3rd Trimester

perhaps flame worthy

Why do so many ladies on here care about everyone else's feelings/opinions. When choosing a name people feel they need to check with family and friends friends (its YOUR child). Parents-to-be are getting all worked up about what take home outfit to put their child in, as to not upset someone who gave you "the perfect picture outfit". Every nursery idea needs to be passed on to mom or MIL before you can start. Really poeple?

 maybe i'm just a b!tch, but the only persons opinion i care about is DH.

 

Re: perhaps flame worthy

  • totally agree with you. This is number 3 for us and we never tell names in advance because we don't want/care about what others think of it, just what we think and what's right for our family. Same for visitors (will have none during flu season), decorating, child raising, etc. No one's business but ours.
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  • well aren't you jsut pleasant today....Indifferent
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  • imageballugurl:
    well aren't you jsut pleasant today....Indifferent

    lol!  I did kinda wonder where this came from. 

  • Bc we are women and in general we over analyze just about everything, even down to what we buy when we are out with our friends.
  • Sure, at the end of the day, the only opinions (in regards to this baby) that matter are mine and DH's.  But some people are more indecisive than others.  I have a hard time making up my mind about some things - especially on something as permanent as a name.  I don't ask for family's or friends' opinions on that IRL - but I might do it on here, just to get some general feedback.
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  • just a suggestion, but im under the impression the bumpies here dont like a person who comes over from another board and immediately starts drama. we're on this board because we enjoy getting other opinions!
  • imagekimkeating:
     

     Every nursery idea needs to be passed on to mom or MIL before you can start. Really poeple?

    This is awful lol...I would die if I had to "pass things" by the In laws or anyone for that matter. As for the rest of your post...

    I don't think the ladies on here depend on answers to choose a name, or a coming home outfit, or a color for the nursery, or to really tell them if they are in labor or not...It's called just getting peoples opinions. Why are you on the Bump if this bothers you? lol that's all this web site is, asking questions and opinions on what other Moms are doing.

  • Wow, welcome to 3rd tri.

  • imageSthrnbell:
    Bc we are women and in general we over analyze just about everything, even down to what we buy when we are out with our friends.

    This.

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  • Some people are just concensus builders who need to seek the approval of others before making even minute decisions.  I think it's pretty harmless if that's how they want to decide on a name, going home outfit, or paint color.  It just scares me when people take this approach when it comes to their health- i.e. when to call their doctor, whether to get the flu shot, etc.
  • no drama...i just dont understand women.

    i didnt necessary mean getting opinions from women on here. but everyone is so worried about hurting friends/families feelings.
  • imagewhit022109:
    just a suggestion, but im under the impression the bumpies here dont like a person who comes over from another board and immediately starts drama. we're on this board because we enjoy getting other opinions!

    THIS!!!

    I think everyone just likes to know that they are doing the right thing. Or just the general support of women in the same situation.

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  • imagekimkeating:
    no drama...i just dont understand women.

    No drama? Honey you started the drama with this post. Not a good way to come to the 3rd Trimester lol

  • and if you didnt care about anyone else's opinion then why are you even on the bump?
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  • imagekimkeating:
    no drama...i just dont understand women.

    Wow, so 3rd Trimester PG women is where you chose to start venting?  Bad choice!

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  • Getting opinions is just that.  GETTING OPINIONS.  You're probably not going to listen to 99% of what is said, BUT you may find that other women have some awesome ideas that may add that little touch you were looking for.

     But, that's my opinion

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  • It confuses me as to why you are bothered about other people asking for opinions but you yourself posted a question asking others opinions on how they are picking their baby's middle name.  That's a little like the pot calling the kettle, now isn't it?
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  • Some people are more open than others.  I share whatever with whomever (within reason), particularly with family members.  I've very rarely encountered anyone who had a negative opinion on whatever I shared with them (at least that they've expressed to me), but if they did, well, ooooh well. I think most of the women who come on here to talk about those types of things that people have said to them are truly surprised and just upset that they're fielding such negativity from people that they care about and who are supposed to be supportive.

    Those of you who don't share with family members... well, I think in a lot of circumstances you've learned either from your experience or from others that people can't criticize what they don't know.  In other cases, you're just private people who don't care to share the details of your lives w/ everyone.  And that's okay, too.  

    The ones who are concerned about hurting feelings?  Well, sometimes that comes from the insecurities of being a FT parent, sometimes it comes from being non-confrontational and not wanting to hurt feelings.  Eventually, in most cases, people get over it and do their own thing, but I don't see a problem with them coming here for advice/support in the mean time.  YOU might not care about what others think, but I don't think it's necessarily fair to hold everyone else to the same standard. 

  • but, i dont care if people like the name i chose. thats all im getting at.

    chill ladies.  innocent question got outta control.

  • For me I'm not looking for opinions, I'm just sharing. MIL and my mom have learned to keep their opinions to theirselves, because they know when I share something, my mind is made up.
  • imagekimkeating:

    but, i dont care if people like the name i chose. thats all im getting at.

    chill ladies.  innocent question got outta control.

    Welcome to 3rd tri.  You knew that it was "Perhaps flame worthy" . . .  you knew where you were heading when you posted this. 

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  • imagekimkeating:

    but, i dont care if people like the name i chose. thats all im getting at.

    chill ladies.  innocent question got outta control.

    The title of the post is prehaps flame worthy, obviously, you knew you were going to get these types of responses.  I'm just saying!

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  • Hey OP guess what, I don't care about your opinion on why other people care about opinons so much.
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  • Isn't that the purpose of message boards?  To discuss things?  I thought that was why people discussed things and asked opinions over here.  Just a thought.  
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  • ::::Kicks OP back to 2nd Trimester:::::::

    Confused

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  • I think most of the time, women are just sharing their name and people come at them with their rude comments about how they don't like a name, a nursery, or whatever.  I don't think it's that women care so much about what others think, but it's that people shove their opinions down your throat as soon as they find out you're expecting.
  • imageFLVintageBride:
    Some people are just concensus builders who need to seek the approval of others before making even minute decisions.  I think it's pretty harmless if that's how they want to decide on a name, going home outfit, or paint color.  It just scares me when people take this approach when it comes to their health- i.e. when to call their doctor, whether to get the flu shot, etc.

    Right. I think asking opinions about nurseries, onesies, and names are harmless and these topics help pass the time for some people. But it boggles my mind when people come here asking internet strangers for opinions on serious medical issues when everyone here seems to be under the care of a doctor.  

  • OP:  Read a book called "Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps" by Barbara and Allen Pease and you'll understand why women want other people's opinions and why they want validation from family members.

    Also, lurk a little on a board before running your mouth- you have 58 posts total so far and this was not a good way to start out on 3rd tri.  You start a post with "perhaps flame worthy" and end with "maybe I'm just a b!tch" and expect not to get some upset women?  Let's think about this....

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