- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Trying to Get Pregnant
rrcraz7
member
SIL & TTC discussions
rrcraz7
member
This is our first month actively TTC and we are not telling anyone AT ALL. When people ask if we are trying we say "not right now". I feel bad lying BUT it's not something I want to discuss with anyone and rightly so in my mind.
My SIL asks every single time we see her, at least once a week! It's getting on my nerves. Last night I told her to stop asking because; A. it's not her business and B. we will never say "yes" to that question.
She got really mad at me and said "we're family and it's family business". She is currently not speaking to me.
I know she will just have to get over it and I know that my uterus does not need to be public info; but I'm curious if anyone else has really pushy family members in reguards to this? How do you respond?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: SIL & TTC discussions
Wow, so not family business!
I think you handled it fine and I'm sure she'll get over it. I just kind of gloss over the question when my mother or MIL mention things. They're trying not to be pushy, I know, but they're getting impatient.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this, especially with an in-law. My sister asks me every time I see her (which is not too often) and sometimes randomly texts me asking. It is partly her personality so I can laugh it off. However, now that we really are trying I'm going to tell her to knock it off. I'm going to say something like "What if we actually are trying and having a lot of trouble? Then I would feel really terrible every time you ask me about it." She'll get the point.
Obviously this is my sister who I am very close with despite her annoying habits
With a SIL I would probably ask DH to deal with it and say something similar. You have every right to keep it private. It's YOUR family business, not extended family business, unless you want it to be.
Good luck!
Ever since I started working from home (about a month ago), everyone thinks its the perfect time for me to ttc. And yes, it's true that we have been ttc, but it's not everyone's business.
I have 2 friends that badger me about it, but I keep telling them that dh isn't ready yet. I have a mom that I talk to and lie to everyday and it is really hard. I know my mom is going to be really hurt that I didn't tell her, but it is between dh and me. We want to leave it that way for now.
It may be "family business" but it's my opinion that it's not the family's business until you feel ready to tell them. For now, they just need to respect you and your dh's feelings on the matter. Don't let them make you feel bad.
I have had family members that push to know. It bothers me at times. Especially the family members that say things about wanting a baby in the family, and question when we are going to TTC. It is the business of you and your husband, bottom line. It is NOT the business of the entire family.
We're on our 3rd cycle and made the mistake of telling some family members that we're TTC. My MIL asks me everytime she sees me if I'm KU I finally said to her, "You know... it could take a really long time for us to conceive... it doesn't always just happen over night so stop asking... you'll be one of the first ones to know when we are KU."
Surprisingly she took that really well and hasn't asked anymore. Maybe if you assured her that she's important and you'll make sure that she's well informed when the time comes she'll chill out a little?
I think you handled it correctly. It really isn't her business.
When people ask us, we say we are waiting 10 years
That usually ends the conversation right then and there. It is a lie but wth, they are being rude by even asking.
I know you said SIL not MIL but someone just sent this to me and... well...it's funny
lmao, love it!
HAHAHA...ohh I know SIL is asking for MIL to it's only a matter of time until the double team me.
Yeah, it's definitely a tough situation because I think people mean well, but they just don't understand what they're asking unless they've been through it.
A lot of people know we are trying to conceive at this point because we had a miscarriage and I felt wrong not telling my parents about it. My dad, though, had been in the habit of constantly saying things like, "This ball would be great for a grandson;" "We'll do that when we can do it with our grandson." My mom kept yelling at him.
I say just handle it however you feel is best. I tend to tell everyone everything, so a lot of people know. I need moral support.
Wow, she is a beast. I would have said the same thing. I do not have a SIL but I have 2 BIL's and one of them has this GF that he KU after knowing her for 3 months.
I hate her (If you read the confessions post last night, you would have seen that I know he is cheating.) She is a horrible human being in general, as is he.
At our wedding she was 7 months pregnant and kept nudging me, on our wedding night, about trying. Eventually I told her that just becuase she thinks it is a game to get married and have kids,(She has been divorced twice and already has 2 kids with two of the men, she is only 28) I have no interest in playing this as a game, this is serious and it is OUR life. Not needing any input from you. She still nags me when I see her so I make it a point not to see her.
Maybe it's just me, but the fact that this is your SIL and not your sister is even more annoying.
I would say something like "We'll let you know when we're there. Don't worry - you'll be one of the first to know!" That way she feels appeased but also hears that it's something you guys get to control.
You are right - it's your body and it's not Family business. She has no right.
No it's not just you. It's extremely annoying that its my SIL and not my sister. I wouldn't tell my sister either but at least I have an established relationship with my sister.
I've fielded questions from plenty of other people but none have pushed as much as her. She is constantly interferring in every decision we make. For example, we decided not put a fence in for our dogs and she called us irresponsible and cheap. UMM yeah, dropping $2000 on a fence that doesn't add property value when we don't mind and actually enjoy walking our dogs. She felt it's what she would do and didn't let up for a month about how cheap we were being.
Obviously our baby making activities would be scrutinized!