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Secondary IF
Not sure what to do next (long)
I'm not sure if I'm on the right board, so please let me know if I need to post somewhere else. Here is my story
I have not been diagnosed with Secondary IF yet, but I feel like I have some kind of problem. I have 3 children from a previous marriage. My last child was born over 6 years ago. I remarried a little over a year ago and we would like to have a child together. We started trying in Feb and were blessed with a BFP in March, then a few days later I miscarried. After 7 months, we finally got another BFP in Sept and within a couple of weeks I miscarried. After the first m/c I thought that maybe it was just a fluke, but now that we have had a second m/c I think that something is wrong.
My husband thinks that I need to be more patient and if I have to hear "third times a charm" one more time I think I might hurt him. I don't feel like anyone thinks this is as serious as I do. I really feel that there is a problem. I guess what I want to know is how long before you started to demand answers? My dr wants me to try for 6 more months and then we'll see about testing. After 2 miscarriages would you expect answers? Am I being unreasonable? Every month that goes by I get more and more depressed. I just wish someone would listen to me. I'm beginning to think I need to look for a more proactive dr. Is this premature? I don't want to get pregnant again only to have another mc.
I'm sorry about all the questions. I'm really new to this and I really haven't had anyone to talk to. I don't know where to go with this or what to do. Should I just sit and wait, be patient? Maybe I just needed to vent. Thanks!
-Cary
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Not sure what to do next (long)
First of all, I'm so sorry for your losses. Two mc in one year is a horrible thing to go through. I think it's really hard for our husbands to understand how upsetting it is for us when our bodies don't function the way they're "supposed to" when it comes to getting and staying pregnant.
I don't have experience with mc, but I think after two I would definitely look for a Dr. that was more proactive about handling them. I know that mc are common and they happen to many women, but two in a row seems worth further investigation. I would definitely get a second opinion.
The ladies on this board are a wealth of information. Hopefully your stay on this board will be short and you will get your BFP and a sticky baby soon.
I'm so sorry for your losses
Did your Dr offer to do any testing with the last m/c to see if they could determine the cause? I know my friend who had no known issues was told they wouldn't test until the 3rd m/c because they are so common. I know that that is hard to hear and I would just ask...my Dr was willing to test my first m/c if I wanted it. It doesn't seem like you have a problem getting pregnant though... you could always try talking to another Dr if you want some testing done sooner. I know I would probably feel the same way you do wanting answers sooner...but it also doesn't seem unusual to me that they suggest you wait a bit longer...
Best of luck to you!
Thank you for the responses! And you are right that I do want answers, but it doesn't seem to unreasonable to wait a little longer. I think that I could rest easier with an answer. I could just say Ok, this is what it is and this is what we are doing.
No, after my second m/c they did not offer to test. She basically said I'm sorry, but if you get pg again then we will put you on progesterone. AND it may not even work. She's the sort of dr that doesn't give false hope. I have been with her since she started her practice in the late 90's and I was one of her first patients. I would really hate to move on because I didn't feel like she was listening to me.
I just feel so lost. Even if we figure out what's wrong or if we need to look into other treatments for infertility my insurance doesn't even cover it. I feel helpless. My husband is begging me to just have some hope and patience, but at this point I really don't have any.
Thanks for listening and responding! It really does help to have an outsider weigh in on the subject. Hopefully, this will all work out like it's suppose to.