My jaw is on the floor...

hterry85 · October 2009

I'm sitting here listening to my coworker talk about her sd. Who is three. The sd mom wants her father (coworkers dh) to sign over his rights to her new dh. And coworker is encouraging her dh to do it! What?! Her reason is that bm is filling sds head with crap about them and shes not going to put up with her sd being mean to her. She's saying it doesn't matter how they treat sd because she is only going to listen to her mom. Um, no. Kids can see through words. If you treat her right she will but two and two together someday that her mom is talking crap. And coworker has two bio kids of her own, so it's not like shes clueless to that kind of situation. I just can't IMAGINE giving up ss, let alone encouraging DH to do it.

"It'd be for the best" she just said...

Phantomgirl · October 2009

The best for who? her no doubt.

Banana44 · October 2009

I agree with you unless the children are victims of Parental Alienation Syndrome. If BM is doing this, the children can be nearly unreachable. My sister's SC (10 & 7) were removed from their Mother after years of Parental alienation. They used to call their father and my sister every name in the book, they would pee in corners of the house, steal things, treat their half-sister like dirt, and worse - all because the BM was BSC.

It took over $50K in lawyers and counselors to prove PAS and have the children removed. Still the kids have a long path of intense therapy before they can improve form this kind of abuse, but if you o not have te money and other children are around, sometimes it is the best interest of the children to give up rights.

But - only in exreme conditions, and I have no knowledge that your co-worker would fit into that category - your co-worker is probably just selfish.

DREWLILY · October 2009

Man if that were the case, DH and I would be fvcked with all the nonsense BM tells SD about us. She just turned 6, but she has seen thru BM's nasty comments for the last two years and she knows the truth. In this case that kid might be better off without a woman who would encourage the dad to sign away his rights so easily. Lame.

cabbage5215 · October 2009

Sadly, I think that is a lot more common than it should be.

That is why I am glad I found this board. People that think that the DH should just "sign away rights" to make everything "easier" get another perspective here when they ask for advice.

hterry85 · October 2009

Banana - All she mentioned is that her sd told her that she hated her. She's a little young for that at 3, but what kid doesn't say that they hate a parent at some point or another? You're right, she's just being selfish!

And sorry about your sisters situation! It sounds like a nightmare. It's still better for the kids in long run to be away from their mom than for dad to just give up. Props to him!

j+k · October 2009

You're co-worker is a moron.

monkeygirlsmomma · October 2009

I couldn't imagine not having SD around! She has told us that BM has said nasty things about me and DH but we just ask her if she thinks they are true and she always says no, tells DH that she loves him and goes back to playing....I think your co-worker is a horrible person, and i'm just gonna guess that since she has kids of her own she is trying to get their dad to sign away his rights or she already has...

MCKS · October 2009

Very interesting - so what if the roles were reversed - this coworker had a BD to her kids that were filling their head with all bad ideas about her - would it just be easy and "for the best" to give up and she could easily sign away her rights to her OWN kids? I don't thinks so - sure hope this coworkers DH doesn't take her advice....just don't understand some people...

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