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Blended Families
Finances
After waiting for months, we finally received BM's financial affidavit. She is a SAHM, but she's not had a job for over a year and not to stay at home with SD, she actually can't keep a job because of her felon status that she fails to mention on her applications.
Anyways, she listed half of rent and all the bills as her responsibility even though her husband pays all of that with his salary. After it was all said and done, her affidavit shows her over $800 in the hole every month. How can she claim what her responsiblity would be when she doesn't pay for those things?
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Re: Finances
Well if you?re going to use the word 'responsibility' then she is basically correct. It is not her DH's 'responsibility' to pay all the rent and bills, it may be his choice but not his responsibility. So yes BM is responsible for her half, if she is getting them paid for her well and good, but she is responsible for them just by signing her name to them - KWIM?
Also it certainly is not her DH responsibility to put a roof over your SDs head, your DH is responsible for that.
He does put a roof over SD's head at our house. He isn't her only parent and shouldn't be the only person responsible for providing for her. I just don't get how you can list bills as yours when you don't pay them, that was my point.
Well, with joint finances you ARE paying everything whether you work or not.All the money in a marriage is BOTH SPOUSES money.
Honestly and this might not be a popular viewpoint...I think it *is* the NCPs responsibility to provide more than the CP. If it isn't 50/50 care of the child then the CP is doing more and therefore may (or definitely could) be less likely to be able to work as much, etc.
I totally agree with this.
DREW I'm not being snarky with you I?m just saying that for example...
if she has a mobile phone in her name then she is responsible to the phone company for that bill. If her DH pay's it well and good BUT she is responsible to make sure it is paid. Why would she not list it as a bill after all it comes out of her household money?
This is almost certainly something that her lawyer encouraged her to do. When I had to submit my financial affidavit, I had just moved to a new city, so I was living with my parents (and had no income). So even though I was mooching off my parents, I was actively looking for a job. My lawyer told me to estimate my living expenses in my affidavit rather than just put zeros for everything. Since I HAD to work and would soon have expenses, she said it would be misrepresenting things to act like I had no expenses. kwim?
Me estimating expenses didn't at all work negatively against my ex, since we also included an estimated income based on my last full time job. Had I included zero income, his support amount would have been higher.
A year later during mediation (and after I'd been working full time for several months), my ex tried to claim I wasn't really paying my parents rent, and that my father was retired and could watch the kiddo and so I didn't have a need for CS. Fortunately, I had canceled checks and bank statements to prove that I was paying them $500/month. My lawyer also pointed out that neither my ex nor his lawyer could compel my father to watch my child every day.
Do you not have joint finances? If your husband gets a bonus is it just his money or do you share it? Is the mortgage in both of your names?
I don't get why you don't understand the concept of joint finances. It really isn.t that difficult.
I'd say yes?she can't have it both ways. If you go with joint expenses, you need to go with joint income.
When DH and I got married, the BM of my 2 SD's argued for months with us that my income counted but her husbands didn't. She thought that because DH was responsible for paying CS that my income should be calculated as well so she could get more $. She quit argueing when she finally talked to a lawyer that told her the new spouses incomes didn't matter in the calculation.
I had to fill out one of those things and those things truly did not matter. My state has a calculation set up that goes off of how much I make and how much BD makes. I could have put whatever I wanted for bills and it made no difference.
So, BM is a felon and can't keep a job- that sucks. But, I still don't think her husband's income should be counted just like I wouldn't think your income should be counted.
I agree with this entirely. It has nothing to do with not wanting to pay child support, but for it to honestly be a fair number. This is coming from a blended family where the BF has always paid CS and has been active in DS life...
I have also been the child in the battle of the blended family and those bio parents who have active exes in the childs life should be grateful, and remember all of the custodial parents who don't get any help at all... I know this doesnt fit all situations, but I had to add my vent to this as well since we are going through this kind of issue right now too, but not as bad.
I think what I am trying to say is that if you are re-married and you have joint bills and that is taken into account to determine CS even if the Bio Parent doesnt work but the spouse does - shouldnt the spouses income be considered as Joint income since that is where the money is coming from to pay said bills. When this doesnt happen the non custodial parent winds up paying much more in CS and then has a hard time making things work in their home. It's pretty sad...