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Attachment Parenting
food should never be a reward (vent)
I just found out that my DD's 1st grade teacher uses candy (M&M's) as a reward for turning in homework on time and for other small accomplishes. Im sorry but I cannot understand why a teacher would think that is okay.
My DD came home all upset because I forgot to sign her homework sheet and she had to wait in the hall while the other kids got to eat their M&M's!!! First off, I dont know where you get off sending her in the hallway and secondly, if your using food to motivate a child then you need to go back to school and refine your teaching skills. When she told me that she had to sit in the hallway for 10 minutes, I cried! Its not her fault...shes 6 years old for crying out loud. Someone needs to teach that teacher some positive discipline because I am pretty sure that isolating and child and making them feel bad about themselves just cruel.
Am I overreacting? Would you call and complain?
vent over...thanks for listening
This discussion has been closed.
Re: food should never be a reward (vent)
Reward systems are pretty common in public schools... it may not be the best teaching method, but it's easy and a lot of students do respond. The push for intrinsic vs. extrinsic is really new. Even a lot of really good teachers use it. Special Education is still REALLY reward based.
I wouldn't be bothered by the use of rewards, or the use of food as rewards, but I wouldn't like them sending a 6 year old into the hall unsupervised. Plus, why would she need to go to the hall.. it's not like it takes a 1st grader long to eat M&Ms.
I personally wouldn't call... and if you do call, bear in mind that there are two versions to every story. If you go in attacking, it will not be well received.
As a teacher, I would appreciate if a parent would let me know that they disagreed with a strategy that I use.
That being said. I find it very odd that she would use food/candy as a reward. We have all kinds of rules in place that discourage providing any kind of food to students. Additionally, putting a child that young out in the hall is completely uncalled for.
I would call and express that you have some concerns. Ask her homework policy/ rewards etc. Then share what your dc told she experienced. Let her know that you support her in maintaining a strong home/school connection but what happened to your child simply cannot happen again.
Follow up with an email (paper trail) and then if anything remotely similiar happens again then I would share all of the info with the administration. GL
No, I never would do that. Im just upset right now because we try to be healthy and teach that food is not a bribe/reward/motivational force.
Thanks for your advice
Thats all very good advice, I will do that
thanks!
My problem isn't the food as a reward...it's the shaming that happens when the student doesn't get the reward and the other students know about it. I will NEVER be in favor of that and did stand up and say that I wasn't comfortable with that kind of a system.
I would address it. #1- I would be po'd if a teacher were feeding my kid candy throughout the day. No, I can't protect her from it forever, but unless she's having the kids brush their teeth once a day, it's awful for developing teeth and goes against how we eat and #2- the hallway thing would piss me off. When I was a kid my house burned down- I was 7. My parents sent me to school the next day so they could handle it. I was the only kid in the class who didn't have my library books and I got scolded and had to put my head down in the next classroom while my class went to libraryand I cost the class an extra recess. I was ostracized by classmates for costing them the extra recess and cried for months about missing library. It really damaged my psyche and it wasn't even my fault (I was too afraid to tell the teacher why I didn't have them, or that I would never have them)... and I can still feel the sadness 27 years later. Do that to my kid? You'll hear about it.
ETA: Having been a teacher, my approach would be to ask for a conference to get the facts and share my concerns. The paper trail, to me is kind of a "threat."
I am really surprised to hear this. Most schools have banned sugar based food rewards. I have been teaching for 11 years and only worked one year in a district that allowed it. A sugar based treat would bother me but not enough to say anything about that part of the issue. A treat should be used for going above and beyond, not for accomplishing the basics that are expected of you. That is one method of not leaving children out, so to speak, because there will always be plenty of kids who don't go the extra step.
A child, or several children, should NEVER be left in the hallway while others enjoy a treat. That goes against every teaching and safety method there is. I would definitely follow up with the teacher in a non-aggressive way, as suggested above. I would start with an email explaining that you were confused about something your daughter told you and would like to meet with the teacher to get the full story. After the meeting you can send her a thank you email and reiterate what you guys discuss in the meeting. That is a nonthreatening paper trail. All in all, I would be very bothered by this and definitely take it up with the teacher. Good luck, let us know what happens!