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Austin Babies
pacifier guilt :(
i know, i know, i don't have to feel guilty, but i do. i gave T a pacifier after her crying fit today. i knew she was tired, but i couldn't get her to calm down to go to sleep. she sucked for 2 minutes, it fell out and she went to sleep.
i've been googling 'pacifier rules' trying to see what i should be aware of. she doesn't need it to go to sleep at night, but in the afternoon she gets really fussy.
any rules that worked for you? or things you wish you had done?
09/21/09 and 08/16/2011
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Re: pacifier guilt :(
I read somewhere that as long as you get rid of it before a certain age, it really won't be all that traumatic. 6 months maybe? We got rid of it at 4 months when we did Ferber. It took 3 days but she lived. Otherwise, for the first 4 months it was definitely our "go to" soother! Babies just love to suck!
Don't feel bad. Each kid is different and some of them just need to suck. Babytaffy had one until right before 3 when he gave it up on his own. I don't feel like a bad parent. He was very much orally fixated and needed the thing. It was also a comfort for him - he never took to any other comfort items, but he loved his binkie.
FWIW, I did worry about messing up his teeth since I'm sensitive to that (I had braces for 6 years and two jaw surgeries including one where I was wired shut for weeks). I took him to the dentist a couple weeks ago and the dentist couldn't even tell DS had been a pacifier user.
Do what is best for you and your family and don't feel guilty. You are going to be faced with many, many parenting decisions. There are very few real hard and fast parenting rules - I think the main ones that you should probably follow are not to shake the baby, not to hit the baby, and to always feed and love the baby. Other than that, everything else is negotiable.
I feel the same way as Taffy. Rhett still has one and honestly, it's not the worst thing in the world. He only used it for sleep until the babies were born. Then he lapsed back into wanting it more. He has had his whole world turned upside down so we have been lenient about it, and are now trying to get it back to a sleep only thing. I know he will eventually give it up. I worry about his teeth too, so we do use the orthodontic ones and hope for the best! I definitely wouldn't feel guilty about it if I were you. If you can get rid of it by 6 months, great. If not that's okay too. Just do what works best for y'all.
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There are no "rules." Do what you feel is best.
We were anti-paci until about 8 weeks and now we use it quite a bit to settle her down for naps/bedtime. We're going to get rid of it eventually, but I'm more concerned about her getting quality sleep at this point.
Dude, we buckled while we were still in the hospital! You go into it thinking you will do or not do all these things, but when you find something that helps- do it! Baby411 says to get rid of it by 4 months, so that was our plan, but both LO's dropped it before that. With DD, we were thrilled. With DS, we kept trying our hardest to get him to keep taking it, but he was done.
I'm glad it helped calm her and get her to sleep!
Her dentist always told me it wouldn't hurt her tooth placement as long as she quit before her permanent teeth came in.
She chose to quit herself when it hurt to suck while her front two teeth were loose. Perfect solution.
I always operated under the advice that babies have a NEED to suck and her need was being satisfied. (to a certain age, then I understand it was an emotional crutch for her but she needed it at that time in our lives!)
Don't feel bad.
you ladies are the best!! as an only child who never even changed a diaper til 2 years ago,!! i mainly learned baby stuff from books. none of my friends (besides you ladies) have kids that live in austin. so i didn't get any practice or time to learn from them.
thank you, thank you, thank you
DH & I are both only children so we have had to rely very heavily on outside resources. BUT...I will say that there really is no better resource than your instinct/gut. The books can only take you so far, but you (& your DH) are really the only ones that can dictate how you choose to raise your child. The advice I've gotten from the Mom's here has been GREAT, but we have ultimately made the choices that have worked best for our family.
Don't beat yourself up over the parenting decisions you make (hell...DD has been a tummy sleeper since 8 weeks old). So long as you aren't blatantly putting her in harm's way, it's pretty hard to "screw up" your child at this point. Continue to give her lots of love & attention (like I know you are), and the rest will work itself out as you go.