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Was doing okay until right now

Scout05Scout05 member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

I had my D&C this morning, and since I woke up crying in recovery, they gave me some kind of good chemical assistance to get me through the day. They used the Twilight Sleep as opposed to full general, so waking up was physically really easy and they got me out of there quickly, which I really appreciated.

I've been handling today okay, until right now. This happened last time - it was as I got closer to going to bed that it all started to hit me and the saddness really settled in. It's the prospect of laying there in the dark, thinking, that I dread.

I miss my baby so much. I hate this. That's it. I have nothing really profound to say. I don't freaking believe this happened to us again. I hate this so much.

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Re: Was doing okay until right now

  • Cissi64Cissi64
    It never gets any easier...you just know what to expect which can be worse.
    dd(Brianna) 11/01/94, ds(Bram)10/17/95, ds(Jesse)9/26/97, dd (Annie Ruth) 7/27/05 5mc Jan '08, May '08, Feb '09, Sept '09, Apr '11 "And can it be that in a world so full and busy, the loss of one weak creature makes a void in any heart, so wide and deep that nothing but the width and depth of vast eternity can fill it up." - Charles Dickens

    PAL/PGAL Welcome

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  • tradster2007tradster2007 member

    I wish words would help, but I still have to say how sorry I am that you're going through this.  Many hugs, thoughts and prayers coming your way...

    BFP#1 8/14/09; Natural M/C 9/16/09 @ 9 weeks 2 days 
    BFP#2 5/11/10; DS1 Born 1-27-11 
    BFP#3 6/24/12; Natural M/C 7/1/12 @ 5 weeks 
    BFP#4 9/22/12; Natural M/C 10/17/12 @ 7 weeks
    BFP#5 3/3/13; DS2 Born 11-7-13
    BFP#6 9/20/14; Due 5-28-15


    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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  • babes12babes12 member

    i'm so sorry. 

    i find night time to be the most difficult as well. i tend to relive my few days in the hospital and our ordeal over and over and over.  :o( 

    i'll pray for some peace for you tonight and the nights to come.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic 8.15.07 NATHAN 6.13.09 - 6.14.09 WYATT born 32w3d Gone too soon, RIP. 4.21.10 BFP - missed m/c - D&C on 5.27.10. 1.31.11 BFP - 1st cycle IUI + Follistim + Trigger (2 mature follies)Beta 1 @ 13dpiui: 199 Beta 2 @ 15dpiui: 527 10.7.11 ELIANA(Ellie)ROSE (39w3d)Team Green turned Team Pink - VBAC & ALL NATURAL 6lbs 11oz 19 &1/2in
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  • cpemberton74cpemberton74
    I'm so sorry for your loss.  I had a natural m/c at 6weeks, and after I got my blood tests back showing my levels were back to "normal"  I broke down.  Its so hard.  My thoughts are with you.
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  • candycane3tcandycane3t
    I am here for you whenever you need Allison, I am still so sorry this has happened yet again.  HUGS
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  • MSC03MSC03 member
    I'm sure you're in bed already, but I just wanted to say that I'm so, so sorry.
    imageimage
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  • ColindaPColindaP member
    I just read this. I'm still up at 1:30 am b/c I can't sleep. Blah. This sucks.
    Clicky ticky
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  • candyliescandylies
    I know how you feel. Bedtime was the worse. I would watch tv until I just feel asleep without thinking. Putting something funny on seemed to help me.
    Started TTC - 01/2009 1st BFP - 09/04/09,1st u/s - 10/06/09- no heartbeat seen, D&E - 10/13/09 BFP #2 - 2/12/10, m/c 2/17/10 BFP #3 - 01/03/11 m/c 01/10/11 BFP #4 - 02/21/11 DS born 10/13/2011 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • andrea zandrea z
    imagebabes12:

    i'm so sorry. 

    i find night time to be the most difficult as well. i tend to relive my few days in the hospital and our ordeal over and over and over.  :o( 

    i'll pray for some peace for you tonight and the nights to come.

     

    This... I do the exact same thing.  I have been taking ambien, which helped.  We are going to start TTC again though, so I am trying to get off of it.  I have found I do a lot of reliving those days without the ambien drifting me off to sleep.  It is terrible.  I hope you can find peace dear.  If not, maybe ask your doctor for something to help you sleep.  Just know, when you stop taking it.... the problem comes back.  Not something I was expecting.

    IVF cycle 1-BPF!
    9/13/09-Twin boys born at 23 weeks due to Pprom.
    Ethan and Jacob-our beautiful angel babies lived for 11 minutes and 23 hours.
    Single embryo FET 12/2009-BFP! Blake born 8/2010 at 39 weeks after 36 hours of labor and an emergency c section < IVF 2- BPF! Due April 27th Our Story
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  • sreillysreilly
    I'm so sorry for your loss and that you have to experience this again.  It is horrible i know.  I feel the same way!!  I just can't believe it happened again for me too.  I''ll keep you in my thoughts and hope that you can find some comfort here. 
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