3rd Trimester

Anyone having their MIL in delivery room?

I ask because my MIL invited herself to attend the birth of our first without ever talking to me about it...she is the VP of nursing at the hospital which gives her (she must think) the right to do whatever she pleases.  She showed  first in the doorway as I was starting to push...she slowly made her way more and more into the room.  I have a feeling she is going to do it again and it makes my blood boil.  When DS was born I was in so much pain that I did not care who the h** was in the room at that point...that's why I let it slide.  
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Re: Anyone having their MIL in delivery room?

  • Hell no.?

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  • My mom and MIL were in the room last time.  We decided that this time it would just be DH and I plus the staff.  Now it doesn't matter what we planned, we're having twins so I'll automatically deliver in the OR (c/s or not) so only DH would be allowed.
  • Definitely not, although I doubt she'd want to be. In any event, my ILs will take care of DS while I'm in labor so I don't even think they'll be at the hospital.
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  • um.....no.  private event = no inlaws
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  • Nuh uh.  No one else but DH and medically necessary personnel are invited to the birth of our baby.  My MIL hasn't asked or invited herself, but my mom was pretty upset when I told her she wasn't going to be allowed in there.
  • Absolutely not. The only people in the delivery room will be my DH and myself, other than the medical professionals.

    if my MIL tried to pull something like that i wouldn't hesitate to scream at her to get her rear out of the room.

    Why don't you just tell her ahead of time that you don't want her there, and that you want this birth to be one that's shared with just you and your DH. (if that's what you want of course)

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  • She's gonna be our alternate. I'm only allowed 2 people so those spots went to my mom and DH. She's gonna met me at the hospital since she's much closer then my mom and then once my mom gets there they're gonna rotate depending on bathroom breaks, food, sleep, etc for everyone.
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  • I would be so pissed!  Still!!!  I would tell the nurses she is not allowed.  Oh, and I would be having a group discussion with my husband and her telling her it is NOT ok.  If you never told her it bothered you, I'm sure she's planning on doing it again...

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  • No, actually no one but my hubby will be in there with me.  We actually may not call people until our little girl is here (or at least until we know for sure she is coming at that time).

    I'd be letting her know (off the cuff type convo) how excited you are for the delivery and how you and DH are looking forward to it just being the two of you until he calls people in after the immediate bonding time....

  • My Mom and DH will DEFINITELY be in the room. Depending on how long my labor takes (My MIL lives 3 hours away) and depending on her state of health, yes she will be in the delivery room.

    She watches my three nephews, and I swear to you, they STAY SICK. So, DH has told her if any of them are sick at the time, or if she's still sick at the time, that no, she won't be in the delivery room. 

    DH wants his sister in there too, but I'm on the fence. I'm not a hundred percent comfy around either SIL or MIL and I'm just not sure how I'm going to handle the pain -- DH and Mom I don't care, but it may be awkward. 

    I have a feeling this labor is going to go quickly, as I'm almost half way dilated... so maybe I won't have to worry about it :)

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  • imagemrsbird1129:

    I would be so pissed!  Still!!!  I would tell the nurses she is not allowed.  Oh, and I would be having a group discussion with my husband and her telling her it is NOT ok.  If you never told her it bothered you, I'm sure she's planning on doing it again...

    I am!!  I was so surprised she did that because she is the type of MIL that stays back and keeps her opinions to herself unless you actually ask her for it.  Im too much of a wuss to tell her it bothered me...this is making me want to keep it to just myself and DH. 

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  • yeah heck no.  Even Matt (DH) thinks that would be a complete disaster!
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  • imageMsMoseley:

    Hell no. 

     

    THIS!

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  • Ditto the Hell No.

    I love my MIL but my take on it is this:

    If you weren't in the room when we made this baby, you don't need to be there when he comes out.  DH feels the same.

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  • Absolutely not. I love her but there is no way that I need any added factors while I am trying to concentrate. The same goes for my mother...love her to death but I don't want her in the room. This moment is for DH and I only. =)
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  • I invited my mom and MIL. I do have one rule, they are suppose to stay above my belly. It is up to MIL if she wants to be in the room with us, I really don't care either way.
  • Ummmm NO WAY.  Thankfully my MIL (who is dense on topics like this most of the time) told me several months ago that she understood that I probably only wanted DH and my Mom at the birth.  She said that childbirth is something shared between mother and daughter and that she would get to have that experience with her own daughter when the time came.  THANK GOD.  I was in complete shock and expected to have to tell her that I would not be comfortable with her there, which I thought would go over like a lead balloon.  In the end she said that if my mom couldn't make it here in time (she's about 6 hrs away), then she would be happy to be there if I wanted her to.  Again this was unexpected.  Sometimes MIL surprises me and I swear she has fallen and hit her head or something to bring on this weird personality change!Wink
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  • NO WAY! But.....luckily for me, when my DS was born, she was out of town (he came 10 days early....) and this time we are having a scheduled c-sect, so the only person allowed in the room with me is my DH.....

    I would be PISSED if my DH didn't say something. I suggest having your DH say something to her now...... 

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  • Ew No!  She will not be looking at my lady bits.
  • Definitely not, although all our family lives out of state, so that makes it easier.
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  • No, she's crazy overbearing.  We will call her a few hours after LO's born.  Our hospital is also restricting visitors to 2 people total in the hospital per patient due to H1N1.
  • imageMsMoseley:

    Hell no. 

    THIS.

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  • Absolutely no frickin way. My own mom isn't even going to be in the room. Just DH.
  • id rather go natural than have MIL in the room. she had the nerve to tell me (when i was 8 weeks pregnant) "i want dibs on that delivery room before anyone else asks" i told her it would just be me and DH, and she went off about my other SILs were selfish to not let her in there when they were in labor, when that day is about the baby, not the mother. OH REALLY?!?!? UGHHHHH it gets my blood boiling just thinking about it. she will not be in there.
  • imageIt'sPB&JTime:
    imageMsMoseley:

    Hell no.?

    ?

    THIS!

    THIS with a THOUSAND exclamation points after it!!!?

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  • Dang...thats kind of tricky. Her actually working at the hospital...as a nurse. I would say HELLL NOO to my MIL. Def. have a talk with her..or have your DH do it.
  • Big emphatic NO!!!

    Although I'll admit I'm not looking forward to it.  She expects to be called the minute I start having contractions so they can begin the 6 hr drive down to be there as soon as the baby's born.  I'm kind of not ok with that but DH is.  (sometimes he can be a momma's boy or I think he just doesn't want to deal with drama of saying 'no')

    At my shower we were joking about this and I said we'd call her when I'm admitted but that if it was in the middle of the night I'd call her at 7am AT HOME to make sure they weren't taking any chances driving down in the middle of the night.  She gave me a half joking annoyed look and said "you expect me to wait that long?" Even DH said to her that they could wait until the weekend to come down to which she spared him the half joking part and planted him with a downright CROSS look and said "do you expect me to wait that long?"

    I'm seriously dreading the whole hospital stay on account of *I know* MIL will want to hog all the visiting time.  And I know my parents, they'll respect my wishes (anti-social though they might seem) and give me alone time with DH and baby but not MIL.  She'll want to be there every second.  *sigh*  What to do?

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  • you call her after you are fully admitted and tell her what is going on.  you let the nurses know that you dont want any visitors seeing Baby or you until after your OK.  DH is going to be in awww...and  shock so might not have the gull to stand up to MIL then.  You are the mother, your rules
  • I am having DH, my mom, MIL & my cousin to take pictures.

    I have had some reservations about MIL in the delivery room b/c she is definitely overwhelming, but, my mom and her really want to be there, and to me, I know that it won't be that big of a deal in the end. :-)

  • imageMsMoseley:

    Hell no. 

    This.  Of course she'll be watching DS anyway...and really, I don't think my MIL would be up for dealing with something like that anyway. She's not exactly the nurturing type.

     

  • My DH said "she wasn't involved in making the baby why should she be involved with the birth!"

    So it will just be he and I and any medical professional. I do wish my mom could be there but I completely understand his perspective of keeping it as private as possible.  

    Also I made it REAL clear MIL would not be allowed when she video-taped my SIL birth even though SIL didn't want it video-taped. I thought that was sneaky and if it happened to me I probably would never speak to her again.   

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