XP: Rachel's Birth Story

I finally got to 10 cm dilation by 2AM Saturday morning (10/3) and by then I was running a 100 - 101 degree fever.  I pushed for 2 and a half hours and I was so close to getting her out.  I was watching in the mirror and could see the top of her head and her hair while I was pushing.  The Dr. used the vacuum device to help ease her out but it kept popping off the top of her head when I pushed so it was pretty useless. 

 

My pushes were becoming ineffective at the end because I was so tired from being in labor for many hours.  I hadn't slept or eaten in a long time - they only let me have ice chips after starting the epidural and I was too nervous to sleep the night before - so I'm sure that didn't help my energy level.  My fever was getting higher as was the baby's heart rate which was cause for concern.  My husband and I found out later that the baby had passed meconium while in utero but I am not sure at what point, during or before labor, that happened.

 

Baby was stuck behind my pubic bone.  I so tired, mentally and physically, and the Dr. said she thought my muscles were too tired to be able to get the baby out but that it was my call what to do (i.e. continue to push or c-section).

 

At 4:30 AM Saturday I decided that baby and I had both given it our best effort and I told the Dr. I wanted to go ahead with the c-section so as not to jeopardize either the baby's health or mine.  I cried as I waited for them to prep me for surgery because I felt like a failure for not being able to avoid the c-section.  I had to keep reminding myself that having a healthy baby was the most important thing but it was really hard on me to get so close to having the vaginal birth I wanted and then have it taken away at the last minute.  And feeling that way made me feel even worse because I felt selfish for wanting the vaginal birth and being upset about not being able to have it when obviously the most important thing is a healthy baby.  I truly am glad that we live in a time and place where we have the medical/surgical options available that we do but it was very emotional for me.

 

I didn't feel anything during the actual cutting part of the c-section and Rachel was born at 5:25 AM on Saturday, Oct. 3rd weighing in at 8lbs, 2oz and was 20 in. long.  The worst part of the c-section was when they were sewing me up as I became nauseous, started shaking really bad and was having hot flashes. 

 

I am on the mend and am so thankful for my precious, healthy daughter.  DH and I are completely in love with her.