Telling my boss tomorrow--advice?

Dr.Loretta · October 2009

We decided that I would tell my boss about our adoption plans as soon as our HS was officially done. It just came in the mail today. In the meantime, we should have all of our profile stuff done by the end of next week, expecting to go active mid November.

Any advice on what to say/not to say when I tell him? I want to make it clear to him that going active doesn't = "I'm leaving tomorrow", but that plans need to be made. I do not plan on returning after the baby comes.

ksmeg78 · October 2009

I personally would not tell my employer this early, but I am not big on sharing so I realize that may not be a common opinion. If you feel you want to, I definitely would not tell them you are not coming back unless you are okay with them laying you off in the event of cuts because I think that does make you more of a target if they know you are leaving anyway. I would just stick to the fact that you are excited to tell him/her that are pursuing adoption and that it could be anywhere from one month to a year (or whatever) that you are matched with a birth mother, but you wanted to let them know because you know it will take awhile to train whoever to do your job and you want her to be prepared to take over for you during your FMLA and that although there is usually a few months of notice between being matched and the birth, sometimes there is less time and that's why you want to start now so they can be prepared. Or something like that.

Cissi64 · October 2009

I agree with PP. DON"T TELL THEM YOU AREN"T COMING BACK! They will cut you loose if times get tough(er). I do think it is wise to tell them about the adoption plans but I might even wait until you are officially active, They need to know that you might be called away suddenly.

Dr.Loretta · October 2009

I don't consider this early at all. I want to give him some sort of heads up since a match could potentially come quickly (though I am aware that it could take several months).

I don't plan on telling him I'm not coming back. Heck, if we get a placement in my state, the timeframe for the birthmom to change her mind is a few weeks, so there's always the possibility we could get a placement and have it fall through.

Keep that advice coming!

MyColonyNJ · October 2009

I really have no advice, but I wanted to wish you GOOD LUCK

Alicia_22 · October 2009

Good Luck to you!!! I told mine when we first decided to go the adoption route because she actually has adopted 2 children herself. She has been very supportive and asks about it all the time!

Cissi64 · October 2009

Duh! I forgot! GOOD LUCK!! I hope you get a match soon and it is with a woman who has a firm conviction that she wants to place with little regret!

lilmufish · October 2009

Am i too late?

I think it's important to have an action plan set in place...so "when" I get the call this is what needs to happen for ME and this is what needs to happen for the company/agency. I think it's important to work together in order to make that happen.

I know when a friend of mine was going through adoption her boss had a red folder that had "Emergency! Jessica's picking up her baby!" that was to be updated each week so that whoever took over her position had the emergency directions to at least get them started.

Hope it goes well for you!

Bill&Jen1 · October 2009

I don't have any advice but I wanted to say congrats on the completion of your home study and good luck with everything.

I hope today goes smoothly for you.

Telling my boss tomorrow--advice?

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