Single Moms..

DianeN9 · October 2009

Are you putting LO's father on the birth certificate?

I have chosen not to. If he wants to fight to be on it, so be it, but I am doing everything possible to keep him out of our lives. I would never do this to anyone without good reason. I'm not going to get into my 'drama' here, but I will just say LO's father was abusive to me. I fear for mine and LO's safety just knowing he is out there, let alone, alone with my LO.

ValAndRyan · October 2009

I did but he was not abusive. I think each situation is different and if he was abusive like you say yours is, then no, his name would not be on the birth certificate.

soxfan · October 2009

well - if you want money or anything from him -- he has to be on it. I would check with this from a lawyer. I would think you have to....

Jocelyn0415 · October 2009

Why don't you just read the answers you were given in the thread you started as FreckleRed where you asked the exact same question???

DianeN9 · October 2009

soxfan:
well - if you want money or anything from him -- he has to be on it. I would check with this from a lawyer. I would think you have to....

I don't want money from him.

Such-a-girl · October 2009

Check the laws in your state, in NY we can't put the name on the certificate unless the father is there to sign and show ID. Unless of course you're married, then your husband is automatically assumed the father.

blondnearby · October 2009

Its the same in CA. You cannot put the father on eht ebirth certificate unless he is there to sign. I was married and my stbx is on DD#2's birth certificate. If the father of your LO is abusive I would start documenting everything for court records. Unfortunately, unless he is physically abusive towards the child there isnt much you can do in terms of preventing visitation if he gets it court ordered.

BostonGayGal · October 2009

tifanico:
You have to think this one, if he does want to be part of your baby?s life, he can just take you to court , establish paternity and then make YOU pay for all of his court costs.

Usually 'all the costs' is just the paternity test, because if there is a question of paternity the judge (or usually just a clerk magistrate) will have you do that as a first step. If a court or lawyer wants paternity established, you may need to make your child available for the swab test, but often once the 'fathers' realize they will have to pay child support, they disappear.

anabell0920 · October 2009

Jocelyn0415:
Why don't you just read the answers you were given in the thread you started as FreckleRed where you asked the exact same question???

Yes

gingerfamily · October 2009

If you are going to keep posting the same question - at least do it under one of your multiple AE's.

scubaspot · October 2009

You say that you don't want to go into your "drama" here and yet you did. Drama seems to be a good word to sum you up.

Ciconrad · October 2009

tifanico:

blondnearby:
Its the same in CA. You cannot put the father on eht ebirth certificate unless he is there to sign. I was married and my stbx is on DD#2's birth certificate. If the father of your LO is abusive I would start documenting everything for court records. Unfortunately, unless he is physically abusive towards the child there isnt much you can do in terms of preventing visitation if he gets it court ordered.

This.

If he is not there to sign the birth certificate and the Acknowledgement of paternity he cant be on the BC.

You have to think this one, if he does want to be part of your baby?s life, he can just take you to court , establish paternity and then make YOU pay for all of his court costs.

I don't think this is true in every state. My DH was not in the room when the birth certificate people came to get all my information. They just asked who the father was and his state of birth. He didn't have to be there, sign anything or show an ID. 6 weeks later the birth certificate showed up at our house. I live in NC.

Mominator · October 2009

anabell0920:

Jocelyn0415:
Why don't you just read the answers you were given in the thread you started as FreckleRed where you asked the exact same question???

Double Yes Yes

MsMonica's1st · October 2009

I'm not sure about that yet. I have mixed feelings about that. I know I don't want child support from him and I'm not going to go through any courts for paternity or support. He knows he has a responsibility and I'm not going to force it on him. But the reason I would want him on the birth certificate is for identity only. In the event that something should happen to him, God forbid, I then would want our child to have the identity that he was the father.

LeahMarie714 · October 2009

I'm not putting him on there.

kevschickee2 · October 2009

DianeN9:

soxfan:
well - if you want money or anything from him -- he has to be on it. I would check with this from a lawyer. I would think you have to....

I don't want money from him.

well if you are getting money from the state they will want money from him

kimberleigh30 · October 2009

The responses in this post wil help

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/24379877.aspx

Jocelyn0415 · October 2009

kevschickee2:
DianeN9:

soxfan:
well - if you want money or anything from him -- he has to be on it. I would check with this from a lawyer. I would think you have to....

I don't want money from him.

well if you are getting money from the state they will want money from him

This. In Missouri you have to put that you do not live with the father and you have to give his name. They will contact him about CS.

DNK777 · October 2009

If you are on state assistance in Ohio, you will have to file for child support. If he is not on the birth certificate, they will issue a paternity hearing.

Mysterious_Mama · October 2009

mrsh0606:
If you are going to keep posting the same question - at least do it under one of your multiple AE's.

Yes

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