Dark side of parenting

MissionImpossible · October 2009

Geez, parenting after losses and through a divorce sucks. "The donor" (ex) had his first visitation in the playroom in my home with Dominic after a month of ignoring him. This is what the court has suggested for bonding. Well, here is how it went.

1. Instead of staying the prescribed hour, he made it 25 minutes. The baby screamed the entire time, and none of us are permitted in the room with him, because it would "hinder" bonding. Idiot court knows nada about child development.

2. "The donor" did none of the basic childcare (change diaper, etc) as he was supposed to during visit. I had a supply bag all made up and he ignored it and my note.

3. Isa lost it, as I predicted. I tried to explain it has taken 6 months for her to stop asking when daddy is moving home. She cried every night the first 3 months. I have not had Andy come into the home for this reason, and she finally got he has his house, we have ours. Until tonight when she begged him, sobbing, to move back in and hung out the window crying, watching him pull away.

4. I called all lawyers and told them this is stopping now. If they want what is best for these kids, they are way off. It took 6 months to get to just ok--I am not going backwards so the donor can come here 3 times a week for 20 minutes and I am left with 5 hours of drama after.

Thanks for the vent, ladies. I hope you are all well. Much love, J

moonfaerie · October 2009

Wow I hope things get better quickly and work out for you and most importantly for your kids.

Mandy06 · October 2009

I really do hope the lawyers realize how traumatic it is on your little girl, and you having to see your DD in that state.

I hope everything works out for you and your kiddos!

*on a side note, I giggle everytime you call him the "donor"!

confused25 · October 2009

That sounds like an aweful situation. I really hope that the lawyers realize what is truly best here. I'll be thinking good thoughts for you and hoping that things get better soon!

Crazycrustacean · October 2009

I'm so sorry that those mo mo's have their heads up their butts. I hope you get it figured out soon.

AU_Dre · October 2009

Sorry to hear that. It sounds like a terrible idea they have come up with. I hope you are able to work out some other situation with the donor soon.

bride2003 · October 2009

wow MI I had no idea you were going through all this. Just lots of prayers for you that everything works out for the best for your kids. As for your crankiness post - do you have Dr Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block - the 5 S's really work (swaddle,shhh, sway, suck & I forget the 5th- sounds maybe?). If he is formula fed don't rule out a switch to a different formula if that may be upsetting his stomach or gerd if he is BF as well. There should be a reason he is so cranky so try different things as best you can to see if you can find an answer.

good luck

sorry for all the posts!

bride2003 · October 2009

wow MI I had no idea you were going through all this. Just lots of prayers for you that everything works out for the best for your kids. As for your crankiness post - do you have Dr Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block - the 5 S's really work (swaddle,shhh, sway, suck & I forget the 5th- sounds maybe?). If he is formula fed don't rule out a switch to a different formula if that may be upsetting his stomach or gerd if he is BF as well. There should

bride2003 · October 2009

wow MI I had no idea you were going through all this. Just lots of prayers for you that everything works out for the best for your kids. As for your crankiness post - do you have Dr Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block - the 5 S's really work (swaddle,shhh, sway, suck & I forget the 5th- sounds maybe?). If he is formula fed don't rule out a switch to a different formula if that may be upsetting his stomach or gerd if he is BF as well. There should be a

bride2003 · October 2009

wow MI I had no idea you were going through all this. Just lots of prayers for you that everything works out for the best for your kids. As for your crankiness post - do you have Dr Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block - the 5 S's really work (swaddle,shhh, sway, suck & I forget the 5th- sounds maybe?). If he is formula fed don't rule out a switch to a different formula if that may be upsetting his stomach or gerd if he is BF as well. There should be a reason

bride2003 · October 2009

wow MI I had no idea you were going through all this. Just lots of prayers for you that everything works out for the best for your kids. As for your crankiness post - do you have Dr Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block - the 5 S's really work (swaddle,shhh, sway, suck & I forget the 5th- sounds maybe?). If he is formula fed don't rule out a switch to a different formula if that may be upsetting his stomach or gerd if he is BF as well. There should be a reason he

bride2003 · October 2009

wow MI I had no idea you were going through all this. Just lots of prayers for you that everything works out for the best for your kids. As for your crankiness post - do you have Dr Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block - the 5 S's really work (swaddle,shhh, sway, suck & I forget the 5th- sounds maybe?). If he is formula fed don't rule out a switch to a different formula if that may be upsetting his stomach or gerd if he is BF as well. There should be a reason he is

bride2003 · October 2009

wow MI I had no idea you were going through all this. Just lots of prayers for you that everything works out for the best for your kids. As for your crankiness post - do you have Dr Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block - the 5 S's really work (swaddle,shhh, sway, suck & I forget the 5th- sounds maybe?). If he is formula fed don't rule out a switch to a different formula if that may be upsetting his stomach or gerd if he is BF as well. There should be a reason he is so

bride2003 · October 2009

wow MI I had no idea you were going through all this. Just lots of prayers for you that everything works out for the best for your kids. As for your crankiness post - do you have Dr Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block - the 5 S's really work (swaddle,shhh, sway, suck & I forget the 5th- sounds maybe?). If he is formula fed don't rule out a switch to a different formula if that may be upsetting his stomach or gerd if he is BF as well. There should be a reason he is so cranky so

bride2003 · October 2009

wow MI I had no idea you were going through all this. Just lots of prayers for you that everything works out for the best for your kids. As for your crankiness post - do you have Dr Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block - the 5 S's really work (swaddle,shhh, sway, suck & I forget the 5th- sounds maybe?). If he is formula fed don't rule out a switch to a different formula if that may be upsetting his stomach or gerd if he is BF as well. There should be a reason he is so cranky

bride2003 · October 2009

wow MI I had no idea you were going through all this. Just lots of prayers for you that everything works out for the best for your kids. As for your crankiness post - do you have Dr Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block - the 5 S's really work (swaddle,shhh, sway, suck & I forget the 5th- sounds maybe?). If he is formula fed don't rule out a switch to a different formula if that may be upsetting his stomach or gerd if he is BF as well. There should be a reason he is so cranky so try

bride2003 · October 2009

wow MI I had no idea you were going through all this. Just lots of prayers for you that everything works out for the best for your kids. As for your crankiness post - do you have Dr Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block - the 5 S's really work (swaddle,shhh, sway, suck & I forget the 5th- sounds maybe?). If he is formula fed don't rule out a switch to a different formula if that may be upsetting his stomach or gerd if he is BF as well. There should be a reason he is so cranky so try different t

bride2003 · October 2009

wow MI I had no idea you were going through all this. Just lots of prayers for you that everything works out for the best for your kids. As for your crankiness post - do you have Dr Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block - the 5 S's really work (swaddle,shhh, sway, suck & I forget the 5th- sounds maybe?). If he is formula fed don't rule out a switch to a different formula if that may be upsetting his stomach or gerd if he is BF as well. There should be a reason he is so cranky so try different things to

bride2003 · October 2009

wow MI I had no idea you were going through all this. Just lots of prayers for you that everything works out for the best for your kids. As for your crankiness post - do you have Dr Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block - the 5 S's really work (swaddle,shhh, sway, suck & I forget the 5th- sounds maybe?). If he is formula fed don't rule out a switch to a different formula if that may be upsetting his stomach or gerd if he is BF as well. There should be a reason he is so cranky so try different things to see i

bride2003 · October 2009

wow MI I had no idea you were going through all this. Just lots of prayers for you that everything works out for the best for your kids. As for your crankiness post - do you have Dr Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block - the 5 S's really work (swaddle,shhh, sway, suck & I forget the 5th- sounds maybe?). If he is formula fed don't rule out a switch to a different formula if that may be upsetting his stomach or gerd if he is BF as well. There should be a reason he is so cranky so try different things to see if you

bride2003 · October 2009

wow MI I had no idea you were going through all this. Just lots of prayers for you that everything works out for the best for your kids. As for your crankiness post - do you have Dr Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block - the 5 S's really work (swaddle,shhh, sway, suck & I forget the 5th- sounds maybe?). If he is formula fed don't rule out a switch to a different formula if that may be upsetting his stomach or gerd if he is BF as well. There should be a reason he is so cranky so try different things to see if you can

bride2003 · October 2009

wow MI I had no idea you were going through all this. Just lots of prayers for you that everything works out for the best for your kids. As for your crankiness post - do you have Dr Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block - the 5 S's really work (swaddle,shhh, sway, suck & I forget the 5th- sounds maybe?). If he is formula fed don't rule out a switch to a different formula if that may be upsetting his stomach or gerd if he is BF as well. There should be a reason he is so cranky so try different things to see if you can get

bride2003 · October 2009

wow MI I had no idea you were going through all this. Just lots of prayers for you that everything works out for the best for your kids. As for your crankiness post - do you have Dr Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block - the 5 S's really work (swaddle,shhh, sway, suck & I forget the 5th- sounds maybe?). If he is formula fed don't rule out a switch to a different formula if that may be upsetting his stomach or gerd if he is BF as well. There should be a reason he is so cranky so try different things to see if you can get an a

farmwife · October 2009

Ugh, sorry it went so badly. I hope you can get the lawyers/court to realize how bad of an idea these "visits" are. Poor Isa.

sharon2004 · October 2009

Mandy06:

I really do hope the lawyers realize how traumatic it is on your little girl, and you having to see your DD in that state.

I hope everything works out for you and your kiddos!

*on a side note, I giggle everytime you call him the "donor"!

This! And definately document everything that happens. Maybe even videotape the aftermath to show how bad it is to the court. It's one thing to say that Isa was upset, it's another thing for them to actually see her freaking out as a direct result of the visit. Good luck to you sweetie!

GenaAndJosh · October 2009

IMHO, EX=POS. You know what is best for your kids!

jenn_darrin1515 · October 2009

I really hope the lawyers can see how this is affecting your babies and make a change to this now...I am sorry you are having to deal with this...I can only imagine...you are in my thoughts that things settle for you soon...

Katlady84 · October 2009

*huge hugs* I don't even know what to say MI, I'm so sorry you have to go through so much sh*t. You will be in my thoughts, I'll be sending all the positive energy I have your way!