Hope this was the right thing to do...

Scout05 · October 2009

I've mentioned how hard my DH is taking this loss. It's like, the last two losses, he was so sad but felt like our future would be okay. He had hope, and that helped with his grief (and believe me, he grieved for a long time). But he is so angry this time. I think he feels like the chances of us having a healthy baby have gone down so much with this loss, and he knows what we have ahead of us with the testing and RE visits.

Anyway, I think he needs his parents. Mine live ten minutes away and have been great, but I think he needs his mom and dad to be here for a little while. So I wrote to his sister to see if she could feel out the possiblity of them coming soon for a weekend - I don't want to put them on the spot if money and time are tight.

I just hope he doesn't feel resentful that I stepped in. He's not the type who would normally, but he is so fragile right now. But he would never put anyone out, and I just feel like he needs support and love right now. I mentioned the possiblity to him, and he was sort of vague about it. I hope they come through and can be here for him.

ColindaP · October 2009

Maybe talk to SIL again and ask her that if her parents do bring it up with him, that they make it seem like their idea, not yours. I can see where your concern comes from, but I think this is a very loving and thoughtful thing you are doing for him, and even if it upsets him at first, when he has recovered emotionally somewhat he will see that, no doubt.

bebeblues · October 2009

Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't know u were going through this again! ((hugs))

I think it was very thoughtful of you.

SallyCampos22 · October 2009

Is he close with his parents? My DH is not close with his family so in our case I think he would be more stressed out about putting on a brave face for family.

I do hope having his family around helps.

mlmtgg · October 2009

I think this was really thoughtful of you. it sounds like your dh is similar to mind, and the last thing he would think of is asking on his own - or reaching out ( all of my DH's close friends and all of his family are far far away).

at one time I asked DH's good friend to come in for the weekend when he was really down, and even helped pay for part of the ticket. DH was furious - he said he didn't want anyone around, etc. - then ended up having a great weekend.

Mrs.PinkPearls · October 2009

I am so sorry for your losses. I think you did a good thing. It is a lot to deal with. I know my DH couldnt handle it since he had to take care of both of us. I think if his family would have been more open to help him he might have coped better. I wish you the best.

Scout05 · October 2009

SallyCampos22:

Is he close with his parents? My DH is not close with his family so in our case I think he would be more stressed out about putting on a brave face for family.

I do hope having his family around helps.

They are amazingly close. I know he wants them here, it's just that he would never ask anyone to put themselves out for him.

SallyCampos22 · October 2009

ambrandau2:
SallyCampos22:

Is he close with his parents? My DH is not close with his family so in our case I think he would be more stressed out about putting on a brave face for family.

I do hope having his family around helps.

They are amazingly close. I know he wants them here, it's just that he would never ask anyone to put themselves out for him.

Then I think it's 100% the right thing to do! I'm assuming his family already knows about your loss, correct? Maybe remind them that he may not be open to discussing it on his own, but that you know he just needs his family to be there and be strong for him.

threadless · October 2009

What a sweet thing to do. I think the above mentionings of having his parents bring the subject up could be a good first step. Does he have any friends or other support that he could talk to right now? I am so sorry, and it's not like you need more to worry about on top of everything else.

mlwinkle · October 2009

It was brave of you to contact his sis, but a good thing to do. Hopefully she can provide him the support he needs. The best thing for both of you to do is reach out to your support systems. I am so sorry you are at this point once again.

BabyRN2009 · October 2009

That was very sweet of you. You know your DH and if you think he needs his parents nearby then that is a great idea. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this again. You're in my thoughts and prayers often...

Hope this was the right thing to do...

Re: Hope this was the right thing to do...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards