TTC and people don't understand!

ChrissyK2006 · October 2009

So, as some of you may know, we are TTC and would absolutely love to have a little miracle! I am seriously losing it already though... We haven't been trying for too long, but I guess I'm a little impatient. I have some issues with my uterus and the doctor's say I have a 50% chance of becoming pregnant. So, every month that goes by and I find out it didn't work again I just get the feeling that I'll never be able to. The people around us know that we want to have a baby. I try not to say too much to them because if/when it does happen I don't want them to know right away, just in case. Certain people ask me, seriously, daily! I just keep giving them the answer of, "I don't know," or "It'll happened when it happens." But really it hits me harder than they could imagine. It's so hard to tell my DH that it didn't work again. I feel like I'm letting him down. My parents and grandparents ask all the time and that's a given I'm sure. I just don't really kow how to be positive anymore. I work with two ladies that are single and older than me. I won't say a darn word about it at all and they'll still be like, "Don't worry about it, if it takes you 10 years then it takes you 10 years! Don't rush it!" AGH! I swear! That's not what I want to hear from people that don't have and don't want kids!

I know many of you TTC for quite some time. How did you stay positive? What finally worked?

Sorry to vent. It's just not a good day I guess. Thanks for listening!

The_Jen626 · October 2009

I'm sorry you are going through this!!!

I hated when people would ask me. Depending on my mood, I would say "we both want kids, just not yet" or "Do you know that 1 in 6 couples in the USA suffer from infertility? That's a touchy subject for a lot of people" or I would get really indepth with them and say "well we've been trying for over a year, we've seen a specialist, no luck yet, so I'll keep you posted". That last one tends to shut people up pretty quickly.

Have you already seen an RE about your uterus?

How it happened for me... I didn't ovulate at all, maybe 3 times a year. After 1 year TTC, I did 3 cycles of clomid, with no luck. My RE told me that he had a lot of hope for me, and to "gain 10 pounds and you will get pregnant". The clomid made me ovulate, but still not pregnant. Then I pretty much had a nervous breakdown, and told DH that I needed to stop TTC for a while. We were going to take a 3 month break. Then I got laid off from my job and didn't have health insurance, so didn't want to TTC until I got a stable job or could go on DH's insurance. We went on vacation to Mexico in May (over Mother's Day, oops), and it was SO horrible. I was so depressed about not being able to get pregnant. DH and I fought a lot, and talked a LOT. Looking back, it was a real turning point for us. We got back from vacation, I got added to DH's insurance, and we were going to do another Clomid cycle in July. I met with the RE again on July 10th and when I got my next period, was going to do an HSG. I was waiting and waiting for my next period... And I got a BFP on July 24th.

So...it can happen. Try to relax and not let it stress you out. Be nice to your DH, take good care of your body. Listen to your Doctor, and keep your mind open. Don't punish your body for "not working", which is what I did, and I totally regret it now.

queenbone · October 2009

It is very frustrating! Due to DH's wishes we kept our problems very hush hush the first time. This time I told him I didn't want to do that again. I have found it to be very helpful to be able to talk about my problems with my family. As a result I am learning more about my mom, grandma and aunt as a result. I know it is hard to talk about it, but for me, losing the veil of secrecy has made me feel better about it.

The_Jen626 · October 2009

queenbone:
It is very frustrating! Due to DH's wishes we kept our problems very hush hush the first time. This time I told him I didn't want to do that again. I have found it to be very helpful to be able to talk about my problems with my family. As a result I am learning more about my mom, grandma and aunt as a result. I know it is hard to talk about it, but for me, losing the veil of secrecy has made me feel better about it.

I agree with this! I TTC for over a year before I really got indepth with my Mom about it...then found out that she never ovulated and was told she was infertile, and never used any kind of b/c and it took her 3 years to get pregnant with me. My Aunt Lela had something like 6 m/c's and only one live birth. My other Aunt Cindy had to do several rounds of IVF in order to get pregnant with her two kids.

ChrissyK2006 · October 2009

Thank you ladies! It's peace of mind to know that I am not alone. It's so frustrating and I do punish myself for not working... I need to stop! My OB is a specialist in infertility. He's awesome and the only doctor to finally figure out what is wrong with my uterus. I have been working really hard on letting stuff go with DH. It's not his fault either and I never let him think it is. It's just sometimes I get so irritated with the whole situation I end up taking it out on him. Lately tough, we've gotten along great. I try too be positive! The last couple days I have had some very light bleeding. I am praying that it's implantation bleeding, but just now I checked and it's more red.... I don't think thats a good sign either! My normal periods are VERY VERY heavy and this isn't even worth a panty liner! Praying for it to work this time, but I am trying not to get my hopes up either.

Thank you both so much for the positive words. It's just what I needed! I love that I can talk to people on here about what's going on and get honest advice! You're the best!

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