I think I am hitting rock bottom

Mizz&Shizz · October 2009

This might be the worst day since this all happened.

I have absolutely no motivation. Not even enough to walk across the room to get the TV remote. I have been sitting lurking on here and GP for 2 hours straight, and my asss hurts. I can't stop crying. I can't stop thinking about what I no longer have, and what will never be. I am all alone at home, no one to talk to. I told myself I was going to call and make that appt for therapy, well I didn't. And now the office is closed for lunch for an hour.

I can't stand this....I am so sick of being sad, I just want this all to go away....I really didn't want to feel like this.

greekwife05 · October 2009

(((HUGE HUGS)))

Your not alone we're here for you.

Amanda78 · October 2009

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. Can you call someone to come over? Or just someone to sit on the phone with you until you can call for therapy? You sound like you shouldn't be alone right now. Hugs to you.

Tinybride08 · October 2009

Come on you. Stop lurking on GP. All those BFP's today suck. I know. I've been there today too. You're only torturing yourself. What do you mean what will never be? You'll get pg again. I don't remember hearing that you had IF issues. It's going to happen for you. Just not right now. Hopefully in 2 months when you start trying again. Think of it this way, now you have time to get ready for the baby. Start working on healthy eating and getting a little exercise in. Stay on a plan. This gives you something to look forward to.

I was more so sad last week because I sort of felt guilty if I wasn't. It's ok to let go and be happy right now. There are so many things to be happy about. Your health, a loving relationship , a house, the future baby, and all the other great things we don't know about. God wants you to be happy. K.

(Hugs)

*jenjen* · October 2009

Aw, I am soo sorry you're having such a sad day

It's totally normal to have bad days like this. I think the worst for me was also a few weeks after my d&c last year...something to do with the hormones dropping so fast. I would definitely call and set up an appointment with a counselor when they open back up...it really really helps to talk to someone else and just cry to them and talk about everything you're feeling. And crying is okay - you are going through the worst thing ever and it takes time before it stops being so sad. I will admit that it's never completely not sad. It's been over a year since my first loss and it still makes me tear up to think about it. But I promise it will get better. ((hugs)) take care...and stay away from GP for a couple days!

Nancy6306 · October 2009

Call someone, anyone you think can listen to you and be empathetic. As much as I love The Bump, I find that sometimes I have to step away and take a little break...for a few days or a couple of weeks.?

emeraudecephiro · October 2009

Oh, honey..I feel that way too...but we will all get through this. Feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to.

LauraLS80 · October 2009

I have the same concern: will my depression return? It's a pretty out-of-control feeling, but I think you're doing the right thing by making an appointment to talk with someone. Big hugs to you because depression/anxiety is a tough enough thing to deal with; added to a loss it's nearly unbearable. You'll get through this, but don't be alone. Even going to the grocery store, the bookstore, with friends....it'll help. Please stay in touch, let us know you're doing okay.

Mizz&Shizz · October 2009

First, all of you are amazing. I don't know why I felt that I was alone...I have all of you.

I did it. I called, left a msg, said that I was referred to so-and-so because I just had a m/c and I wanted to set up an appt, left my cell phone number and hopefully someone will call back and I can set up an appt.

I finally decided to just bite the bullet and do it, because DH called to see how my day was going, and I burst into tears and just started babbling. I felt stupid, because he is at work and I know he needs to concentrate and focus, and he probably feels awful that he can't just leave and come be with me. I decided that I can't do this to him, so I called. After the m/c, he wrote me a letter in a card saying how amazed he was at how strong I was and I how I was getting through this. Well I'm not strong anymore, and I feel like a complete idiot and a total wimp (even though I know darn well that the way I am feeling is perfectly normal).

I hope I can see them soon...because everyone I could call during the days when I'm not doing so well is at work. My BFF, who was my daily support system and therapy, just went back to work today after her maternity leave. So its just me and my dog. At least she likes to snuggle Smile

Thank you ladies for giving me support, and telling me to stay the hell off of GP for a while. I definitely can't take any more of the BFPs (even though I should be happy for them, its just too bittersweet right now).

Lisa23P · October 2009

Mizz&Shizz:
strong I was and I how I was getting through this. Well I'm not strong anymore, and I feel like a complete idiot and a total wimp (even though I know darn well that the way I am feeling is perfectly normal).

You ARE still strong, you just feel low. Don't let yourself think you aren't. We are all strong to get through these hard times. And sometimes we feel like total CRAP - BUT we're still strong. Hold your head up high, cry it out, and save a huge hug for your sweet DH.

fatima5968 · October 2009

I'm so sorry. I felt that way- I sat in a dark room for 2 days and slept and woke up to cry. I found reading literature or watching a movie was a good way to keep me not thinking about me.

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