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dh/IL vent follow up

RaeAntRaeAnt member
in Pennsylvania Babies

I post post yesterday or the day before about trying to get Dh to understand why I didn't want his parents here right after or for the LO's birth. Well, after many emails...yeah we hashed it out that way....it appears he does agree with me. that he wasn't any happier than me about them inviting themselves. He also understands and says he is in agreement to having my mom here. His issue....how the devil does he tell his parents without creating a riff? I told him to tell them that after realizing what i would be going through and with the baby only having been born, if it isn't late, it made more sense to wait. I told his that that should make sense to them and they should understand. if that fails, bring up that whole issue of his one sister having MRSA and having to be hospitalized again for it since they didn't listen about keeping her away form kids.(she's 15 and babysits)

His big problem is going to be the fact that he already emailed them airfare and hotel info yesterday. Dummy!

How would you suggest Dh tell his parents to hold off?
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Re: dh/IL vent follow up

  • holly9599holly9599
    Wondering if you could tie it in to holiday celebrations or something...for example, since you are due right around Christmas, you won't be feeling up to gift exchanges, etc., right during the actual holiday.  I would suggest giving yourself a few weeks before you'll be ready for all of that...so possibly suggest doing a late Christmas celebration with the ILs.  Maybe you could try for mid to late January for all that hoopla...and they would see the baby at the same time.
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  • RaeAntRaeAnt member

    We think we might take the "Dr. said so" route.

    Because of the sisters being teens and in school, there isn't many options for them other than Christmas and Spring break, which is my preference (SB, that is ) And it's just for them to visit and meet the baby. The holiday wasn't even mentioned. Not that we'd be exchanging anyway. We haven't in a couple of years because they always pull the "we don't have it now, but we'll give it to you late" bit. And we never see it yet they can buy the sisters a bunch of electronic crap that gets stolen, broken or lost. We stopped even bothering. Sounds petty, but after it happens so many times, you kinda give up. So there will be no celebrating involving Dh's parents. Just us and my Mom.

    This is about them flying down to TX from PA and having invited themselves without even asking our input. Dh needs to figure out a way to get them to stay in PA until we say it's ok.

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  • beth&anthbeth&anth
     The dr. said so is a good way to go! i am glad your dh is on board!
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  • RaeAntRaeAnt member

    After 2 days of fighting about and finally him saying that that he was in agreement and just didn't know what to say to them, we found out we were on the same side! It's a shame it had to get us both worked up for so long only to find out it was a total misunderstanding.

    Now Dh just needs to gather his kahunas and tell them.

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  • sunnybrook.sunnybrook. member

    My ILs did the same thing. My MIL is easily freaked out about any possible danger. I told her that we were concerned about family flying in right when the babies are born (early Jan) as that will be the height of seasonal flu and H1N1 and we didn't know what they would be exposed to on the flights. I think I even thru something in there about possible NICU.

    She thought about it and then decided to wait to visit.  Of course now she plans on bringing her sister from Costa Rica whom we never met and who speaks no English. Haven't addressed this one yet :)

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