That is how I am feeling right now.
With today being an exciting day as it would have been my last BCP before AF to start round #2 of IUI.. my husband decided to inform me last night that he wants to wait another 6 months to a year as he does not feel we are financially ready.
I'm 30.. we have been trying for 5 years. I have gone thru all the pills int he world, and than shelle dout $$ for injections to still fail and now he wants me to throw it all away and wait..
He gave me the it didn't happen last time is because you told yourself it wouldnot happen, and then if you relax it will happen speech. I cried all night, I am holding back tears while sitting at my job.
I am so angry at him right now cause this is my dream and he took it away, I have cried for years to be a mom and now I have to wait.. and hope I can get back to where we are right now.
I could not even look at him this morning with out wanting to scream at him.. He thinks that it's all me.. that this shoudl be easy and taking a break will help when I pointed out the last 5 years it has not happened.. I'm not getting younger this PCOS and Endometiosis and unolvulatay things my body has ae not going to just go away.
The $70 worth of drugs in my fridge are what is going to help us and now I'm throwing that away cause of him. I resent him, I hate him.. it hurts to say this but that how I feel right now. I am a bad person for hating my own husband.. My heart feels shattered.
Re: Shattered.. *long*
I'm sorry you're having some tough discussions with DH. TTC, especially when months turn to years, can certainly be emotionally and financially draining. When your DH says that you're not financially ready, does he mean to continue fertility treatments, or to take on the responsibility of raising a child?
Maybe you and DH can compromise by agreeing to proceed with the next IUI you had planned and then take a break. Your DH isn't trying to ruin your dream of becoming a mom. He's been right behind you for the past five years. And you are still young. Maybe it couldn't hurt to take a little time to get finances in order and focus on you guys as a couple.
Good luck!
Yes,I'm smiling...I'm a marathoner!
Bloggy McBloggerson
CO Nestie Award Winner-Prettiest Brain-Back to Back!
2011 Bests
5K-22:49 10K-47:38 Half Mary-1:51:50
2012 Race Report
1/1-New Year's 5K-22:11
2/11-Sweetheart Classic 4-mile-29:49
3/24-Coulee Chase 5K-21:40
5/6-Colorado Marathon-4:08:30
5/28-Bolder Boulder 10K
Oh honey - Im sorry. IF treatment is so hard.
I understand why you are upset - when you feel calmer you should sit down and have a rational convo with your DH.
It seems like a real waste to not use $70 worth of meds - perhaps the 2 of you can compromise - try this IUI and if it fails then take off 9 months. Or whatever you can both agree to.
Also try to find out why your H is so concerned right now. Is he worried about losing his job? It does sound like he wants to continue TTC but just not right now.
Yes, you are right PCOS, etc is not going to go away. But in the whole grand scheme of things waiting 6 months to a year shouldnt make too much of a difference.
Good luck. Im sorry that you and any of us here are having difficulty