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1st Trimester
If you are "hiding" your pregnancy (waiting to tell), come in.
I am just curious as to why a lot of people on this board feel like it's necessary to hide their pregnancies. I was reading the post below about the drinking and all the trouble a lot of us seem to go through to order non-alcoholic drinks, and it just made me wonder - what is your motivation for hiding your pregnancy? When are you going to tell your friends and family? I guess I'm wondering because it never really occurred to me to NOT tell - I was waaaayyyy too much of a blabbermouth and told all of my loved ones as soon as I got confirmation.
Don't take this as a judgy thing - it's not. I'm just curious. 
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Re: If you are "hiding" your pregnancy (waiting to tell), come in.
I hate the idea of having to tell people we lost the pregnancy and having to hear the sympathy/reactions. I'd rather deal with that on my own. That sounds like insult to injury during a hard time to me.
We did tell close family and friends however.
DH and I told close friends and family quickly but are waiting to tell co-workers, acquaintences, and bosses until we are past the first trimester. We just don't want to have to go back and tell a ton of people if something goes wrong. Just seems easier that way.
this was the reason for me for my first. i did not want to have to deal with untelling people (if a miscarriage had happened).
I am waiting b/c it's kind of tradition in my family to wait, I guess, and I also want to get past first tri.
I am not, however, going to great lengths to "hide". I have a wedding this weekend and I just......won't drink. I don't think it's that big a deal. If anyone asks or pushes (which I think is so lame anyway) I'll just say I'm driving/I'don't feel like it/whatever - - both of which are true.
I don't want to have to un-tell people. I'd rather wait until the chance of m/c drops lower before telling the world. My parents and IL's know, but I would want their support if something bad happened.
I feel like I'm "barely" pregnant. I'm scared of losing this pregnancy, and I think I'll feel better after a few appointments. We did tell parents, however, because I wouldn't mind them knowing G*d forbid something happens.
On a side note, the week before we found out we were pregnant, friends announced on FB they were expecting their second child. The next day, they must have gotten more results back that the pregnancy wasn't viable, and the husband has to post that on facebook. Ugh, I can't imagine that kind of pain.
We told my bff's the day we found out (Oct 5th), and our parents/siblings/DH's grandma the week after. DH's bff found out about a week after that. I told my boss yesterday.
DH is being very cautious and wants us to wait until 12 weeks or at least until we see Bug on the u/s on Nov 9th. He's already an overprotective Daddy, but my belly is starting to thicken and it's going to be difficult to hide much longer
This for me. I just don't want my classmate from 6th grade asking me about my baby 4 months from now if I lose it. It'd be like ripping off a band aid. I haven't told my job yet for the same reasons. I plan to tell my employer after my first ultrasound on November 13.
My family and close friends know. But everyone else doesn't know yet and my main reason for not sharing the news to the world is that I have a friend who has had 2 stillbirths (at 20 weeks pregnant both times) and an early miscarriage in the last 2 years! Yikes! Well... needless to say, they are not going to try the "natural" way to have children. Instead they are going with a surrogate. They have harvested her eggs, fertilized them, and placed them in the surrogate. Now it's a waiting game to see if one or both of the embryos stuck. They go in on Monday for an u/s to see. We are praying and keeping our fingers crossed that it worked!
So we're not going to share our news until we hear their results. We'll probably wait until my 10 week appointment so we can share u/s pictures.
I'm really sorry to all of you who have experienced a miscarriage/chemical pregnancy. I can't even imagine how difficult that must be. I'm sure I would be a little less anxious to tell everyone so soon if I had ever gone through that.
Thanks for the replies, everyone!
We're waiting to tell everyone until the 11-12 week mark. I'm a very private person and I don't like the idea of announcing it until we've heard the heartbeat and are almost done with first tri.
Also, we didn't like the idea of just telling family early and making them keep a secret. Our families live in the same small town and we thought it would be cruel to tell them they can't share the happy news. We decided to wait to tell family until we'd be comfortable with anyone (including coworkers) knowing.
As far as our motivation for keeping quiet, we just have several friends who've told everyone early and had something happen. The idea of getting cards in the mail and phone calls about it from people we aren't close to makes me uncomfortable. I know some people would like support like that, but as a private person, it seems like it would make it harder for me.
My last pregnancy I miscarried and I hated having to tell everyone about it. I thought I was in the clear because I saw heart beats. Honestly I kinda got annoyed with people asking again and again how I was doing - I know they were just being nice, but it was such a constant reminder of what I lost.
A few close friends and our parents know... but we wont be telling anyone else till I hit the 2nd tri which will be about thanksgiving!
This. I want my family and BFF's to know if something bad happens because I would need their support. I wouldn't want to have to un-tell other friends, FB people, co-workers if something bad should happen.
Hubby and I waited until 16 weeks to tell people...and we lost out baby at 20 weeks. Not sure if I'll hold off next time or not.
The reason I held off was that I was waiting until I was showing, and for a nice Christmas surprise.
We're waiting b/c we're both very private people. If anything were to go wrong or we are faced with a decision of possible termination b/c of risk of life or health - as rare as they may be - we want to go through it together, and not have everyone we told putting in their two cents. And we're sure that we're enough support for one another.
Plus, I wouldn't want to worry or sadden my parents, as they are going to be first time grandparents.
It's a personal decision, and up to each couple/person, IMO. Everyone has his or her reason for telling right away or telling in his or her own time.
For me, it's mostly b/c I had a previous m/c, and if this one didn't work out, I didn't want to have to "untell" a whole bunch of people. So, I've told close friends and family, but I don't want to "go public" until after my next appt. at 12 weeks.
We didn't really tell anyone about #1, either (we were waiting until after the 1st ultrasound), and I think it made if much easier to deal with the m/c.
Cam 6.6.10 - Autism, Global Developmental Delay, Mixed Receptive/Expressive Communication Disorder
I just wanted to say thanks for asking this. I've been literally torn apart on these boards because I choose to tell people early and was wondering why there were such strong opinions. Thanks to all for sharing.
Prayers to those who have suffered losses and H&H for all!