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3rd Trimester
question for moms with more than one child
I need a plan for my toddler, 3 years old, when I go into the hospital
to deliver DD#2 in December. I've read that someone should stay with
DD#1 at my house so she doesn't feel like she's being "moved out" to
make room for baby--I totally agree with this. I told DH that it would
be okay if he didn't stay with me at the hospital this time around b/c
he needs to be home with DD#1, but now I'm remembering how much help he
was to me at the hospital with DD#1--I had a c/s and he handled all the
diaper changes and baby crying jags for those days in the hospital when
I couldn't get out of bed quickly. What is a plan that worked for you
and didn't cause you lots of worry? I don't trust my parents of MIL
with DD#1 for an extended period of time--they are all quite old (over
70) and don't drive well anymore--I would worry too much if they stayed
with her.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: question for moms with more than one child
I don't have any children yet, so maybe this is a completely assanine (sp) idea, and it depends on how old DD1 is. But, what about scheduling a sleep over with one of her best friends. Really build it up, help the mom come up with ideas and activiities so it could be an extra special sleep over.
I konw it's not DD1 being at home like you wanted, but I thought i'd throw it out there. GL
Edit: nevermind, I just reread your post and saw DD1 is only 3, that probably won't work. sorryChemical Pregnancy 10/5/10
BFP 2/7/11--m/c 2/12/11
TTD pics taken by knottie jen&louie
When I had my second son my first stayed with Grandma and Grandpa (in-laws). He really didn't know what was going on except that he was being spoiled rotten while mommy and daddy were busy.
This time my best friend and her husband, who happen to be my son's Godparents, are coming to stay at my house with the boys. It's just much easier this way so that the boys can sleep in their own beds and be at home. We're leaving them the mini-van so that they can get the kids to where they need to be. (My oldest is in preschool.)
That reminds me...I better start working on my "rule" book and important information that my friend is going to need while I am in the hospital.
No really anyone I'm THAT close to--it really is asking a lot for someone to stay overnight on a very uncomfortable hospital bench and assume most nighttime baby duties. I really don't have anyone that close in my life that I feel I could ask to do that. Sisters both live no less than 8 hours away each and have no plans of coming when I have DD#2--they will be coming 3 weeks later for Christmas so they won't be coming for the birth.
Yeah, she's never spent the night away from home and I just don't think this would be the time to try it. If she freaks out, we wouldn't be able to get to her soon and I think that would just add to the stress of the whole situation.
I'm feeling like such a naysayer with all these great suggestions--I'm normally a little more positive, I promise!
All our siblings (which is only 3) live far away (like NYC) or have families with small children themselves. I would feel like I am imposing on them so much to ask, and I already know my sisters won't be coming--they are coming for Christmas 3 weeks later and remind me often how lousy my timing is with this birth!. I'm one of those people who hate to ask for help, and now I'm in a situation where I know I'm going to need it. Also, I just haven't cultivated those kinds of super-close friendships where I feel I could ask for this degree of help. I'm probably just going to tough it out and do it on my own in the hospital, even with the repeat c/s.
Either my mom or DH will be staying w/ my 2.5 y/o. We also won't be sending her somewhere... whoever watches her will be doing so at our house. I think if it'd been routine to do overnighters before now, it'd be a different story, but we don't allow her to stay anywhere w/o us (setting precedents... FIL is an alcoholic and she's not allowed over there w/o us, so we just say 'no overnighters' so as to not cause drama).
I've heard, though, that your second c/s is an easier recovery (esp. if it's a planned c/s and you didn't have hours of labor prior to)... you know what's coming and what to expect, and you're a little more adept at moving with causing the least amount of pain to your incision.
My big thing is the fact that DD can't come visit b/c of the new hospital regs, due to the flu. I'm really going to try to figure out a way around it, as she's never been away from me for more than a few hours. I know it won't kill her, but I figure that this is a big enough adjustment without adding the stress of my absence for days on end. So I'll be wanting DH to be home with her as much as possible while still feeling that he's bonding with DD#2. It's stressing me out that this whole flu thing is going to be splitting up our family at a time when all we want is to be together as a unit (AND when I'll need the most help getting around).
I wish I had a better plan!! GL!!