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3rd Trimester
Does your DH
...seem to not understand that you are very pregnant and need help around the house with things?...well mine seems to be forgetful lately. I realize that I am home all day long but I have a lot of other things to worry about (laundry, cleaning, taking care of our puppy, Etc.) I asked him last night if he would mind doing the dishes. He said he would do them. Then today he comes home and of course the dishes still aren't done. I just got done busting my butt mopping and sweeping and doing laundry and he has the audacity to ask me why the dishes are not done. I kindly reminded him that he had said he was going to do them and he used the "but you're home all day excuse"....our puppy then has an accident like all puppies do and he expected me to clean it up while he works on some project of his (not work-related) and he would have been perfectly capable of helping me clean up the accident. Then he asked me what's for dinner. I told him that I thought we would go out tonight and then we can go grocery shopping afterwards. He then got upset and asked why i didn't go today if I knew that it needed done and he must have had a brain lapse...we only have one car at the moment. What am I supposed to do? Walk to the grocery store? He appologized for the grocery store thing but I'm still a little cranky and I can't understand why he can't help me do the dishes when the only other regular jobs he has are to take out the trash and clean the litter box. Am I being unreasonable here? ......Sorry about the vent
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Re: Does your DH
I wish my DH was like your DH. You're lucky. I have to give mine credit, he does have some good days where he's very helpful but then he has days like today where he seems to forget
Mine was REALLY good during the first parts of this pg. Now....not so much. He has spurts. His excuse is his classes. I graduated from college; I know what it's like. I also worked 2 jobs while taking classes full-time. He has no sense of time management. Also, he never lived in a clean house, so he doesn't get that dirty jeans don't go on the couch...they go in the hamper. Drives me flipping nuts.
We're practically newlyweds and still getting those things figured out. Getting pg right after we got married and me getting all hormonal does not help this "getting to know you" phase. AHHHH
How I solved this, and it sounds horrible:
I was on the phone with my mom, when I was 36 weeks pregnant. I was having a MAJOR fibromyalgia attack, so I was hurting ALL over on top of being pregnant. We had just found out we were 3cms dilated and 50% effaced, so I was convinced I was going to have the baby RIGHT THEN.
So, I was on the phone with my Mom, DH had been at our apartment for a week by himself, so it was not up to my standard of cleanliness. Mom was asking me what was wrong, and I broke down and cried for like 20 minutes because our apartment was a wreck, the baby was coming, and my apartment was so messy and nasty and...
So totally worked, DH got up and cleaned the kitchen and the living room and vacuumed. I got up the next day and cleaned our bedroom, and then he came in and helped. I think it was just that he needed to realize I was at my wits end, and me asking him to help me didn't seem to get it through to him.
He's been wonderful about keeping things cleaner since then!
Hmmm....I don't know how I feel about this one. Because I work full time, and bust my ass all day at work, when I get home DH and I share the chores. If I were home all day, I would expect to be "working" all day at cleaning the house, cooking, going shopping, whatever, and I don't think I'd expect him to do dishes when he came home. That would kind of be the luxury of me getting to SAH and the consolation prize to him that I wouldn't be bringing in a salary.
I would think completely differently if I was a SAHM though and not a SAHW.
hmm...I will have to remember this. Anything sounds tempting to try right now. I just don't know what to do....I also just figured out that he has no idea where any of our dishes go in our kitchen (or so he says)...argh!
Mine actually wanted to have a talk last night. He is concerned about me not getting work around the hosue done fast enough. Hello, I'm pregnant, not sleeping, and I have a cold. He did apologize.
He wants to be like his cousin who has a stay at home wife. He comes home from work and does nothing to help her. I will be working full time and BF'ing our son. It won't happen at our house.
Bottom Line: They are clueless!
I understand where you are coming from with this. I wasn't expecting him to do them the second he got home and I didn't want to pressure him. There is only a few dishes and I would have ended up doing them eventually it just upset me that he wanted to know why I didn't do them when he had told he would. If he would have asked me nicely if I wouldn't mind doing the dishes because he had a really long day or whatever the case may be, I wouldn't have had any problem with it.
I was actually just about to post something similar to this. My DH doesn't understand that I'm on bed rest and can't do anything around the house. When I ask him to do something he says he's too tired from work and I've just been lying around all day. Uh, that is what bed rest is DH!
I get so frustrated with him, besides the fact that I'm on bed rest, things are just harder for me to do at this point.
Sorry you are going through this, hopefully they realize what we are going through and step it up soon!