PSA- Trouble TTC

MandyBrownNoser · October 2009

Trouble TTC implies that there is actually a problem.

Whether that be a diagnosed problem (pertaining to fertility) or a "time" problem meaning you've been ttc for a year if you are under 35 and 6 months if older.

A dark hair on your chin does not necessarily mean you have PCOS. Neither does gaining weight.

You just might be hairy and gaining weight.

Having sex every day for three months and not getting pregnant does not mean you are infertile.

You have a 20% chance of getting pregnant each month... with perfect timing. So if you don't know when you ovulated you might not have had perfect timing so the chance would be even less.

It takes the average couple 6 months to a year to get pregnant. A year is not 7 months. It is not 10 months. If you've been trying that long you are still within the average range of time. That does not mean "trouble ttc".

So unless you have an actual diagnosis and/or have been trying to conceive for a year- calm the fuuck down.

susanc07 · October 2009

Hartmaj · October 2009

Totally, totally agree! I'm sure those of us who have been trying for less than a year and are already worried annoy the holy living crap out of everyone who's been trying for a year / many years. Understandable.

Only one thing I'd add... knowing that it takes the average couple 6-12 months doesn't make a woman immune from worry if she's been trying for 7, 8, 9 months. It's not like for 365 days we're worry free, then on day 366 we suddenly go, "OMG! I just realized I'm having trouble trying to conceive!" There is a little bit of a gray area where you know you probably shouldn't be worried yet, but you're starting to feel anxious and wonder. Especially if having a baby is desperately important to you.

I for one am just looking for people who have "been there, done that" and are willing to share a little advice or support. When I was deciding what board to post my situation on I noticed there was an "Infertility" board and a "Trouble TTC" board and since I'm not yet diagnosed as Infertile I thought that "Trouble TTC" was more appropriate for me. Sorry if some feel that ladies like me are in the wrong place. Maybe "Getting Pregnant" is a more appropriate board?

AmyeJean · October 2009

MandyBrownNoser:

Trouble TTC implies that there is actually a problem.

Whether that be a diagnosed problem (pertaining to fertility) or a "time" problem meaning you've been ttc for a year if you are under 35 and 6 months if older.

A dark hair on your chin does not necessarily mean you have PCOS. Neither does gaining weight.

You just might be hairy and gaining weight.

Having sex every day for three months and not getting pregnant does not mean you are infertile.

You have a 20% chance of getting pregnant each month... with perfect timing. So if you don't know when you ovulated you might not have had perfect timing so the chance would be even less.

It takes the average couple 6 months to a year to get pregnant. A year is not 7 months. It is not 10 months. If you've been trying that long you are still within the average range of time. That does not mean "trouble ttc".

So unless you have an actual diagnosis and/or have been trying to conceive for a year- calm the fuuck down.

islandlife · October 2009

I would like to add that sometimes when someone suspects a problem there might actually be a problem. My husband had surgery to lower his undescended testicle several years ago. After about 4 months and still not pg, I sent hubby to get his sperm checked. It turns out that he had a low count and 2% normal morphology. Now that we had a diagnosis, we were able to proceed to the RE. If we had waited until the 12 months was up, we would be waiting to see the RE and not beginning the IVF treatment now.

Sometimes there is reason to believe that there is a problem.

MandyBrownNoser · October 2009

islandlife:
I would like to add that sometimes when someone suspects a problem there might actually be a problem. My husband had surgery to lower his undescended testicle several years ago. After about 4 months and still not pg, I sent hubby to get his sperm checked. It turns out that he had a low count and 2% normal morphology. Now that we had a diagnosis, we were able to proceed to the RE. If we had waited until the 12 months was up, we would be waiting to see the RE and not beginning the IVF treatment now.
Sometimes there is reason to believe that there is a problem.

Ummm, your husband had surgery on his balls. There was reason to believe that there might be an issue.

Hartmaj · October 2009

You know? I think I'm permanently done on this board. So many people have built their identities around not being able to have a child, and I don't want that to end up being me. I wish you all peace and happy outcomes.

Assembly_Reqd · October 2009

Hartmaj:
You know? I think I'm permanently done on this board. So many people have built their identities around not being able to have a child, and I don't want that to end up being me. I wish you all peace and happy outcomes.

I guess your done because you got some great advice from people?

Not everyone is gonna sugar coat their advice with platitudes and rainbows. I think you got some great answers (I am biased of course) No one was rude to you. Some people give you just the facts. You asked if you should be worried and everyone said "stop worrying". You need to grow a thicker skin.

You can go over to GP if you want, but I guarantee you it would be the blind leading the blind on some of the more detailed info you got from people answering you here. Good Luck in whatever you decide.

JenniferL923 · October 2009

Hartmaj · October 2009

I had a feeling someone was going to feel that way about my comment, so I wanted to come back and say just one thing before I tune out because I think it's important for future members of this community.

I'm not leaving because I didn't get good advice... I did, and in all sincerity, thanks for that! I'm glad to hear from knowledgeable women that there's nothing to worry about yet. I'm leaving because the PSA post that women like me are not having "trouble TTC" made me feel that I did not fit in with the type of women on this board.

The definition of INFERTILITY as agreed upon by most doctors and insurance companies is 1+ year of actively TTC with no luck. There is no medical or legal definition of "TROUBLE TTC" that I've been able to find. So, yes, I do believe that after going off the pill in February and charting regularly since then that I am having a small amount of trouble TTC. You are free to disagree, of course.

Trust me, after 8 years of client service in the advertising industry I do have a very thick skin. And no, I never expect news to be delivered with sunshine and rainbows. The reality is, I just don't feel overall that I identify with the type of women on this board, although many of you seem absolutely lovely.

No hard feelings, of course. I'll seek support and information from friends and family, as well as my team of doctors. Good luck to you all.

tiffanyc0922 · October 2009

renafaith · October 2009

MandyBrownNoser:

Trouble TTC implies that there is actually a problem.

Whether that be a diagnosed problem (pertaining to fertility) or a "time" problem meaning you've been ttc for a year if you are under 35 and 6 months if older.

A dark hair on your chin does not necessarily mean you have PCOS. Neither does gaining weight.

You just might be hairy and gaining weight.

Having sex every day for three months and not getting pregnant does not mean you are infertile.

You have a 20% chance of getting pregnant each month... with perfect timing. So if you don't know when you ovulated you might not have had perfect timing so the chance would be even less.

It takes the average couple 6 months to a year to get pregnant. A year is not 7 months. It is not 10 months. If you've been trying that long you are still within the average range of time. That does not mean "trouble ttc".

So unless you have an actual diagnosis and/or have been trying to conceive for a year- calm the fuuck down.

I disagree. I'm hairy and not gaining weight. I've never had a weight, acne, or any other problem. However, my doctor diagnosed me with PCOS. The symptoms of PCOS vary from case to case. I agree with everything else you've said, but...just sayin'

renafaith · October 2009

Hartmaj:

Totally, totally agree! I'm sure those of us who have been trying for less than a year and are already worried annoy the holy living crap out of everyone who's been trying for a year / many years. Understandable.

Only one thing I'd add... knowing that it takes the average couple 6-12 months doesn't make a woman immune from worry if she's been trying for 7, 8, 9 months. It's not like for 365 days we're worry free, then on day 366 we suddenly go, "OMG! I just realized I'm having trouble trying to conceive!" There is a little bit of a gray area where you know you probably shouldn't be worried yet, but you're starting to feel anxious and wonder. Especially if having a baby is desperately important to you.

I for one am just looking for people who have "been there, done that" and are willing to share a little advice or support. When I was deciding what board to post my situation on I noticed there was an "Infertility" board and a "Trouble TTC" board and since I'm not yet diagnosed as Infertile I thought that "Trouble TTC" was more appropriate for me. Sorry if some feel that ladies like me are in the wrong place. Maybe "Getting Pregnant" is a more appropriate board?

This board was created for people like you! I used to post on the IF board because I had a diagnosis. However, I've only been TTC for 3 months and don't really fit in over there because I'm not into the treatment stage yet. So, when this board was created, I was in on the discussion and the consensus was the ppl who had been TTC for 6+ months that suspected something was wrong needed somewhere to post other than the IF board, which is more about treatments and diagnosis and such.

According to OP, everyone should just bombard the IF board with "Am I IF?" questions, since this appearantly isn't the place for them.

MandyBrownNoser · October 2009

renafaith:
MandyBrownNoser:

Trouble TTC implies that there is actually a problem.
Whether that be a diagnosed problem (pertaining to fertility) or a "time" problem meaning you've been ttc for a year if you are under 35 and 6 months if older.
A dark hair on your chin does not necessarily mean you have PCOS. Neither does gaining weight.
You just might be hairy and gaining weight.
Having sex every day for three months and not getting pregnant does not mean you are infertile.
You have a 20% chance of getting pregnant each month... with perfect timing. So if you don't know when you ovulated you might not have had perfect timing so the chance would be even less.
It takes the average couple 6 months to a year to get pregnant. A year is not 7 months. It is not 10 months. If you've been trying that long you are still within the average range of time. That does not mean "trouble ttc".
So unless you have an actual diagnosis and/or have been trying to conceive for a year- calm the fuuck down.

I disagree. I'm hairy and not gaining weight. I've never had a weight, acne, or any other problem. However, my doctor diagnosed me with PCOS. The symptoms of PCOS vary from case to case. I agree with everything else you've said, but...just sayin'

You apparently didn't read it very closely.

PSA- Trouble TTC

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