Those that had a C-section:

NMH0783 · October 2009

Hi there!

I'm jumping over from the third tri board wit a quick question:

Those of you that had a c-section: was your DH, FI, SO in the room with you? My FI decided he can't be in the room with me because the sight of blood will make him pass out. Yes, this IS true, but I'm afraid he'll miss the moment our son is born and regret it later. For those of you that didnt have your DH in the room, does he regret it?

TIA!

MrsPreK · October 2009

DS - No. I was knocked out and no one was allowed in the room. Yes, he regretted it and I was scared. After 24 hours of labor then having THAT happen. It sucked.

DD - Yes. Sat next to me.

FWIW - There is a sheet up - he does not have to look at anything.

tabi_ja · October 2009

They put up a big sheet around where they were operating, so DH never saw anything he didn't want to.

katypresson · October 2009

I had a c/s. My DH was with me the.entire.time. He never left the hospital the entire stay. Tell your FI to suck it up! He doesn't even have to see blood since he can stay up by your face (there's a curtain at your chest so you can't see anything either).

hmarsano · October 2009

My DH held my hand and watched the WHOLE THING! Now, he usually has the worst gag reflex and can't stand the sight of blood, but he said it was the most amazing thing he has ever seen! I think the adrenaline takes over

AMYfromKY · October 2009

My DH actually stood up so he could look over the sheet. He kept telling me what was going on. haha.

If he doesn't like blood he can just sit down and he won't see a thing. He does not want to miss this.

tanya8 · October 2009

DH was in the room. They put up a curtain so you dont see, and your FI wont see anything he doesnt want to. He can sit and hold your hand until they swaddle baby up...

dle927 · October 2009

DH was in the room. There is no blood to be seen since a sheet is placed blocking the view. I had some minor complications and it took a liitle longer and I lost a lot of blood....still didn't see anything.

Amber&Jesse · October 2009

Yep, he was in the room with me. He sits behind the sheet by your head and doesn't have to look or anything if he doesn't want too. I wanted him there for me. I was scared and needed him to be with me. Also, DH said he didn't want to look or see but he did when he was in there. I think any DH would regret not being there.

brinkly · October 2009

He was going to be in the room but the spinal did not work so they ended up having to put me out completely - they wouldn't allow him to be in the room at that point.

rosesandpeonies · October 2009

my husband is the worst when anyone gets hurt, or when there is blood. He sat next to me and sat behind the sheet, but when she was born he stood up and took her picture. He was so happy and excited he didn't care about seeing the blood and me opened up. Im glad I didnt see myself that way though

Ambabyh · October 2009

DH was in the room and took a lot of pictures...that he has shown to everyone lol

NMH0783 · October 2009

katypresson:
Tell your FI to suck it up!

I've done so...but he's a big wuss. I think for him (and me) its just that he has no idea what to expect, so he's a bit freaked out. I REALLY want him there though. My mom so far is taking over, but its just not the same.... Maybe I should bribe him.. Huh?

Mysticblossom21 · October 2009

NMH0783:

katypresson:
Tell your FI to suck it up!

I've done so...but he's a big wuss. I think for him (and me) its just that he has no idea what to expect, so he's a bit freaked out. I REALLY want him there though. My mom so far is taking over, but its just not the same.... Maybe I should bribe him..

Honestly, I would leave the conversation alone until it is time to actually time to go into the OR for the c/s. At that moment, I would tell FI this is his last chance to see his LO be born and tell him he will regret missing this moment. By then, his adrenaline will be flowing from the excitement and feeling overwhelmed that he will probably go in. DH was there and he wouldn't have missed it for the world.

coconutbug · October 2009

I have an extremely squeamish DH (nearly threw up at our first ultrasound, got nauseous when he first saw breastmilk, screams when he gets shots, etc.), but he was in the OR the entire time I had my C-section. He didn't look over the sheet, but got up as soon as the baby was taken out and went camera crazy. I think the excitement of it got DH over his fear.

disbride061103 · October 2009

NMH0783:

katypresson:
Tell your FI to suck it up!

I've done so...but he's a big wuss. I think for him (and me) its just that he has no idea what to expect, so he's a bit freaked out. I REALLY want him there though. My mom so far is taking over, but its just not the same.... Maybe I should bribe him..

You need to tell him that you want and need him to be there for you and your baby. You are the one who is going to have major surgery and give birth to this child. You don't get the chance to wuss out. Why should he be able to wuss out and decide that he "can't" be present?

Mrs.DeliaMarieP · October 2009

Yes he was there and i'd have kicked him in the balls if he had decided he just 'couldn't do it.' If I were you I'd tell him to suck it up or don't bother coming back at all. It's ridiculous to me that he can expect you to go through major surgery for the birth of your child, and just decide not to be there to hold your hand and support you, and to make sure you and baby are okay. That would be a hurt that could not be repaired from my perspective. What a weinie. Even if he does pass out, at least he tried to be there.

Also, does he think that a vaginal delivery is going to be clean and blood free? He'll probably see more blood with a vaginal delivery than a c-section. During a section, there's a huge curtain up in front of you that he stays behind with you. I don't think my husband even saw any blood except what was on our son when he was brought over to be suctioned.

I think your husband should try to be by your side, and you guys can tell a nurse that he is prone to passing out. That way, if he does, they'll catch him and at least he tried his best to be there for both of you.

Dragonflyer · October 2009

DH is really squeamish too but he was there for both, very nervous, but holding my hand. He needs to try and be there. You need to tell him to try. This is the birth of his child and he will never be able to go back to that moment and be one of the first people to hold him, see his weight, etc. He can always leave if he thinks he is going to pass out but to not try is really silly.

I would have been really nervous had he not been there. We just talked about really mundane things during the procedure both times. Like pp's said, you can't see anything but a giant curtain if you don't want to. Once you see the baby, you don't take your eyes off them anyway because you are so excited to meet your lo.

suprchicy · October 2009

DH was really worried about this, regardless of whether I had a c-section or a vaginal birth. I ended up with a c-section, and DH afterwards said he was surprised how well he did. He watched the whole thing too. He said it was different when it is your wife and child. Tell your DH to suck it up and go in. Worst case, he gets queasy and can't watch.

Remme80 · October 2009

My DH said he would not go in if I had a C section. When we found out I had to have one he put on the jump suit and went in, I was very suprised and greatful he was there to be with DD. He held her until the time she was born until I was able to hold her in recovery, it ended up being a very special time.

cmrand4 · October 2009

my DH is pretty nervous about blood too but he had no probs. previous poster is right...adrenaline takes over. But talk to the nurses about it first...they did a fabulous job of making sure my hubie saw nothing to make him squeamish by sending him to the nursery to be with the baby while I was stiched up. and yes, there is a big sheet blocking.

ladyalmalthea · October 2009

My DH was going to be nowhere near the action when I had our baby. It turned into a cesarean very late, and he ended up not only regretting not being able to cut the cord, but taking pictures and watching them pull Alex out.

For a cesarean, he can be in there without seing any actiona at all, just sitting by your head.

Jen&Joe06 · October 2009

Yes he was in there with me. There is a big cover in between your DH and the surgery. he won't see any blood, he will be right beside your head.

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