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2nd Trimester
Ack! Bun's folks are starting to look GREAT...
Consider this my FFFC guys... I'm about to lay a big one on ya.
The Bun and I want to move across the country, so that our Hitchhiker doesn't have to have his grandparents in his life.
When we got pregnant, one of my biggest fears was about telling my parents. No, not OUR parents; I didn't plan to tell his, I was going to let him deal with that stress. No, I mean my own parents, my Dad and SMom. I told them on an otherwise happy and momentous occasion (my college graduation) so I could tell them in person, and everything seemed fine.
Since my BFP though, my SMom have gotten increasingly close, and my Dad and I (who, for the record, have a strained relationship at best that I struggle every day to maintain) are to the point where even thinking about talking to him gives me a panic attack.
SMom knows it, and she's broken hearted. She asked me last night if I would withhold the Hitchhiker from her and my dad, because of the circumstances of my relationship with him (previous physical abuse, current mental and emotional harassment)..
...And I said yes. And today...I still mean it.
California, get back on your feet...We're ready to get the hell out of dodge.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Ack! Bun's folks are starting to look GREAT...
Oi! So sorry to hear. Sounds like he's long overdue for an a&&whoopin!
Yeah I have no advice either but also wanted to wish you good luck. That has to be tough on both sides.
Thanks Ladies. It's a bad situation, wherein my Dad believes things that are not only totally the opposite of Bun and I, but also wrong (like it should be okay to commit violent acts on others for lifestyle choices, or non-choices). I don't want the HH to be exposed to his negativity, and his offensive behavior...
At the same time, he's my father. And while he hasn't always been a good father, he is excited (somewhat) for the baby to be here, and withholding him from my SMom seems cruel. So..sort of stuck between a rock and a hard place there... :S
i have a situation. its not the same but it is a little the same. dh and i have been talking about moving since we got together, we have that in common, we want to travel the world and we want to experience life else where.
his parents aren't much of a problem. his dad hasn't been around in a while, hasn't called to say hello or even sent an email asking how he's been, his mom has her life to herself, he doesn't see them much.
my parents though, i visit them often, weekly, sometimes dh and i will go spend the weekend there. i love them both very much. they don't understand us wanting to move. my dad would love to build me a little house in the backyard and keep us there forever. he's got 3 grandsons in florida he doesn't see very often because of the distance and he's finally got one on the way here with me.
i feel like if i move i'm taking away their grandbaby and ugh! its not fair. they've lived in the same zip code my whole life, but i don't want to stay here. i guess i might just start out small, we might move to austin, it's only about 2 hours from here. then we will go from there. cali or europe. :]]
i'm definitely not giving up my dreams, if they wanna see the baby they can come visit.
I hope this works out for you. I know that moving won't magically solve all our problems, but it would limit their interaction with him, which might keep everything safe until the HH is old enough to understand the reasons why we don't want him to act like his grandpa.
Yay!!!!!
Come to California!
I am probably biased because I have a horrible relationship with my father (And Step-mother. Oh, and mother, and step-father, as well).
My reasons are very justified - basically they are very ugly people. They never progressed past the age of 13, they all lie and manipulate, etc, etc.
I do not plan to have any of them be alone with my child (ever) and as far as them seeing my child... only on my terms, for how long I say, where I say is okay, etc.
If I were you, I'd move. If it weren't for DH's job and the fact that his family is so wonderful and he would miss them terribly, we'd move as well, solely to get away from the parents.
Good luck with whatever you choose.