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Attachment Parenting
s/o AP Lite?
What do you consider AP lite, vs hardcore AP? Just curious.
For instance, am I considered AP lite because I'm planning on weaning when DS is one as opposed to BFing him until he self-weans? You can be honest, it won't hurt my feelings 
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Re: s/o AP Lite?
I mean, who am I to judge, but I consider anyone who doesn't follow *most* of the 7 Baby Bs to be some form of AP-lite.
But just to clarify, I don't think that makes anyone a bad parent. I'm "AP-lite" in a lot of ways and think I'm a darn good mama. ;-)
Like how vague that all was?
Calin... Who knows what the passage of time can do. You might end up nursing a lot longer OR a lot shorter than your master plan. Things change for a multitude of reasons.
Some would consider me AP-lite because I used a stroller fairly often. Do I feel bad? NO. I lived downtown and walked a lot. We always had a pile of crap to carry. I didn't want to be a martyr and kill myself. It never even occurred to me to do so, until a woman on the street gave me heck for it. "That poor baby in that awful contraption! I only wore my baby at that age!" I told her that BW evangelicalism is fine with me to a point, but since I had 50 pounds of groceries to haul uphill for several blocks that she should mind her own business and that DD was worn plenty TYVM.
And yes, if my DD fell asleep or was happy in her car seat, I had no problem snapping her out of it and letting her remain there as long as she was happy. Why rock the boat?
I also had to use formula. Yes, I fed it all at the breast, that's an AP failure on my part, I guess. I chose to have that surgery all those years ago.
There are probably other things, but I don't really care. The things that really mattered to me I stuck to. (ie, no CIO/Ferber no matter what.) The rest of stuff that matters to random strangers and Dr Sears? Meh. The fact is, I fit in with AP parents a lot more than mainstream ones.
Hm, interesting question...I never really thought about it. I guess I'm more in the middle to hardcore range? This board is pretty lite, but mothering.com is too hardcore for me. Last time I was there I was totally turned off by the judgy-ness and rules.
I know you have big plans Calins...but I have a bit o a feeling things will change for you...you're getting crunchier by the day!!!
Just teasing 
Joaquin's hospital and Isela's birth center med & intervention free "hypnobabies" birth stories
I guess I don't really think there is an AP lite. I think if you parent with AP in mind you don't need to do everything on the list for a certain amount of time...you do what works for your family.
Also...what I think most people would call AP Hardcore is what I would call BSC taking things way too far. Like the opposite of the people who think Babywise is the Bible.
I'm probably here because I'm pretty AP when it comes to riding out sleep disturbances and not worrying about spoiling a baby with too much rocking/holding/nursing and letting DD self-wean.
But I co-slept for the first three months out of laziness (not wanting to walk across the hall every 2 hours) and I only bedshare to get through sleep disturbances and maximize my own sleep. When DS is ready to stay in his own bed all night I won't be upset. ;-) Oh, and I also babywear for my own convenience and have no problem carrying DS in the infant seat when that is easier.
All in all, I think I'm more AP than many people I know, but I'm certainly not hard core AP.
I consider myself to be AP-Lite.
I am currently weaning because I have struggled with supply issues from the start. I was on Reglan just to maintain my supply in order to pump enough for one bottle each day (when he takes 3 while I'm working) and to nurse 2x per day. I was ending up supplementing more than I was nursing. It was a losing battle. I saw a LC every week for the first 12 weeks and despite everything I did, my supply never really materialized. However, even though I'm bottle feeding
I co-slept for the first 5 weeks and then transitioned Tyson into a crib in his own room. My DH is a very light sleeper and having Tyson in our room was difficult for us. I keep the baby monitor by my head and soothe him whenever he needs it. We do not and will not CIO.
I babywear as much as possible, I let T develop his own schedule and respond to him, his cues and his needs, I plan to practice positive discipline and most importantly, I am and plan to remain connected to him and as nurturing of him as possible.
DAuger couldn't have said how I feel any better. When DS was brand new, I was anti-fuss it out, let alone being anti-CIO. He was worn all the time. We did every AP thing in the book. Now that he is bigger? We did some modified Ferber because I was desperate for sleep (you can read the details in the "banned from the AP" post below); we put him in the stroller for long walks because 20 pounds is a lot less comfy than 8, although I'll still wear him a number of times a week; I'm also hoping to wean at about a year of age. Parenting just isn't a thing where one set of tenants is going to work all the time for everybody or even for one baby. My "philosophies" on what is best for our family are constantly adapting to our present situation. But again, I feel more AP than anything else so that is still what I consider myself
Honestly? I really think how AP we are fluctuates as our family grows and changes. Maybe it's the same for you? For the first 6 months I would say we were hardcore AP. But then breastfeeding wasn't working anymore. And now we're transitioning to our own beds. But I still wear her daily. And I still consider us an AP family. There are plenty of other things we do/don't do that make us AP-minded.
So, would I say you're AP-lite just because you may not BF until LO self-weans? No. Would I say you're AP-hardcore? Probably not. But then again, maybe you're more hardcore about other AP things like I am.
I'm going to through this out there - I think the hallmark of AP is baby-led. As in, using a stroller may not be AP, but DS seems to prefer the stroller for our evening walk. So I'm listening to his cues. Starting cereal & solids before 6 months is not very AP either, but DS was not satisfied w/ just BM, so we give him a few tablespoons of oatmeal or avocado in the morning. He gets way excited about it & he's more satisfied now. I intended to do a BLW approach to solids @ 6 months, but the baby led me to start earlier.
I love bedsharing with him, & now that we've tackled a lot of his sleep issues, I think we'll keep it up for awhile. In some ways I'd like to have him in his co-sleeper or maybe his crib for at least the first part of the night, but then when I actually think about doing it I don't want to. So we'll see. As far as any Ferber/CIO training, I'm firmly committed to not doing it as I heard my mother do it w/ my brother & sister & it really upset me. I just can't see that I could.
For BFing? My goal is to make it to a year, & I may or may not wean after that. We're planning on TTC #2 when Ari is about 1 1/2 years old, & I kind of want my body back for a bit before that. Who knows, he may be BFing & bedsharing till he's 5. I'm not making firm decisions on anything that far out. And I consider myself middle of the road to just shy of hardcore AP.
I consider myself AP-lite for the following reasons:
1. Did very little planning for birth/reading about babies before he was born because I was too anxious about something going wrong and it was hard for me to do anything that assumed I'd have a live baby.
2. I rarely wear him. Maybe 10-15 minutes a day max.
3. I only partially BF and plan to wean him myself.
4. Sending him to daycare and I'll be working full time (technically part time, but in my job, that's a normal person's full time).
I belong to a local AP board that is soooo much more "hardcore" than this one
I enjoy it, but some of the things there wouldn't have even crossed my mind before. I'm glad I'm being exposed to it, and it does give me a lot to think about. But I don't *think* we'll ever do all of that-
I don't think we'll homeschool, I cannot fathom nursing a 5 year old... I don't think I would ever feel comfortable with nursing somebody else's baby, or somebody else nursing Em. I'm more comfortable with donor milk now than I was, but I still don't think I would use it as my first choice. I use the swing/bouncer while she's sleeping, and for 5-10 minute stretches while she's awake when needed...
I consider myself fairly hardcore with breastfeeding, but she has had formula... I say hardcore b/c of the insane lengths I went to to be able to EBF after a reduction. Some may consider me AP-lite b/c I had the surgery at all, though.
I'm definitely AP Lite.
We don't bedshare or co-sleep. We had a bassinet, but she hated it the first night home, so we popped her into her crib out of necessity and that is where she's slept since. Sleep is going great for us (KNOCK ON WOOD) so "if it ain't broke, don't fix it", right?
I don't wear her a ton. I'll wear her when we're out, usually at the grocery store. I'll wear her at home but only when she's fussy and clingy. She does enjoy sitting in the seat on the grocery cart or riding in her stroller for walks. I read her cues and go with what I think she needs.
I did not prepare for the birth at all. I totally planned to have an epi, but because my labor progressed quickly I ended up going without an epi or any drugs.
I just feel that I fit in over here. I respect my DD and always try to take into account her feelings in how I treat her. I do not let her cry, ever, because I know that she needs me and trusts me to take care of her. I think AP is more of an "attitude" than necessarily about the specifics.
Reading this I think people are lumping a lot of things into AP that aren't really AP.
Homeschooling, CDing, organic food...that stuff is great for some families and all but it's not part of AP.
I also think that how AP applies changes according to where your family is at. We still parent our older child using AP principles but it's way different then the things we do with Kate because Ryan needs different things. Just because Ryan sleeps in his own room and I don't wear him anymore (he's 6...it would be a bit silly) doesn't mean we are any less AP. Its just different.
Another poster here who was much more AP when DS was very little and AP-lite now.
Our AP things are still BFing, gentle discipline, and really focusing on DS and what he needs. When he was little, I wore him a lot, although I also used strollers when I needed to, and I never felt bad about that. Now, he's 15 months, and I always use a stroller. We never let DS cry before he was a year old. (Seriously, I think the child never cried.) We used the NCSS when he was 9 months old with great results, but in the last few months, I have, on occasion, let him cry for 2 minutes at a time when he just won't go to sleep any other way. And, I'm good with BFing now, but I may wean him when I decide it's time, without letting him completely decide on his own.
I'm a lot more AP than my friends with kids, but less than some of the posters here.
super ditto. Since when did having to put your baby in daycare mean you are not AP?
I consider myself pretty firmly AP. I won't say hardcore since we did the Deadly Sin of CIO at 15 months out of sheer desperation. DH and I definitely follow DD's cues.
We still BF at 23 months, no solids til 8 months, I didn't have a wrap to wear DD, but I constantly held/hold her (lucky for me, she's light). We coslept for a few months, and rocked to sleep for many, many months. I never liked the swing. We try not to do negative discipline (TO only in rare instances of hitting or biting, no spanking). I heavily researched childbirth and prepared for a natural, med free birth (but you know what happens when you make a plan....).
THANK YOU! I love that at least someone gets it.
I am getting crunchier by the day......
I orginially planned to NEVER bedshare and wean after 6 months, so that should tell you something lol.
I think AP is first and foremost about being responsive to the needs and cues of your baby. Beyond that, I think it's about going back to "natural" and "instinctual" parenting (i.e. breastfeeding on demand, keeping the baby close to you at night, holding the baby frequently, etc.). But that also means allowing the child wean from you when they want to, letting them have their own sleep space when that's how they sleep best, and giving them their time to be "independent" when they're ready. You'll know when your child is ready for these things because you'll know them so well after keeping them close to you all those months.
I consider myself to parent my baby with an AP framework in mind. I breastfeed exclusively, co-sleep, and wear my baby as long as she wants to be held. I follow her schedule instead of trying to get her on my own. I always try to respond to her quickly and appropriately. When the time comes, I will use gentle, rationale discipline. I did my Master's research on attachment parenting, and am only too aware of the importance of maternal sensitivity and responsiveness to a child's long term developmental outcomes.
At the end of the day, I think the most important thing is that you provide a loving, supportive environment for your child, and are responsive to their needs. The label is meaningless.
I think the more important question is, why are we spelling it "lite" instead of "light"?
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Vaccinating has nothing to do with AP.
I think I'm pretty hard-core, but I have no desire to nurse long-term. I am extremely dedicated to the things that will benefit them long-term, though, and always try to foster a healthy attachment. As a mom of "older" kids now, the way I discipline is the most important thing I do. Respect in all areas is key...so in whatever I do, I'm choosing to do it in a respectful way.
Another reason why I'm lite. I thought it was
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