- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Working Moms
MarriedBestFriends
member
XP: Daycare's fuuck up --giving DD the wrong bottle!
MarriedBestFriends
member
in Working Moms
I'm copying this from an email I just wrote to save my fingers from some labor so I apologize if there are any formatting issues. ?This is why I spent my afternoon crying and left work at 1:00.?
?
I generally like our daycare. It's highly regarded and the staff is excellent. However. ?
I received a call/voicemail at 12:45 today.
"Hi, MarriedBestFriends? This is Assistant, the assistant director at the daycare. DD is ok....but.....I need you to call me right away."
So I call. She sounds defeated and saddened the second I say my name. She proceeds to tell me that DD was FED THE WRONG BOTTLE. With SOMEBODY ELSE'S BREASTMILK IN IT AND FORMULA IN IT TOO.?
At 10:00. 3 HOURS PREVIOUSLY. She had "only had 3 ounces" and then they hadn't fed her anything else(!!!!!!!!) until they gave her her own bottle at noon (!!!!!!!!!).?
I flipped my fuucking lid. I called the pediatrician and the nurse went to chat with a doctor and get back to me. She said obviously first, on a child with a dairy sensitivity who doesn't ever have formula, that will most likely upset her tummy a bit. Second, the concerns are of HIV, Hepatitis A, B and C transmissions, and any medications/drugs that the other mother was taking.
I had an even bigger break-down.
I got in my car, drove to the daycare and demanded to talk to the directors. They were both sitting in Assistant's office and looked, as I mentioned before, defeated. I demanded to know how this happened, how they were going to prevent it in the future, who this other mother is, what kind of formula it was, and on and on. I guess they spent the 3 hours inbetween the feeding and notification of me figuring out the protocol for this. They spent 3 hours covering their asssses without calling me. I about shiit myself and them at that point. Then they went onto tell me that it was baby XYZ's mother/bottle, and that she is in the medical field and was aghast herself at this, and is negative for everything, on no meds and even offered to have labs drawn for me. I have her home number and I'll call her later. I can see a lifelong friendship forming here- remember me? My child drank your breastmilk??
The directors proceeded to tell me that they couldn't think of a better system than the one they had in place (i.e. labeling everything- bottles, trays that the bottles are in in the fridge, etc.). I expressed my concern that there had been a sub in the room who was now gone and obviously it was her who made the mistake (they wouldn't admit that) but also hammered that it shouldn't be her burden- the burden should fall on their other staff members to make sure she is supplementing their policies and procedures. I then told them that I had a better system for them- they needed to verbally validate with another teacher that this child was, in fact, X child and this also was, in fact, X's bottle. . They appreciated the input, looked surprised at the suggestion and said that would be the policy from now on.?
I brought her home where she won't stop crying- or fall asleep. I know her mouth hurts her as she's severely teething for the first time but now I can tell her stomach does too.?
Insert the part of the story where I call an awesome center in our same city crying and the owner works magic to get DD in starting in February. Although 3 more months at this center upsets me.
Especialy since when I layed her down for her nap there was a piece of tape on her back to said "DD". Now we're labeling the children in order not to fuuck up.
?
I understand that we're all human. But this is unacceptable. ?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: XP: Daycare's fuuck up --giving DD the wrong bottle!
OMG I would be FURIOUS too.
I am so sorry to hear this happened - I hope your DD starts feeling better soon!!!!!!!
HOLY CRAP. I don't even know what to say besides I'm SO SORRY. What a distressing experience... If this happened to my child, I would have done, felt, and said exactly what you are... I work in Quality Assurance in a HOSPITAL... so yes, fu$k ups occur, but there are things we call "never events." These are things that should NEVER happen, but/if they do, it's a huge ordeal and a major thing... There is ALWAYS a root cause of why an error occured, even if it is "human error." From reading your post, and working in QA myself I think they CAN improve their daycare policies and procedures. I think their process was broken and they are not willing to fix it because they are on the defensive. What went wrong was their failure to provide adequate training and communication to a SUB teacher. This teacher probably didn't know the kids by name, didn't know what their bottles looked like, and didn't care to double check with people who DID know. The center should have provided the sub with information such as... "Baby 1 drink formula from a Dr. Brown's Bottle. Here it is. Baby 2 drinks BM from an Avent bottle. Here it is. Baby 3 drink formual and BM from a glass bottle, here it is. Make sure to double check the label before giving it to the kid, and ask another teacher what the kid's name is.." This obviouslly didn't happen.
Thank goodness the mom who's bm your DC drank is "clean." I'd still take her up on that offer to see her labs...
Ditto this. It happened, move on. If you are that unhappy, why are you leaving your kid there for 3 more months? Pull her out now, if this is that big of a deal to you.
Whatever The_Jen. Your opinion matters nothing here, seeing as this is regarding my "slow preemie". ?
Seriously? How about you go find that original post and read exactly what I wrote, instead of just assuming you know what I said. Kthanks.
I don't think she over reacted. This is exposure to a bodily fluid and a doctor knows how serious this can be. Breast milk can transmit diseases, so yes I would be pissed. This happened to a coworker of mine, only it was her milk given to another baby.
Personally, I don't know if I would want to send her back if the daycare couldn't pin point where the break down occured and how to fix it. That's great the other center can take her in 3 months, but what about the next 3 months? I would be looking for other child care arrangements.
ITA.
Put yourself in the other mom's shoes. Your BM has been fed to another baby. BM you worked pretty damm hard for. You know you're healthy, don't have any diseases, etc., yet the other mom insists that you get tested. But your insurance doesn't cover it. What then?
It was an honest mistake, one that the center didn't try to cover up. I understand why you're upset, but I think your response was a bit overboard.
I am 99% sure that Alisa is a doctor...
I never insisted that she be tested. In fact, she and I just chatted over the phone and she insisted on bringing me her records stating that she is HIV and Hep. negative. I tried to decline but she was adamant, stating that she would want them. So why was my response overboard??
Mistakes happen and your baby will be fine as you learned. I wouldn't pull my kid - they called you and are coming up with a solution. I am sure they are upset it happened. A crappy daycare wouldn't have called........
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
Would I be upset? yes. Would I want to talk about this and find out how it happened and what they plan to do to make sure it doesn't happen again? Yes. Absolutely.
But maybe it's just a personality thing, but I just don't get the "Crying all afternoon" over it, or the "demanding" to talk to them, "demanding" to know what happened. Did you think they weren't going to talk to you?
Plus, as the pp said, if the mother is supplying breast milk to her own child, chances are pretty darn high that she actually is healthy.
I just feel like there are far worse things that could happen to my child than this, far worse things that would illicit such an emotional reaction from me.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I also wouldn't assume they were "covering their a$$es". They were trying to figure out how it happened, who did what, and get all their facts straight so that they could relay accurate information to you.
If you really believe otherwise, then yes, why are you leaving her there for another 3 months?
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I completely agree with this. My guess is this sort of thing happens more frequently than people ever find out about it. DD gets some of my BM in a sippy cup every day. Yesterday when I went to pick her up, her sippy was sitting on a low table, it still had a little BM in it. Another little guy crawled over, grabbed it and took a swig or two before I saw and could get it away from him. Am I going to call the other mom? Nope. I have no communicable diseases. If I did, I would tell her. Of course I wouldn't be BF'ing DD if that were the case. I'm not saying you should be happy about this, but it's really not the end of the world.
This! They could have easily hidden this from you. I think it's to their credit that they called you and were concerned enough to meet for several hours, trying to figure out a reasonable solution. I think they are taking it seriously, which is something I would look for in a dcp.
Count me in the "you've over-reacted" group.
It was a 1-time thing. They called you to proactively admit their mistake. The other Mom cooperated. People make mistakes. YOU make mistakes. Unless you want them to institute a bar-code system like hospitals use, I'd thank them for their honesty and get over it.
Maybe it's because I had NO control over what happened for the first 9 months of my children's lives, but get some perspective and move on. Your kid has a tummy ache. It will pass and someday you won't even remember it.
I would be upset too. I don't know if I'd switch DCP if I was happy with the center overall, but I would have definitely shared my concerns with the directors.
I think this happens more than we know. I witnessed a boy at DD's daycare put down his bottle of EBM and two other kids picked it up and put it in their mouths before I took it away. It was almost empty, but still gross. I know the mom and would trust her as clean, and I guess lucky for me we were the only two BF'ers in the classroom.
I *think* DD's teachers (probably a sub) accidentally put cow's milk in her bottle of EBM twice, when they were supposed to put soy, because we know she has a dairy allergy. She's been on soy with no problems (and tested negative for allergies), but just these two times she had a reaction, the same as her dairy reaction.
I'm so sorry this happened!!!
Here are some more suggestions if it is any help at all....my daycare uses color coded labels for all children's belongings. Joey is red. So everything of his is labeled with a red circle sticker, including bottles. the labels also have his name on it.
They have a witness sign off for every feeding for every baby. So Jess is feeding him, looks over at Jeanie and says "Jeanie, this is Joey. I'm feeding Joey's bottle now." jeanie has to look at the bottle and her initials are placed onthe sheet.
Also, they have "bands" that go around any breastmilk bottles. They are not color coded, but it is an extra tactile reminder that there is breastmilk inside this bottle.
I just wanted to say I don't think that you overreacted at all, I am surprised that so many people here think that you did. Breastmilk is a bodily fluid and can transmit diseases, regardless of whether or not the other mom is "clean" what if in another instance or for another child, she wasn't? IMO this is a big mistake for a day care provider to make, yes, mistakes happen, but this is a biggie when your sole responsibility is to keep a child safe, healthy, etc... feeding should be one of those basic things you shouldn't even have to think twice about, especially as you mention that your LO has a dairy sensitivity.
If you have an opportunity to do so, I would keep LO at home with a nanny or babysitter or family until you can get into the other daycare center. If it were me, I wouldn't be able to trust the center after this.
GL and hugs!!