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Infertility
JackieMac824
member
Poll of Sorts: What is the most ridiculous thing a person has said to you about infertility?
JackieMac824
member
in Infertility
Well the big one I get all the time is in my post below - that I can borrow their husbands to make a baby with.
Another good one I will never forget - I was buying a few infertility books in a book store and I was checking out and the girl behind the counter told me the sure fire way to get pregnant was to go camping. Yeah okay - if it was only that easy.
Oh another one - my MIL kept sending me all this information about surrogacy - she refused to believe that we were dealing with MFI.
Please share some of yours.
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Re: Poll of Sorts: What is the most ridiculous thing a person has said to you about infertility?
"Just relax and it will happen" "It will happen when God is ready" (I am not particularly religious, so this bothers me)
The best has to be my friend who volunteered to donate her eggs to me before she even heard what my diagnosis was. I know she meant well, but we are no where near that stage and it was a little out of left field.
1) If you just relax, it will happen for you. (Really? I don't ovulate. Since when is relaxation going to stimulate my pituitary?)
2) If you only knew how hard it was to raise a baby, you wouldn't want to do it. (So many levels of wrong on that one).
3) You always have it all together; it's good for you to have some challenges. (Said by snarky Step-SIL who lives with her parents, has no job and mooches off her folks and her boyfriend).
I was told I should pursue adoption at the same time I am going through IVF and this time next year I'd have 2 children.
DX: Premature ovarian failure
::::SAIFW::::: People call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute. - Rebecca West
WE'VE BEEN MATCHED WITH A SWEET LITTLE BOY!! -4/5/11
1. "It will happen when it's meant to...."- oh really?
2. "As soon as you stop trying (or stop worrying about it) it will happen"- oh, ok, I'll just pretend I don't care and magically stop thinking about it.
3. Newly PG person saying "OMG, we weren't even trying!!"
4. "You can take our kids anytime!"- yeah, like you would actually ever give up your kids, AND, like spending any amount of time with your kids is going to fill the gaping hole my in soul.
5. "You still have time....."- thank you very much for determining when would be a good time for me to have a child.
Ugh.......I'm irritated just thinking about these........
"God only gives a person what they can handle, so you probably wouldn't be able to handle a baby"....DH's grandmother.
"I wish I was infertile, want one of my kids?"
"Adoption is nothing like having one of your own."
"Are you sure you want to be pregnant, it's not that great."
All the God comments piss me off; this is God's plan, trust God's path for you, believe in God more, etc (and it's not that I'm not a religious person, I am, I just do not think it's appropriate to say these things to a IF)
Me: PCOS/Amenorrhea DH: Azoospermia due to Y Chromosome Micro Deletion IVF w/ ICSI on hold until further notice
Hope
"just relax" and "just go on vacation" about 1000 times each
"have you thought about adoption"
"when you get your life right with God, you will get pregnant"
"why don't you just hire a surrogate"
I've posted this before but, one of my "friends" told me that I had a m/c because my baby was created by man and not God.
I had to walk away b/c I knew I would hurt her.
Wow that is the most horrible thing I have ever heard - unbelieveable. I am so very sorry that someone said that to you.
Are you sure you won't end up like Octomom?
Granted, this was said by someone who doesn't know anything about IVF and choosing reasonable numbers of embryos to transfer, but even so, IVF will not make me:
a) crazy
b) single mom
c) already have 6 children
d) have no job
So yes, I'm sure.
My regular reply to "when are you going to have kids" is "we can't and we don't have the money to start IF treatments".
One lady actually told me to not say that we can't because it could happen. I was like really because my DH has no sperm. And she actually smiled and winked at me and said you never know miracles can happen. This was just a couple months after the dx and I just wanted to strangle her. I had to go for a walk I was so mad.
Me - DX Hashimoto's Disease, Hypothyroid, Rheumatoid Arthritis
DH - DX Azoospermia - Sertoli Cell Syndrome
DS-IUI #1-4 BFN IVF #1 - BFP! It's a boy!!!
OMG did you b!tch slap her?
Me - DX Hashimoto's Disease, Hypothyroid, Rheumatoid Arthritis
DH - DX Azoospermia - Sertoli Cell Syndrome
DS-IUI #1-4 BFN IVF #1 - BFP! It's a boy!!!
Wow that is horrible and from a grandma no less. Aren't grandmas supposed to be loveable kind creatures?
Me - DX Hashimoto's Disease, Hypothyroid, Rheumatoid Arthritis
DH - DX Azoospermia - Sertoli Cell Syndrome
DS-IUI #1-4 BFN IVF #1 - BFP! It's a boy!!!
I can't even remember what exactly was said - but it was a general disgust at IVF (pre-octomom even) and the belief that it's god's whatever. It was in the few week time period of between getting my blood work back (two CF mutations - either a weird carrier, or that I might have mild CF - in which case bio-children would have been out) and getting my parents' results back (Dad's bloodwork confirmed that we're weird carriers of two mutations on one chromosome).
It was at work, and I was torn between any number of replies. I mean... we're atheists, DH has azoo and we didn't know if we had a 50% chance of CF without PGD or 100% chance of CF. Instead, I held it together (even though my eye started to twitch). One of my friends was there at the time - and he knew what was going on. He was impressed I didn't blow a gasket (I'm **slightly** hotheaded).
Wow, all of you have been the recipients of some truly horrible, thoughtless and dare I say un-Christian comments (for those who invoke God to condemn the action of other).
I feel silly sharing, but maybe it will lighten things up a bit. I do have one child, and I love my MIL. However, my dear, well-meaning MIL told me that if I didn't wear socks after the first, I wouldn't be able to have another. Well, here we are, and I get the old "I told you so" regarding the socks.
Of course we gloss over the fact that I have had long-standing fertility issues AND I live in FL where socks are far from necessary...
"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
Miracle DD born 12.2005
TTC #2 since Dec 2008 w/ PCOS
***P/SAIF Always Welcome***
Keep it Natural, Baby!
Last week a friend of my Mom's said "just wanted to let you know I've been thinking about you. Just think, when you're 50, you'll think back on all of this and think you'd rather be going through it than having a hip replacement."
I said, "actually, I'd rather have a hip replacement. They can fix that."
Mine is the same as a lot of others...I haven't shared our situation with many people, but most that I have will always say "it will happen when you least expect it" or "when you stop trying" and then they proceed to tell me about the people they know that that happened to because they figure if it happened for them it'll happen for me....my husband may not produce sperm and if he does, not a single one is making an appearance, I explain that to them but it doesn't seem to help. I also hate being told to trust God, as if I'm not...I do trust God and He has led us to the doctors we need and given us the means to pay for it.
Last week, after (stupidly) explaining to a friend what our problem was, at the end she said "oh one more thing...body temperatures are different in the middle of the night, so you might want to wake up and..you know"...having sex in the middle of the night will not give us sperm!
Ok...too long..sorry!
DD (5 years old) from IUI in 2012
TTC 3rd and final!: IUI #1 in progress!