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Blended Families
Oh the DRAMA!!!
Today must be my "Put it all out there" day, Lol!!! This is my 2nd post in the "Blended Families" category tonight....
Ok, So I have a daughter, she'll be 7 in February. I was her fathers "1st" for EVERYTHING. We split when my daughter was 5 months old. Needless to say, he now has this love/hate feeling for me.... A few months after our split, I met my now DH. We've been together ever since. In 2005 my then Bf (now my DH) and I got engaged , and things with my "BD" started going down hill and the drama began. We argued about any and everything. In 2006, I found out I was pregnant and later that year I gave birth to mine and DH's first child together.... About a year later my daughter started telling her father how she was getting really excited to be getting this new family and how she likes travelling (because we took the kids to DH's family reunion that summer), All of a sudden BD starts telling all these rumors to his friends and family, saying that I allowed my DH to abuse my daughter when we went to the family reunion, and told child protective services that my daughter told him that my DH punched her in the face while we were on vacation!!... (FYI, I am the only person that disiplines my daughter and its always been this way since day 1) She's not the type of child that has to get "spanked" because she cries whenever she gets yelled at, so that normally does it for her.
Anyways, DH and I are married now, and BD has told daughter that she does not have to listen to him. BD and I do not get along. He constantly tries to make me look like a "bad" parent, But now it is so out of hand. He takes my daughter to the ER for everything. My daughter got bit by a mosquito over the summer and he took her to urgent care for that. She fell at P.E while at school, he took her to ER for that. I understand being a concerned parent, But some of the things he does are just ridiculous!!... My DH is in the military and we may have to leave this state next year, I know its going to be a nasty court battle, But does anyone have any recommendations on what to do about this whole situation? Any advice is appreciated. Thanks is advance!
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Re: Oh the DRAMA!!!
What is your custody situation like? (sorry if you mentioned it in your other post, I haven't gone through most of them)
Also, you might look into parent alienation as far as him trying to make you look like the bad parent, but that depends on what evidence you have.
Sorry I'm not much more help!?
I agree that it sounds like parental alienation, and that's not at all okay. If I were you, I'd sit down one evening and come up with every single specific case you can think of and document it all according to date.
If your H is in the military and is being forced to move, I'm not sure there's a whole lot your ex can do to stand in your way. You should go through the courts and make sure everything is in order, (and bring up the parental alienation issues at the time) but as your move is not a choice, I don't see how a judge is going to prevent it.
Ditto on the other posts. Start documenting everything you can. BM did this to us when she got served with our change of custody, she started taking SD to the ER for miinor things, she also called child services on us for a small bruise on SD's back and then she called the police on us. Sounds like your X is just being desperate and trying to start shiit, he may have plans to take you to court and he's trying to get some dirt on you. Document every little thing you can, a lawyer can sort thru it later to determine what's important.
In the meantime, sit down with DD and explain about the rules in your house and respecting her elders and that sort of thing. Don't bad mouth her dad even if he is a douchebag! As for the military thing, depending on your state and CO, you'll have to file a petition to move with DD.
so sorry you're going through this. I know exactley what it is like. Anyhow, you should really get your DD in counseling and maybe get you and your DH some counseling to learn how to deal with this crap.
Good luck!
I agree with everyone else that you have to document everything the BD does & be prepared to go to court. On the other hand though, Your DH's orders are for him - not you. Yes, you and your children are included on his orders as dependants, but according to most states it is a choice that you want to follow him and not required. I know it sounds F*d up, but I have been thru it already. I still had to have a letter from BD authorizing me to take the children out of the state (and across the Canadian Border), even though i have 100% legal custody, and 70% physical custody and We were all on DH's orders. The courts arguement (if I had let it get that far) was going to be that it was my choice to go with him and it wasn't required for me to leave & take the children.
just want you to be prepared for what you may have to deal with. Good luck!
we are also in CA and my DH is military. Regardless of how shitty your BD is, good luck getting approval to take your daughter out of state. we were told it would cost around 10-15 k for a custody battle, and we likely wouldnt win unless we could prove BM was turning tricks and taking drugs while with SD. Pretty much if he gets relocated either I stay here to keep ther agreement or we leave and lose custody. i really wish you luck :P
On the upside, my DH's brother is from that area and had a fabulous lawyer for his case. I can get her name for you if you decide to take BD to court.
Gosse1km, Thank you so much. I would love the name and any other information you may find/ have for that lawyer!
Thank you all for your post/ response!... My heart literally hurts at the thought of leaving my child here with "him".... fighting back tears right now, (Sorry).
He only sees my child over the weekend and he does NOTHING for her financial. HOW'D HE GET SO MUCH AUTHORITY?!? UGHHH!!!!
.... 
Anyways, Thank you all again.... (Please feel free to leave more comments if you come across anything else! Thanks)