At what point?

TeamReed · October 2009

Ok, this is kind of piggy-backing on the irrational fears post...at what point would you all consider adoption?

The more and more I find myself questioning my abilty to have a baby, the more and more this question comes into my mind. And I don't have an answer...but am curious about you all...

Temp356619000002780 · October 2009

I'm at that point already, but DH isn't!

gymnst1013 · October 2009

Right now, DH doesn't want to adopt. He is adopted and feels as though he was sort of an outsider in his family so he doesn't think he would want to. That could change though, who knows. As for me, I guess I would probably consider it after we exhausted all other options so after a few IVF/FET cycles or if my doctor told me our efforts are futile.

Jaimie01 · October 2009

I am not sure when I would consider adoption although I do know it is always an option.

Edit: That didn't sound right. To be clear it is always something DH and I might do even if we have kids of our own.

XXXXX222 · October 2009

We might end up adopting. Honestly it isn't something we ever discussed until recently. I still get upset when family members learn about our TTTC and they tell us things like "there's no shame in adopting", etc. You'd think after all this time TTC that we'd be at least ready to consider, but we're not. Call it selfish but I guess we're just not there yet.

Believe it or not, a couple people (who found out about our IVF by accident) have told us to "just adopt" and we'll get pregnant... WTF?!

gymnst1013 · October 2009

sulfababy:
We might end up adopting. Honestly it isn't something we ever discussed until recently. I still get upset when family members learn about our TTTC and they tell us things like "there's no shame in adopting", etc. You'd think after all this time TTC that we'd be at least ready to consider, but we're not. Call it selfish but I guess we're just not there yet.
Believe it or not, a couple people (who found out about our IVF by accident) have told us to "just adopt" and we'll get pregnant... WTF?!

This drives me BSC! It's such an illogical argument - like one thing really has to do with the other Hmm

jteneback · October 2009

Adoption is really full of uncertainty, I think that would be the hardest thing for me. I used to say I would never do IVF but now I think I would do several rounds before contemplating adoption.

silly123 · October 2009

I have always wanted to adopt, actually since I was a child!

Unfortunatly, adoption is a very long and expensive process (of course for the right reasons) For that reason, I would try many other options first. However, I may still adopt after having one or two biological children.

nomadicprincess · October 2009

gymnst1013:
sulfababy:

We might end up adopting. Honestly it isn't something we ever discussed until recently. I still get upset when family members learn about our TTTC and they tell us things like "there's no shame in adopting", etc. You'd think after all this time TTC that we'd be at least ready to consider, but we're not. Call it selfish but I guess we're just not there yet.

Believe it or not, a couple people (who found out about our IVF by accident) have told us to "just adopt" and we'll get pregnant... WTF?!

This drives me BSC! It's such an illogical argument - like one thing really has to do with the other

I know it is illogical, but I've known of several people who adopted and then found out they were preggers.

gymnst1013 · October 2009

nomadicprincess:
gymnst1013:
sulfababy:

We might end up adopting. Honestly it isn't something we ever discussed until recently. I still get upset when family members learn about our TTTC and they tell us things like "there's no shame in adopting", etc. You'd think after all this time TTC that we'd be at least ready to consider, but we're not. Call it selfish but I guess we're just not there yet.

Believe it or not, a couple people (who found out about our IVF by accident) have told us to "just adopt" and we'll get pregnant... WTF?!

This drives me BSC! It's such an illogical argument - like one thing really has to do with the other
I know it is illogical, but I've known of several people who adopted and then found out they were preggers.

Coincidence

court523 · October 2009

we want to adopt eventually anyway, so... for me, if it take more than 9 months i will be ready, DH wants to wait at least a year

Mr. & Mrs. Woodtick · October 2009

::waves hi to Sulfa::

I think that like Gym we would have had to exhaust all of our options/chances with IVF and FET befor we consider adoption. Honestly though, if we ever came to adoption,I think we would adopt an embryo rather than an actual baby.

TeamReed · October 2009

nomadicprincess:
gymnst1013:
sulfababy:

We might end up adopting. Honestly it isn't something we ever discussed until recently. I still get upset when family members learn about our TTTC and they tell us things like "there's no shame in adopting", etc. You'd think after all this time TTC that we'd be at least ready to consider, but we're not. Call it selfish but I guess we're just not there yet.

Believe it or not, a couple people (who found out about our IVF by accident) have told us to "just adopt" and we'll get pregnant... WTF?!

This drives me BSC! It's such an illogical argument - like one thing really has to do with the other
I know it is illogical, but I've known of several people who adopted and then found out they were preggers.

I hate to always be the biatch...but...why preggers? Why not pregnant? same amount of letters and one is SO much less annoying....

silly123 · October 2009

gymnst1013:
nomadicprincess:
gymnst1013:
sulfababy:

We might end up adopting. Honestly it isn't something we ever discussed until recently. I still get upset when family members learn about our TTTC and they tell us things like "there's no shame in adopting", etc. You'd think after all this time TTC that we'd be at least ready to consider, but we're not. Call it selfish but I guess we're just not there yet.

Believe it or not, a couple people (who found out about our IVF by accident) have told us to "just adopt" and we'll get pregnant... WTF?!

This drives me BSC! It's such an illogical argument - like one thing really has to do with the other

I know it is illogical, but I've known of several people who adopted and then found out they were preggers.

Coincidence

Someone on the bump (have no idea which board) has a blog called 'urban adoption legend' or something with those words. They went through alot to ttc and then adopted, and got pg not too long after. I mean it must be a coincidence..but I think it's one of those things people lovvveee to talk about lol

silly123 · October 2009

gymnst1013:
nomadicprincess:
gymnst1013:
sulfababy:

We might end up adopting. Honestly it isn't something we ever discussed until recently. I still get upset when family members learn about our TTTC and they tell us things like "there's no shame in adopting", etc. You'd think after all this time TTC that we'd be at least ready to consider, but we're not. Call it selfish but I guess we're just not there yet.

Believe it or not, a couple people (who found out about our IVF by accident) have told us to "just adopt" and we'll get pregnant... WTF?!

This drives me BSC! It's such an illogical argument - like one thing really has to do with the other

I know it is illogical, but I've known of several people who adopted and then found out they were preggers.

Coincidence

Someone on the bump (have no idea which board) has a blog called 'urban adoption legend' or something with those words. They went through alot to ttc and then adopted, and got pg not too long after. I mean it must be a coincidence..but I think it's one of those things people lovvveee to talk about lol

Blessed1018 · October 2009

I don't consider it yet, if I get to be like 40 and don't have a kid, then yes, but that is almost 20 years from now...

TeamReed · October 2009

Blessed1018:

I don't consider it yet, if I get to be like 40 and don't have a kid, then yes, but that is almost 20 years from now...

Curious -- how old are you?

gymnst1013 · October 2009

Blessed1018:
I don't consider it yet, if I get to be like 40 and don't have a kid, then yes, but that is almost 20 years from now...

Crying I only have 4 more years till 40!

TeamReed · October 2009

is blessed now shy about her age?

gymnst1013 · October 2009

kdodge423:
gymnst1013:
Blessed1018:
I don't consider it yet, if I get to be like 40 and don't have a kid, then yes, but that is almost 20 years from now...
I only have 4 more years till 40!
It's ok, my H will be there 2.
Which sadly means he is likely old enough to be Blessed's father. Awesome.

I guess that means I could be her mother Indifferent shiit that is depressing.

Mrs.Umm · October 2009

Wow...now I feel old. It's bad enough that I'm old enough to be my students' mother.

DH and I have always considered adoption. We have always wanted one biological and at least one adopted child.

tct1219 · October 2009

i've always wanted to adopt [i don't see it as a backup plan or a last resort like a lot of people i know seem to] so i'm just waiting for dh. it's definitely a personal choice but i am glad i only ttc for a few months because i would feel guilty if i had a biological child when there are so many children who will never have families.

i know everyone doesn't agree but that's how i feel.

gymnst1013 · October 2009

tct1219:
i've always wanted to adopt [i don't see it as a backup plan or a last resort like a lot of people i know seem to] so i'm just waiting for dh. it's definitely a personal choice but i am glad i only ttc for a few months because i would feel guilty if i had a biological child when there are so many children who will never have families.
i know everyone doesn't agree but that's how i feel.

I think it's really admirable that you feel this way.

Pink22_83 · October 2009

My DH and I have already decided we are adopting a child regardless of whether we can get pregnant. And I dont think I would do IVF. I had cancer when I was younger and my body has taken a beating, I am not sure I could push it much farther. As well my DH is very concerned about my health and is against IVF for me. So I think at most we would do a few rounds of IUI. We have already started saving in the event we we dont get pregnant and decide to adopt sooner than expected.

Tiger80 · October 2009

Bit late to this one, but I think we'd exhuast all other options first. I'm not sure what DH's thoughts are on adoption, guess we will cross that bridge if we get to it.

STL34 · October 2009

It is something DH and I haven't really talked about. I think even if we have biological kids, we may consider adoption, too.

regs19 · October 2009

kdodge423:
nomadicprincess:
gymnst1013:
sulfababy:

We might end up adopting. Honestly it isn't something we ever discussed until recently. I still get upset when family members learn about our TTTC and they tell us things like "there's no shame in adopting", etc. You'd think after all this time TTC that we'd be at least ready to consider, but we're not. Call it selfish but I guess we're just not there yet.

Believe it or not, a couple people (who found out about our IVF by accident) have told us to "just adopt" and we'll get pregnant... WTF?!

This drives me BSC! It's such an illogical argument - like one thing really has to do with the other
I know it is illogical, but I've known of several people who adopted and then found out they were preggers.
Here, read this so you can learn exactly how rude and hurtful comments like that are.
And say pregnant like an adult damn it.

That is a great article that everyone should read, it is so true.

JennyAnne022776 · October 2009

jteneback:
Adoption is really full of uncertainty, I think that would be the hardest thing for me. I used to say I would never do IVF but now I think I would do several rounds before contemplating adoption.

This is my feeling exactly.

JennyAnne022776 · October 2009

kdodge423:
It will be a while. At least a year or so (maybe 2). Depending on what we find out from the RE, I may or may not look into it and get the ball rolling while DH is deployed. Right now a lot hinges on that appointment and what (if anything) is found.

Honestly though, I don't know if we really would. Maybe it's because I am still holding on to hope that something will work for us. But I am not 100% sure we would go through with it.

This is the same boat we're in. I think I would have a hard time adopting because I would always be hoping that something would happen on our own. And at this point, DH has not expressed any interest in researching adoption at all. I completely understand his feelings.

poolrat00 · October 2009

DH and I actually have gone through most of the adoption process...to have legal red tape pulled down over our eyes due to the exact location of our house. It is our dream to adopt older kids, ages 10+ who may not have another chance at adoption. When we found out our current living situation would not allow us to adopt (too far into one county...too far from services in the other...) from a county agency, we chose to TTC and just see what would happen. We still plan to adopt, we've even kept looking for ways to see how we could adopt in our situation but private adoption is just sooo pricey!

Good luck to everyone, adoption, TTC....whichever is your choice to grow your family!

triple_sevens · October 2009

Adoption has always appealed to me and I'd very much like to expand my family that way in the future. My husband seems more resistant to the idea and it is expensive, so I don't know if we ever will. But I do have a dream that one day we'll adopt, not matter what happens with this and any other possible future pregnancies.

nomadicprincess · October 2009

TeamReed:
nomadicprincess:
gymnst1013:
sulfababy:

We might end up adopting. Honestly it isn't something we ever discussed until recently. I still get upset when family members learn about our TTTC and they tell us things like "there's no shame in adopting", etc. You'd think after all this time TTC that we'd be at least ready to consider, but we're not. Call it selfish but I guess we're just not there yet.

Believe it or not, a couple people (who found out about our IVF by accident) have told us to "just adopt" and we'll get pregnant... WTF?!

This drives me BSC! It's such an illogical argument - like one thing really has to do with the other
I know it is illogical, but I've known of several people who adopted and then found out they were preggers.
I hate to always be the biatch...but...why preggers? Why not pregnant? same amount of letters and one is SO much less annoying....

Why not? I like the term. Sue me. One of these days I will hopefully be preggers.

nomadicprincess · October 2009

kdodge423:
nomadicprincess:
gymnst1013:
sulfababy:

We might end up adopting. Honestly it isn't something we ever discussed until recently. I still get upset when family members learn about our TTTC and they tell us things like "there's no shame in adopting", etc. You'd think after all this time TTC that we'd be at least ready to consider, but we're not. Call it selfish but I guess we're just not there yet.

Believe it or not, a couple people (who found out about our IVF by accident) have told us to "just adopt" and we'll get pregnant... WTF?!

This drives me BSC! It's such an illogical argument - like one thing really has to do with the other

I know it is illogical, but I've known of several people who adopted and then found out they were preggers.

Here, read this so you can learn exactly how rude and hurtful comments like that are.

And say pregnant like an adult damn it.

I am an adult. Because I am an adult, I can say it how I want. Sometimes pregnant, other times preggers. Aren't there more important things to worry about than how someone says something? Gee whiz...

tct1219 · October 2009

gymnst1013:
tct1219:
i've always wanted to adopt [i don't see it as a backup plan or a last resort like a lot of people i know seem to] so i'm just waiting for dh. it's definitely a personal choice but i am glad i only ttc for a few months because i would feel guilty if i had a biological child when there are so many children who will never have families.
i know everyone doesn't agree but that's how i feel.
I think it's really admirable that you feel this way.

thank you, that's very nice of you to say but i didn't mean to make it sound like i'm some kind of saint. having my goal of being a mother fulfilled and the happiness i will feel to also have done something good for another person is at least a little bit selfish.

tct1219 · October 2009

triple_sevens:
Adoption has always appealed to me and I'd very much like to expand my family that way in the future. My husband seems more resistant to the idea and it is expensive, so I don't know if we ever will. But I do have a dream that one day we'll adopt, not matter what happens with this and any other possible future pregnancies.

just in case you don't already know, foster to adopt is a great way many people adopt with much less cost than the $50k+ some people pay for adoptions.

from what i know it is as difficult and often even more so than the easiest of adoptions through an agency, but it's a very realistic and wonderful way to make a family. i'm sure you already knew about that but i just wanted to put it out there that there are ways to adopt without the very high agency fees.

gymnst1013 · October 2009

tct1219:
gymnst1013:
tct1219:
i've always wanted to adopt [i don't see it as a backup plan or a last resort like a lot of people i know seem to] so i'm just waiting for dh. it's definitely a personal choice but i am glad i only ttc for a few months because i would feel guilty if i had a biological child when there are so many children who will never have families.
i know everyone doesn't agree but that's how i feel.
I think it's really admirable that you feel this way.
thank you, that's very nice of you to say but i didn't mean to make it sound like i'm some kind of saint. having my goal of being a mother fulfilled and the happiness i will feel to also have done something good for another person is at least a little bit selfish.

Oh no, I understand

nomadicprincess · October 2009

kdodge423:
nomadicprincess:
gymnst1013:
sulfababy:

We might end up adopting. Honestly it isn't something we ever discussed until recently. I still get upset when family members learn about our TTTC and they tell us things like "there's no shame in adopting", etc. You'd think after all this time TTC that we'd be at least ready to consider, but we're not. Call it selfish but I guess we're just not there yet.

Believe it or not, a couple people (who found out about our IVF by accident) have told us to "just adopt" and we'll get pregnant... WTF?!

This drives me BSC! It's such an illogical argument - like one thing really has to do with the other

I know it is illogical, but I've known of several people who adopted and then found out they were preggers.

Here, read this so you can learn exactly how rude and hurtful comments like that are.

And say pregnant like an adult damn it.

I see what you got rude with me now. Y'all misread my comment as me saying I agreed with the statement I wrote. I was just pointing out WHY people make that assumption. People think that because they see it happen. I've seen it happen. It doesn't make it right to say it regardless.

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