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Parenting after a Loss
MissionImpossible
member
Rachel&Joe
MissionImpossible
member
My gosh-I just saw your siggy and wow--you deserve a medal. I had no idea you had such a rough time. I hope your LO is progressing--she sure is cute as a button. 86 days in NICU? One week here, and that was one week too long! Much love, Jill
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Re: Rachel&Joe
actually, it was 89 days--2 weeks past her due date.
It was so painful, for all of us.
My pregnancy was a hot hot mess: was on enough progesterone from the beginning to kill a horse, then had huge subchorionic hemorrhages from weeks 8-14, then bad screening results from NT scan (had amnio which turned out 100% fine), then was diagnosed with protein S deficiency (clotting disorder that causes late term losses), then around 20 weeks my Dr. started to notice the baby looked a bit small, 27 weeks I swelled up so bad that none of my shoes fit & my rings had to be cut off, and then the Wednesday before they took her, my BP was 200/120 with +3 protein & the rest is history!
They gave me some steroids (but they didn't seem to do much because her lungs are awful). Then I developed HELLP & was on mag for 4 days which made it so I couldn't see straight, think straight, thought my arms were going to explode every time the blood pressure cuff tightened. When I was brought in for my emergency C-section the day I reached 29 weeks, my body was so incredibly swollen that the anaestesiologist pricked my spine 12 times to do the spinal & just couldn't make it work so I had to be put under. Most awful awful moment in my life to wake up from a drug induced slumber to all of the awful sounds of the machines to learn the gender of my baby. I remember being glad I had a girl because I was told they do better than boys in the NICU. Also, she only weighed 2 pounds when she was born & was diagnosed with IUGR at birth.
During our NICU stay I struggled with not wanting to get to know my baby too much because I was so terrified she was going to die. She got pneumonia at 2 weeks old & was on the ventilator for almost a month. I can't believe we all made it out of there alive & that I am not living in a padded room.
She came home on oxygen & monitors & all sorts of meds & has horrible reflux & a milk allergy (choked so bad during a feeding last week that I had to give her mouth to mouth).
But you know what? She is so wonderful! Her smile can light up the room and she is the sweetest sweetie pie you will ever meet. I feel like a jerk complaining to you when you are really struggling too.