How long did you push?

BBCfamily · October 2009

I only got to push a few times and for what felt like only a few minutes before my son's heart rate started to drop, the room filled with nurses and my son had to be delivered by vaccuum. I was not able to have any pain medication and so had a very difficult time mustering the strength and courage to push and actually asked the doctor to just suck him out but I often see women on tv given time to rest and even taking hours to push the baby out. My husband likes to tease me that the delivery ended as it did because I didn't push hard enough. That I was weak. It breaks my heart. I don't want to think that I may have put my baby in danger. I try to tell him that it was probably just the position of the baby that caused it. What do you think?

jennmichael · October 2009

every baby reacts to the stress of birth differently. dont even think for 1 minute that you did anything wrong. every birth every woman is different thus each situation is independant. you did an amazing job and now you should enjoy your baby. next time your dh says something i would have a serious talk with him to end it. i doubt a man can go through what we do for 9 months and than deliver the baby.

janswedding · October 2009

Well that's pretty cruel of your husband to say, and you should tell him so.

Do not blame yourself! You did what you had to do to get him out safely, and you have absolutely no control over whether the baby goes into distress or not. I pushed for 3 hours and could not get the baby out. I needed the aid of forceps and was glad for the help, and my baby wasn't having signs of distress, so I could have even kept trying. I felt bad that I wasn't able to push him out myself. At one point I even asked for a c section, so I understand wanting to have a way out of the pain, I think we all understand that. Give yourself a break, it's not your fault. You got through it, you are a warrior.

Lambie. · October 2009

Your husband sounds like an ass.

NatPhoto09 · October 2009

kick him in the balls...let him squeeze out a baby and then he can talk. I pushed for 1 hours and 41 minutes.

kipper1128 · October 2009

I "pushed" for a little over an hour, with no epi

In most of the stories I've heard, pushing doesn't really have to do with Mom - it has to do with size of baby (and size of Mom) Some heads just won't come down - push and push (and get exhausted!) but that's just how it goes for some!

mrs.larry · October 2009

It was NOT NOT NOT something that you did wrong!!! totally the position of the baby and its size, if there's part of the cord being compressed down there, etc. Also the position that the hospital will *let* you push in makes a difference both in the speed of delivery and the baby's heart rate. I had to try a few positions because some were bad for baby's heart rate.

you carried and delivered a BABY! Good God woman, you are the opposite of weak. no man could do what you did. be proud of yourself and your beautiful baby. there is NOTHING wrong with you.

I pushed for 40 minutes and thank goodness DS was in a good position because that sh*t was HARD WORK. I don't know how women do it for hours and I think they must have an epi if they're taking breaks. I didn't have one and there was no such thing as a break. my body was doing it with or without my help. I was in tears screaming "I can't! I can't! I can't!" to which the dr.'s and nurses replied, "too bad."

sciteach · October 2009

I pushed for about an hour.

My doula pushed for 3 hours with her first, and 7 hours (!!!!) with her second. Both ended in c-section.

And your husband really really needs to stfu. He might think he's being funny, but he's being really insensitive. There is no way your OB would use the vacuum unless it was necessary - you did everything right.

AidensMama22 · October 2009

With my son I pushed for 15 mins. They said we will take a break after this last push (That was the push that my son came out on ((Thank God)) LOL)

HopingForOne · October 2009

Kick him in the balls, and then ask him how well he'd be able to push something outta his crotch area while feeling that pain.

To answer your question, I pushed for 35 minutes, and it felt like 2. Maybe you pushed longer than you thought.

In any case - you cannot control your baby's heart rate. You did nothing to put the baby at risk! I think it was responsible of you to as for help when you felt like you weren't doing well - some people wouldn't do that.

D*sMayBride · October 2009

My baby was sideways and I had to push for almost 2 hours and still got an episiotomy. (8 lbs, 10 oz)

AutumnBride929 · October 2009

I pushed for about an hour on Pit & it hurt like a biitch. It hurt way worse than transition before I was given the Pit drip (I was stuck at 9cm... swelling cervix).

I'm sorry about your experience but it sounds like you did awesome to me. Anyone who can do it w/o pain meds is admirable in my book. You should really be proud of yourself.

dgurl26 · October 2009

nlsanchez:
kick him in the balls...let him squeeze out a baby and then he can talk.

This. I pushed for 2 1/2 hours and ended with an emergancy c-section.

kristin7701 · October 2009

I think you did a great job and your husband has no idea what he's talking about. Seriously, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

In answer to your question, I pushed for 2.5 hrs but I am convinced I had the strength to do that because I had an epidural and was able to sleep all night. I had been hoping for a natural birth but had to get pitocin and was unable to handle those contractions.

mollymurphy · October 2009

Lambie.:
Your husband sounds like an ass.

Ditto. That was incredibly cruel of him. Every labor is different...I think I pushed for 20 minutes and I always thought this was the easiest part of labor. Wrong! It was much, much more difficult than I thought, even w/my midwife and the OB who was present telling me that I was doing a great job and pushing just how they wanted me to, it was still incredibly hard and frankly, a lot more painful than I thought it'd be. He's an ass.

mollymurphy · October 2009

mrs.larry:

I was in tears screaming "I can't! I can't! I can't!" to which the dr.'s and nurses replied, "too bad."

Ditto this: I remember looking up and after having said very, very little the entire time (I labored mostly w/my eyes closed and not being able to talk a whole lot) I couldn't help but look up at my midwife and doctor and whine, "It huuuurts!" I guess I expected them to pull the baby out for me, but the look they gave me said it all and it was only at that moment that I realized that holy cow...there's no other way and that noone was going to help me get him out. All at once, it was the most afraid I've ever been but also the most empowered b/c I knew that the only way he was coming out was if I sucked it up. But yes, I absolutely wanted the doctor and midwife to help me...

#6 · October 2009

A lot of it depends on how your body is made, the baby's position and the size of the baby.

At 16 I was told I had birthing hips. I thought that was a horrible thing for my Gyno to tell me at such a young age. For years I thought I had huge hips and was very self conscious about it even though I am very petite.

Then when I had ds I felt differently. I labored and progressed extremely fast and pushed for 11 mins. It was amazing. Ds didnt have any problems while I pushed and we had no other concerns.

Your dh needs to understand that every woman and every birth is different. You did nothing wrong and are not weak. You did what you needed to do to get your baby out healthy. Let him go through L&D after being pg for 9 months and see how he feels.

#6 · October 2009

Oh, just re read that you did it without pain meds. Um yeah you rock! I had an epi and felt absolutely NOTHING. I couldnt even feel contractions to push. My dr was reading the monitor and telling me when to push. I pushed on 3 contractions.

canonesay · October 2009

I pushed for 45 minutes. I had no pain meds. I have an allergy to codiene and my doc didn't feel comfortable giving me anything short of motrin. I totally get how you were feeling. Your husband is a jackass for saying those things. $10 bucks says he wouldn't have last half as long if he had to give birth. You did everything you could and you should be proud of that.

angel22 · October 2009

Sounds like you DH is being a big douche bag. Tell him that he hurts you when he says that- hopefully he'll get the hint!

Pushing is different for every person and for every delivery. My DD's were easy deliveries- DD1 was out in 3 pushes but it took about 10-15 minutes to do so. With DD2 my body wasn't helping push her out so I did all of the work and didn't wait for contractions so that only took about 5 minutes or less. With DD3 I had two gentle pushes right on top of each other and she was out- so less than a minute with her! Some women push for HOURS and end up with a c-section. Don't let your DH get to you, he doesn't have a frickin clue what it takes!

angelynn8411 · October 2009

1.) your husband is a douche

2.) i pushed for 3 hours b/c DD was facing sideways

hopanka · October 2009

Wow - that's very ugly of your husband to say. He's probably not realizing it, but women take their birth experience very personally, especially when something didn't go the way they had hoped. You should explain to him, that such comments are like a backhanded slap in the face.

Anyway, I pushed for 2 hours 10 minutes....no epi/meds. It was very hard and towards the end I honestly thought I was blacking out; in my head I was afraid I was not gonna make it....a little irrational, but hey - crowning itself took forever (DS had a large head...he inherited that from his grandpa and uncle, how lovely for me ;-) and was stuck for what felt like eternity.

hopanka · October 2009

mollymurphy:
mrs.larry:

I was in tears screaming "I can't! I can't! I can't!" to which the dr.'s and nurses replied, "too bad."

Ditto this: I remember looking up and after having said very, very little the entire time (I labored mostly w/my eyes closed and not being able to talk a whole lot) I couldn't help but look up at my midwife and doctor and whine, "It huuuurts!" I guess I expected them to pull the baby out for me, but the look they gave me said it all and it was only at that moment that I realized that holy cow...there's no other way and that noone was going to help me get him out. All at once, it was the most afraid I've ever been but also the most empowered b/c I knew that the only way he was coming out was if I sucked it up. But yes, I absolutely wanted the doctor and midwife to help me...

same here....after the head was stuck in the ring of fire FOREVER, I just said - basically crying (after mostly being silent for hours and pushing for more than 2 hours straight and no meds) "please help me"....the doc looked almost bored and said in a snotty way "you have to help yourself". They did pressure meds on me before so I felt he was sort of saying: you didn't want our help and refused meds....now deal with it.

lotsofbustles · October 2009

He's just teasing. If a baby's heart rate is dropping it needs to come out period. You are feeling guilty for nothing. Lighten up and go kiss your baby. You are not to blame.