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Oh no! I've been invited to a party!

debbadebbadoo711debbadebbadoo711
in Pregnant after 35

A close friend of mine has a birthday party coming up.  I feel like I may have to decline. She is one of my few friends that knows about the pregnancy, but the rest of the group that will be there does not.  This will most likely be a loud, lively party with drinking involved.

I literally don't know if I will be able to make it! I have been having "all day" sickness, and all of my energy is put into getting out of bed and into the shower, and making it through the workday with out puking or falling asleep at my desk.

Not to mention, not only am I not glowing yet, I am usually either green or pasty.Ick!  I am in a very frumpy phase where I am feeling very unattractive. I don't look pregnant yet, just like I'm getting fat, LOL! I'm not fitting into my clothes right. 

I feel guilty and selfish. I am having a rough 1st trimester as I have mentioned before, and I just don't think I can handle a party right now.  Believe me, I can't wait to go out and "glow" once I'm feeling better, but now, Ughhh. Huh?

Any words of wisdom would be appreciated. Thanks!

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Re: Oh no! I've been invited to a party!

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    kellygirl0515kellygirl0515
    Oh I remember the feeling... not so long ago when I was pg w/ my DS.  Same situation - lots of friend gatherings, drinking and fun and then there was me...  a mess (ha!)    As bad as I felt I opted to always stay home b/c I knew going would raise a lot of questions and make me extremely uncomfortable, especially since DH and I didn't want to spill the news til 12 wks.  I know it's hard - hang in there.  Once you get the news out you'll feel a bit better too.  The 2nd trimester will be much better to you - hang on.  Feel better - know it's temporary and light is around the corner.  Kel
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    UTKDUTKD
    This happened to me in the first tri, too.  I opted out of the gatherings that involved partying and drinking b/c we were not ready to announce, and we didn't want to be cross-examined.  Of course, our absence prompted questions after the fact, but those are easier to answer -- I just said I was tired and didn't want to be a party pooper.  I am sure your friend will understand, and you shouldn't feel selfish or guilty.  You are, after all, manufacturing a human being!  :) 
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    KirstieCKirstieC member

    I'm sure since you're friend knows she'll be very understanding if you decline. Maybe you can make it up to her by taking her to breakfast or a special outing. I didn't have any morning sickness during my 1st Trimester, but just didn't fee like going out at all. Mostly due to the fatigue that hit me like a Mack truck.

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    ladyphotoladyphoto
    I agree with everyone else here.  I am sure your friends will be understanding.  the first tri is so difficult.  I pretty much hid out in my house.  I barely showed my face anywhere- so don't worry. you are not alone!
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    violetblue72violetblue72

    Is the party very soon?  Decline if you're not feeling well because that would be the absolute truth.  If the party is in a few weeks, hold off.  You may feel better or you may just want to see friends.  I was able to go to a bachelorette party when I was about 6 weeks and either ordered 7-Up with a lime or just said I didn't want a drink.  People really don't pay as close attention to what you drink as you think they do when you're pregnant.  But then again, I was feeling well in the very beginning so that makes a difference.

    Don't stress.  Even if your friend is a little upset because you missed it, she will understand after the fact.

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