital), caused the need for an autopsy, where tests revealed she had H1N1.
I have absolutely no clue why she didn't call 911 or an ambulance. I think that is on the mind of many. I don't know if it was because of crappy insurance or bad decision making.
I don't know if the grief counselors are still there but I know the regular staff is still open for any and all questions.