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How long do you stick around when dropping off at daycare?

kickenbkickenb member
in Working Moms

When you drop LO off in the morning, how long to you stick around at daycare?  We started a new daycare a few weeks ago and Sam is still having a hard time when I leave.  I will get his coat off and bring him over to where the teachers are or try to get him interested in a toy.  But I'm in there about 2 minutes before I leave.  I started to wonder this morning if other parents stick around longer.  He is the last one in his room to get dropped off so I never see any other parents to compare too. 

I feel bad just sticking around a few minutes and feel that I should be hanging out a little longer. 

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Re: How long do you stick around when dropping off at daycare?

  • krubkrub
    I try not to stick around too long, but DS teacher loves to talk to me.  Drop offs and pick ups take way too long when I do them.  DH is in and out of there.
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  • EastCoastBrideEastCoastBride member
    I actually think you're right to get out of there quickly.  The longer you stay, the more you may get his hopes up that your'e sticking around.
    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

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  • SportyChic24SportyChic24 member
    Only a few minutes, 2 times when I stayed for 5 min. or longer DD started crying ( I really think she was just tired though) so I just walk in, put her bottles in the fridge, take her coat off, give a hug and kiss and let them know of any special things for the day and off I go.
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  • armandos_girlarmandos_girl member

    I used to be a lead teacher in a toddler room, so here's my advice:

    Talk to his teachers and see how long it is taking for him to get over it and ask what they think.  Sometimes staying longer can just prolong the anxiety it depends on the child.  Also, pay attention to what's going on in the classroom when you are dropping off.  If they are in a transition (getting ready to go outside, come inside, eat a snack etc.) wait until the transition is over before leaving if you can.  This ensures a teacher can give him her attention when you leave and get him adjusted and ready to start the day.

    Also, are you saying "Goodbye" when you leave?  For some kids, the act of saying Goodbye is harder, but they are ok if they look up and mom is gone.  But others might freak out if they look up and mom "disappeared" or is sneaking out.

    Whatever you do, be consistent and confident.  He's going to take his cues from you on whether his daycare is a "safe" place.  GL!

    *Sorry that was so long!

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  • PeskyPesky member
    I tend to stick around in DS's room for a while chatting with the teachers but that will definitely change as he gets older and separation anxiety sets in.  For DD, it's short and sweet because I have to drop off DS still.  I remember with DD, I ended up being pretty quick with drop-off to avoid prolonging tears.  And I drop off at a busy time and parents are all over the map -- some take a bit, some are super quick.  Just varies more by parent than anything else.


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    DD -- 5YO
    DS -- 3YO

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  • ShleiShlei
    About 5 minutes: Enough for me to go over when she last ate, how she's feeling and any special instructions as well as saying goodbye to her. I hate saying goodbye even for a little bit.
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  • mclaugaamclaugaa

    I usually stay for about 5 minutes, making sure he is happy playing with the kids or a toy before I leave.

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  • trinnytrinny member
    DH does dropoff, which I think is easier for all of us.  I'm not sure anymore, but he used to stay at least 5-10 min and play with her and the other babies.  (He seriously loves babies more than any guy I've ever seen!)
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  • flyer23flyer23 member

    With her old sitter, it wasn't unusual for me to hang out and talk with her for 10 or 15 minutes.

    Her current preschool encourages parents not to linger at dropoff time. Over the summer, when she first started, I tried to drop her off, put her stuff away, give her a quick hug/kiss, and get out of there as soon as a teacher was available to hold her back when she tried to run after me. Now that the "school year" has started, her teacher comes to get her from the car, we chat for just a second while she gets DD unbuckled, and then they're off.

    Mommy to DD1 (June 2007), DS (January 2010), DD2 (July 2012), and The Next One (EDD 3/31/2015)

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  • WheelerToBeWheelerToBe
    I have worked and owed a daycare for over 8 yrs and I say that is fine.  It is the best thing to do.  I have few parents stay longer but that is because the are just talking to me not about anything but friendly talk.  But with the kids it is usually a quick kiss good bye.  When they pick up they usually they to watch little one playing for a few minutes before letting themselves be known.  Just to see how they are doing.
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  • carrie4gcarrie4g
    We started daycare at 17 months and he was having a rough go of it at drop off. We were dropping off very quickly. Now, I sing a little diddy song on the way in to build the anticipation and when we arrive I get down on my knees with him and talk to the other kids/babies in his class. I say "hi" to everyone, chat with the teacher a bit and then a kiss goodbye and "I'll be back later today." From what I know, they're inclined to be more comfortable in newer situations knowing that you chat and approve of the person they're mingling with.
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  • 14years14years
    Probably between 5 and 10 minutes.  I want to make sure DS is settled in and happy.  I also like to talk to the teacher if she's not busy just to touch base.  We are one of the earlier families to arrive, so usually it's not a big deal to chat for a couple of minutes.
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  • Taylor44Taylor44
    It varies, but I usually spend about 5 minutes or longer.  I talk to all the kids and the teachers.  But we have never had an issue with separation anxiety or crying when I leave. 
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  • jlw2505jlw2505 member
    Not long at all, I get the girls coats off and everything hung up, tell the teacher anything they need to know (bad morning, early pick-up, whatever) then I kiss the girls and go.  What I have found works best is to have a set routine that you do so everything that happens is expected and then go.  Even if your child is upset - the teachers will get your child doing whatever the class is doing and your child will be fine.  I know - when my girls have gone through the crying phases, I have asked and have been told that within a min of my leaving, they are fine.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
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