I want to know the gender, DH doesn't

ac_in_dc · October 2009

How do we resolve this? Flip a coin? Should I be the one to compromise, or should he?

There's no way that I can find out without telling him. WWYD?

Amusjh · October 2009

Before we found out we were expecting, we both decided that we wouldn't find out the gender. But now that we are KU, DH wants to know the gender. I'm still debating on what to do....

dstar · October 2009

Oh...that is a hard situation. I was going to say you find out and not tell him but I guess that won't work. I would not want to compromise because I am a planner by nature. Good Luck. I hope you come to some kind of settlement.

Lil Kate · October 2009

DH didn't want to find out with my son. I gave in and we were surprised. It was the best thing ever. We are not finding out with this one and I am super excited. Waiting is amazing. GL

ac_in_dc · October 2009

Yeah, I could totally see the fun in waiting. I think either way we'll be pretty good natured about it.

Maybe we'll just have fun with deciding and play a gin rummy tournament or a game of scrabble and whoever wins gets to decide.

Raffes484 · October 2009

You still have time for him to change his mind. I would just continue to discuss pros/cons with him for a while to see if he'll change his mind.

Mike's Wife · October 2009

We went through this too, but it was the opposite. I really didn't want to find out and DH did so we compromised. The deal was we wouldn't find out the first time but if he wanted to the 2nd time, then we would. But he really enjoyed the surprise in the delivery room so I think he's leaning towards not finding out.

As for who should compromise? LOL!! I think it should be you:-) The only reason I say this is because you'll get to find out the sex, it just won't be at 20 weeks. But if you find out early, he won't get to say, "It's a __!" in the delivery room. Good luck!

Alicebean · October 2009

I think since you're the one creating the life then you win by default, lol ;-)

Mrs Merlot · October 2009

We're the opposite. DH wanted to find out and I didn't. I had a bit better case because our medical ultrasounds won't tell us the gender, we'd have to book a gender determination at a private clinic and pay out of pocket. And of course, DH is willing to pay for it.

Our compromise was that we'll find out but not tell anyone. That way we still get to do the "It's a ____!" when we call our family after the baby's born.

naylon511 · October 2009

We're the opposite - I don't want to find out and DH does - - though he doesn't really admit it. He just makes comments about finding out but then says it's up to me and he's fine not finding out too.

shawnandnickie · October 2009

I'm in the same boat! He wants to be surprised, but I figure it is enough of a surprise to see how labor goes and what the baby looks like, so there's my surprise, haha! I really think he's going to change his mind, especially now that there's been so many speculations since we got our heart rate (161 bpm). There is NO way I wouldn't want to find out the sex, at least not with my first pregnancy. I already can't wait to go shopping for stuff!

But, it might be fun to try and keep the secret from him, right? Good luck!

Alyssa102 · October 2009

We keep going back and forth on this too. I want to know and DH doesn?t. I looked at him and said ?Do you want your baby wearing green and yellow for it?s first few months?? and I think the situation is resolved.

I completely agree that there is an extra sweetness to waiting and being surprised, but I really want to decorate and have everything done before the baby is born. And I think that having things monogrammed (liked the babies first blanket) would be a great touch.

LovedWifey · October 2009

We're in the same boat. So i decided Id just wait to be surprised. I am a planner so it makes me a bit nervous.. but I figure that the baby isn't going to sleep in the nursery in the beginning anyway

Maplebear · October 2009

Mrs Merlot:
We're the opposite. DH wanted to find out and I didn't. I had a bit better case because our medical ultrasounds won't tell us the gender, we'd have to book a gender determination at a private clinic and pay out of pocket. And of course, DH is willing to pay for it.

Our compromise was that we'll find out but not tell anyone. That way we still get to do the "It's a ____!" when we call our family after the baby's born.

This!!

IrishBrideND · October 2009

lol GOD FORBID the kid where green and yellow and other gender neutral colors, haha.

There have been some creative compromises posted. GL!

rlodegaard · October 2009

We were in the opposite boat. I never, ever wanted to find out and DH did. He wanted to be prepared for the sex (if it's a boy; he's been surrounded by girls his whole life). But then we talked about names and he told me, eh, let's just wait. Having a name for either made him realize that it's a baby, it's not going to matter what it is. It will be a great surprise. And another plus, we won't spend as much money beforehand buying all the "adorable" gender-specific stuff. I figure we'll be able to restrain ourselves a little bit better afterwards, as well, with all the exhaustion and no energy for shopping. ;-)

PinkLove-S · October 2009

I am in the same boat. There is no way that i could wait but i don't want to ruin it for DH. Unless he changes his mind, i will find out and not tell anyone. This will give me time to pick things out and even buy things and just not open them. I'll just unpack and decorate when i am on maternity leave. I am too much of a planner. I wouldn't be able to take it. That is my compromise... Big Smile

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